Every year, we are invited to a NYE party which is very dull, though we like these friends a lot. A few years back, a “funner” friend also started having a NYE party that we enjoy and want to go to again this year. It has worked out that we have had valid reasons for attending the party of the funner friends for a couple of years in a row. However, this year, “dull” party friend (DPF) invited us before “funner” friend (FPF) did, plus DPF has moved into a new house, which we have not yet seen, as it’s about 45 minutes away. We saw DPFs the other night at our Xmas party. We haven’t been to a party with FPFs since the summer. What to do?
We have standing invites with both groups of people now. I guess I am feeling guilty because I haven’t been to their new house, and it’s been about four years since we went to the “dull” party. Don’t know if I give in to the guilt.
How far apart are the parties? Can you party hop, as many folks do on NYE? Can YOU help the party be more fun? What are the chances the other party may not happen or you won’t be invited? I tend to go with the bird in hand and try to bring the fun where I go. Ymmv.
The parties are now too far from each other. And I do try to bring the fun, but quite a few of the others at the “dull” party are really dull people. Hubby wants me to choose. Aargh!
Well, since my son was born on NYE 23 years ago I figure I’ve already had the biggest party and never have to sweat NYE again. Actually, we’ll be visiting family on NYE in a southern state and I have already let them know that they can celebrate any way they want but I’ll be spending it with a good book. They’re cool with that. Now all I have to worry about is the 23 year old’s birthday and how he chooses to celebrate back home.
We had attended such a boring party for a number of years and then H’s Company part interrupted this for a few years and then we no longer had a conflict.
We do like this couple but the food is awful and the evening totally dull.
So we just RSVP with no excuse at all and a friendly message to see them in the new year.
Life is just too short and a boring party too painful.
I agree with Oregon. Just tell DPF that you really want to see her house and would like to put a get together on the calendar. However it just isn’t going to work out on NYE, you don’t owe any explanation. I know that’s very very hard to do, but I’ve become better at that. If she presses you, then say someone else invited before she did and asked for your help. You’ll start resenting her. You do not have to go where you don’t want to! Go have fun.
Tough one. Any chance you could do New Years Day brunch with the “dull ones”. Boy, just typing that made me lol. Could start a new tradition. I would not lie, it will catch up with you. Its alright to turn down an invite, its just that, an invite, you are not obligated to attend. Honestly, I would try to start a new tradition with the couple themselves, either New Years Day brunch or an outing together sometime between the two holidays?
Just to say that I no longer make up excuses. I just say we will not be there.
were actually to be pressed I would simply say, “this is not going to work for us”.
Reason? probably my temperament.
completely an aside–This lovely person brings her personal can of diet coke
to our gourmet dinner. When she invited us to dinner she puts a can of refried beans
into her skillet and served cold burritos with nothing else. This after we have had them for
many nice dinners.
So while we enjoy their company from time to time as they are nice people–
Nope, no more of their awful food and overhead lights on with 2 bottles of wine for 25 people and
no candles and so on…
I never understood the idea of being guilty about not accepting an invite to a party, if you know it is going to be boring. The idea of a party is to have fun, and if it isn’t, well, it isn’t. We all have things we just ‘had’ to attend, especially family events, so why suffer through something like the party in question? I realize there are times when there may be very good reasons to go, like the people in question have had some sort of major loss, or someone you won’t see very often is there, but in the end it is discretionary.