<p>Ever have one of those "oh thank god-- his/her frontal lobes are finally kicking in! (i.e. he/she is developing good judgement). Had one of those today!! There is hope! Halleluyah!</p>
<p>DH and I were running off to the bank just before they closed to get something notarized. Told DS where we were going and he said-- hey wait, can I go too? I said “sure- are you making a deposit or a withdrawl?” He said he had a deposit to make. This was curious since I was not aware that, other than doing something for a neighbor for which he received small compensation, he had done anything that provided a revenue stream. So, being rather curious, I inquired as to the source of this deposit. After he first told me he sold a good batch of meth (he says this stuff with such a straight face too- love that dry sense of humor) he told us that he sold his Warcraft account to some kid at school for $150!!! And he peeled out the bills to prove it! YAY!!! He was spending too much time on that @##$$%%^^ game, and his mid-semester grades reflected it. He told us that let his on-line monthly registration fee thing lapse at the end of March (he told me that the other day), and sold his personal account today! There is a god. </p>
<p>What have your kids done to show you their transition to mature, responsible thinking/action, and away from the slacker son (daughter), or TSFH titles??? I can’t wait to hear/share the stories.</p>
<p>jym626, Congrats on your son becoming a responsible adult! He gives me hope! Although D is the complete opposite of a slacker, S should have his picture next to the word in the dictionary. I realize he is only 11, but he takes nothing seriously, and is content with getting just-passing grades. I find his attitude so frustrating. It’s good to know there might be an end to this - even if it’s 6 years away…lol.</p>
<p>LOL LIMOM! Mine was a late bloomer. He didnt perfect his slacker status until middle school, but was clearly on the varsity slacker team for several years. I am having a glimmer of hope that he might be turning a corner. Then again he’s likely going to a big party school next year, so, the jury is still out…</p>
<p>He did tell me he likes the “passive income” opportunities (like selling this account and winning a scholarship with cash award a few weeks ago). Fine by me. Good work, if you can get it.</p>
<p>jym626, I think the varsity slacker team is a co-ed team.</p>
<p>DD (16) has been complaining that she wants a job, so she can have spending money without begging me for it. She wants to be a lifeguard, but her EC schedule is so busy we haven’t been able to sign her up for lifeguard classes. Yesterday it dawned on me: if she put up a sign on the bulletin board at the dance studio, she could have babysitting jobs coming out her ears. I mentioned this to her and she said, “Ewww, no! I like kids, but not enough to spend my Saturday night babysitting them.” Good thing I spent $200 on summer clothes at Hollister LAST week, because since that comment I’m not feeling like supporting her clothing addiction.</p>
<p>DS has done well at college, and travelled cross-country by plane by himself this winter. Packed his own clothes, stayed calm when his flight was delayed for an hour, and gathered up his luggage all by himself. Then came home and did his own laundry, didn’t even ask me if I was doing laundry so he could throw his in. So that’s kind of adult-ish.</p>
<p>When older son was 17 and considering colleges, we went to my nephew’s wedding. An old friend of my sister’s was there, and she worked at a college my son was seriously considering. They chatted for a brief time, and when my son turned to leave, he said, “It was very nice talking to you. I hope I see you at The College next year.”</p>
<p>I was dazzled by his politesse and maturity. Who taught him that!!?</p>
<p>1) When we stayed as guests in a friend’s home last year, DS removed his linens from the bed on the last day and asked the hostess where she would like them!?! Say what?! I was stupefied and thrilled.</p>
<p>2) On a more serious note, he had a health scare last year - he was at home but we were away. Prior to calling us he made an MD appointment, went, needed further tests. Called to tell us about it at that point - to let us know that he’d been worried, that the doctor thought all was okay but recommended specialist tests just to be sure. I was pleased that he could handle it himself but that he also wanted to bring us into the loop early on to share his concerns and get our support.</p>
<p>Now this is a kid who a few months earlier called ME from his own campus, when I was 1600 miles away at home, to go online and help him figure out what building he needed to head to for some thing or other and find it on the campus map. What? They don’t have campus maps on site?</p>
<p>I’m just thrilled that S (a high school soph) now answers those who ask “How are you?” with “Fine, thanks, how are you?” instead of just a mumbled “I’m good.” We’re hoping for two whole sentences one day. :)</p>
<p>There have been lots of moments like that with my two oldest who are now in their twenties. Last summer I visited my daughter who lives off campus in a not-so-great neighborhood. One night I said I was going to the car for something and she looked at me like I had lost my mind and said, “you don’t seriously think you’re going to walk in this neighborhood at night by yourself do you?” I also received instructions about the best way to hold my purse when walking in a foreign country when we traveled. I wonder how they think I stumbled through life before they reached an age of levelheadedness and could advise me. It’s a strange and wonderful transition to watch them become competent adults.</p>
<p>Congrats, jym. Sounds like amazing maturity to me!
