<p>I am so sorry for your loss. Very sad. I think you and your family should give yourselves a “bye” for this first Christmas without mom. Do the best you can in the time you have but don’t try to replicate what she did. You don’t have to or maybe just one thing…if her thing was chocolate chip cookies, then get all of you in the kitchen and whip up a batch together. Keep it simple and just be together and don’t be afraid to talk about mom and the great times. I’m sure they can hardly wait to see you. Hugs.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your suggestions!</p>
<p>My mom was a pastor, actually, so we do have a really good support network at church and some family not far away who we plan to spend part of Christmas day with.
A lot of you suggested paring down the traditions, and I realize that there are a few of them that I find myself really thinking about - Mom making hot chocolate from scratch on Christmas morning, decorating cut out cookies together, and Christmas stockings filled with all kinds of fun little things. If I focus on those, I think I can handle it. I should be able to rope my 24 year old brother into frosting cookies with me, right? And I could bring back some things to add to the stockings from Germany, too. For some reason, I’m not too worried about there not being much under the tree - my brother and I both have enough money that it’s not really about getting stuff - but it’s the nostalgia of the stockings.</p>
<p>I will probably spend plenty of time keeping busy by baking and plunking out Christmas songs on the piano, but also plenty of time crying. It’s nice to know that it’s OK to let some things go.</p>
<p>my brother and I both have enough money that it’s not really about getting stuff - but it’s the nostalgia of the stockings.</p>
<p>I just had a thought after reading this…why don’t each of you play “Mrs Claus”…each of you put on your “Mom’s Thinking Cap” and imagine what funny, meaningful gifts your mom would have likely got you. These things don’t have to be expensive. If Mom was known to put funny socks in your stockings, then do that. If Mom put Belgium chocolates in your stockings do that. If Mom put funny “footsie pajamas” under the tree for y’all, do that. </p>
<p>My mom always put our favorite “pricier” shampoos & fuzzy socks in our stockings. To this day, when I buy those things, I think of her.</p>
<p>Nano-- So sorry for your loss. I find your thinking of ways to help your family celebrate this season a very sweet tribute to your mother. There is no one right way, and the other suggestions, as well as your own inclinations/ leanings are all great. One thing I do every season is start out the gift getting process with a gift (or action) on behalf of my deceased parents, a donation or volunteer time toward a cause that represents their interests or values or a gift to someone who otherwise might not have been on my gift list. Somehow, it makes the start of the season just that bit sweeter. But, overall, you have to play by ear what will work for you and your family this season, and as others have said, what mix of mom traditions and new ones your family will use going forward. Best wishes and peace to you this holiday season, and always.</p>