<p>When my D first went to college, there were several friends from our area who were there, too, so I didn’t worry much about her as I knew she wasn’t alone and friendless. I’ve never been one for talking on the phone, so I didn’t call her for at least a week. When I did call, she thanked me for not calling her every day! She said one of the boys’ moms called multiple times a day and he quit answering when he saw that it was her on the caller ID. Of course, her thanking me for not calling every day made me feel like a bad mother because it had not occurred to me that everyone else’s mom was calling! We did the IM a little for the first year and I also was able to monitor her checking account to see where she was spending money. I assure you she was eating much better than her brother and I here at home. Now she is back home and brother has recently moved out. I am usually asleep or at work when she is at home, so I feel like an empty-nester. It is very quiet around here! (I am single.)</p>
<p>From the day I dropped her off at nursery school, I knew my D was not going to appreciate any hovering. She opened the car door and ran towards the door and never looked back. It was a little harsh. Not that she doesn’t want my attention - it is just on her schedule. So I was prepared.</p>
<p>Oldfort - I love your rule about one positive thing. Sometimes they just dump and run. </p>
<p>I will admit that last summer when she was doing an internship I kept a cyber eye on her. She was living by herself in a small, lovely efficiency in a home in an upperclass neighborhood. My problem? It was a beautiful area but it was very, very wooded. She walked about a mile down a small lane to get a bus to work. The day we arrived there were two deer in the road. I was worried sick about her getting home safely from work. We are both on skype and I would check to see if she was on skype every afternoon. It was nerve wracking. She survived and so did I, but it was a long summer.</p>
<p>worknprogress, I knew early on that my D was very independent also. The first day of kindergarten, I took her to her classroom, helped her put away her supplies, and hovered around for a while until she looked at me and said, “You can go now, Mom.” I made it almost to my car before the tears fell. LOL</p>
<p>My D just texted "It’s snowing! "… she is from California and 3000 miles away…</p>
<p>Worknprogress and Music mom, I went through the same with my only son when I dropped him at his kindergarten years ago. He is now a 16 y/o junior at high school and our only child. I am trying not to think of the day when he leaves for college. He does not believe much in keeping contact when he is away from home in debate/decathlon competitions or summer camps. I shudder to think of being an empty nester. it is as if our worlds revolve so much around him!!</p>
<p>After my D’s 1st sleep away camp around age 8, she said “I don’t want to hurt you feelings, but next year it will be longer”.</p>
<p>Amm2009 - we feel your pain!</p>
<p>A financial aid officer at the college where DH works has a great suggestion. When you haven’t heard from your child, buy a wonderful card, maybe a funny one, and write a note telling said child how much you miss him/her, and that you are enclosing a check or cash for them to enjoy themselves. </p>
<p>Mail the card, not the $$, and he says the phone WILL ring.</p>
<p>first day of preschool my four year old walks in, looks around, and firmly says, “Bye.”</p>
<p>second day of preschool my four year old tells me, “Mom, I can just drive myself today.”</p>
<p>alh, that is a great one!</p>
<p>I think I told this story several months ago. When younger DD was about three she went to church bible school in the summer. When the morning was over, I went to pick her up and she crawled under a table, held onto the leg and wailed,“Please don’t make me leave!”</p>
<p>Fortunately, the woman who had her class was a good friend of mine. She deadpanned, “First case of reverse school phobia that I’ve ever seen.”</p>
<p>I had to promise her that we were returning the next day. Oh, I was feeling like such a competent school psychologist and a wonderful mom that day.</p>
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<p>oldfort, that is very encouraging. Just about a week ago, D and I started texting each other a “gratitude” message every morning – “I’m grateful for old movies,” “I’m grateful for warm boots” – so far, just little stuff like that. I started it for the same reason, I wanted to hear something besides bellyaching.</p>
<p>LasMa - I’ve found it’s easier to be around positive people, especially at work. It is draining when someone always have something negative to say. As parents, we tend to put up with it, but boss wouldn’t want to deal with it. The ability to “shake it off” will be more important as they get older.</p>
<p>Well, mine is more of a thing my D has learned. If she gets a call from us , on a random night, when it hasn’t been that very long since the last contact, she will invariably ask “Dad/Mom. What TV show were you watching where the college girl got hurt/raped/maimed/killed?” Yeah, well… we are that simple, dear. We’ve never tried to hide that.</p>
<p>It sounds stupid LasMas but I try to watch some of the same TV shows that D watches. Then if everything else isn’t going well, we can at least talk about how silly some girl was on the Real World. It lightens up the mood for us.</p>
<p>Actually, things are going better for my D. I don’t know what it is for her and maybe it’s just getting used to things (she never transitioned well) and being home for a month really helped to see that home is really boring! lol</p>