We’ve had a few moments with WildChild, but I don’t want to jinx anything by mentioning them!</p>
<p>For me it was when my oldest D left her purse at a train station and my younger D figured out how OlderD and I could get back to train station the quickest, got us free tickets, and just calmly took care of busines</p>
<p>Older Ds friends were useless in this event</p>
<p>And for younger D, the way she just "handles stuff’- going in for interviews for non exisistant internships and creating a job for herself</p>
<p>Well, I don’t know if it qualifies for impending adulthood, but just yesterday I was talking to middle S about his schedule for next year when he will be a senior. He listed a bunch of classes that he is considering, and then mentioned that some of his friends wondered why he was registering for a bunch of 400 level classes when he had already finished all his major and all but one of his graduation requirements. He said “Mom, I told them it was because I want to learn the stuff…duh”. I think he gets the point of his college education!</p>
<p>WildChild mentioned that he didn’t want to come out of law school with a lot of debt, and it might be smarter to go to a good state law school in a state where he would want to live and get merit money instead of going to a private law school that might be ranked a lot higher. This was a real breakthrough.</p>
<p>Way to go MOWC! It is so great when they finally realize we are not a bottomless money pit, and that advanced planning and asset allocation is important. (So is getting to know your lawschool classmates who you will be practicing with, and whose help you might need inthe future!). Tonight ds#2 actually helped bring up extra chairs and a folding table from the basement without a complaint, and without stalling. He said “sure mom” and he did it! It may not sound huge, but it is!</p>
<p>Older s has always been pretty responsible. What he has learned over the years is the fine art of diplomacy, and to get himself up in the morning! I was never sure he’d survive if anything had to be accomplished before noon.</p>
<p>The glimmers are few and far between, but S is still young yet, still young yet…</p>
<p>When I got home from work and found S making polenta for dinner. I was shocked! Granted, his reason for doing so (so he could eat dinner alone; he hates the whole “family dinner” thing) wasn’t very inspiring, but his cooking of his own volition was. </p>
<p>(We all ate together that night, so his evil plan didn’t work. WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! )</p>
<p>That’s way cool. Congratulations to jim626’s son and skatj for such good judgment!</p>
<p>My son is one of those “born responsible” types. What has always warmed my heart is when he will give me a hug when I’ve had a bad day. It’s nice to have a teen-aged boy who voluntarily does that! This year one of his teachers received some bad news at school. He immediately said, “Do you need a hug?” She did, and she got one.</p>
<p>2blue: My 17 year-old son gives those spontaneous comfort hugs, too! He seems to have been grown up for the last 3 years or so. I’ll miss him so much next year.</p>
<p>My D has struggled with mental illness for a long time and is currently living on her own. She dropped out of her 4 year college after 2 years and immediately got a full-time job, with benefits. She called me one day and asked for my SSN so that she could list me as a beneficiary on her life insurance policy. That rocked my world!</p>
<p>The main thing she has done that has impressed me tremendously (besides having a decent job and supporting herself) is that she decided on her own a few months ago to get help from mental health care professionals. She had stopped getting help at age 18 when people cannot be forced to do so. Reaching out can be a very difficult thing for people of any age with mental illness, but she is doing it.</p>
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