Schools my D’19 was looking at didn’t make you choose a major right away but D just wanted to have a plan. You could try what we did- looked at lists of majors at different colleges and if something seemed interesting, then she would look at the course lists and descriptions required for that major. That gave her a feel for what was involved and usually helped her decide for or against it. When she picked one, it narrowed down her school choices because it wasn’t offered at most colleges. She is pretty set on it now but the college she is going to has every major she ever considered so she should be okay no matter what.
It isn’t unusual that a 17- or 18-year-old doesn’t know what she wants to study in college. Most kids that age don’t, because they don’t yet know what they want to do after college. For those kids, they’re generally not on a pre-professional path (such as engineering, business, nursing, etc.) so they could either choose a small-to-medium sized college that primarily focuses on liberal arts education, or a college/school dedicated to arts and sciences within a larger university (such as Rutgers). The arts and sciences school/college tends to be the largest school/college within such universities, offering many majors ranging from humanities, to social sciences, to natural sciences and math, plenty of areas of interest to intrigue an undecided student.
“Do you have tuition reciprocity with any other schools (in or out of NJ?)”
No, as far as I know.
The most difficult problem we face is our daughter not only does not know what she wants she does not want to work or discuss with us to explore the options. She wants to go to college but any attempt from us, parents, to steer the discussion into exploratory options she just shuts us down with “How am I supposed to know?”.
As far as I know she had the same conversation with her HS counselor who by the way is very high opinion of her achievements an potential and even called us several times and expressed this to us in person.
One thing I want to point out though to those who see the situation is normal (most popular major is “undecided”). I want to stress our philosophy that college is a very expensive endeavor, most likely the most expensive in one’s life and that has the most profound impact in person’s career and life in general. We consider college is the place to get practical education that leads to successful career to pay back first of all education debt and feed yourself and your future family. We conveyed to all our three children that we would pay only for 4 years of practical career oriented undergraduate degree (5 if major requires). If they choose to study some BS (sorry liberal arts folks), or they will spend 6 years in college switching majors, they will be doing this on their own dime.
I personally do not find the situation when almost 17 year old young adult cannot figure out at least in general terms what she wants to study is not normal. we offered her numerous times to explore different areas from taking college summer courses in Rutgers in different subjects to different summer camps and programs to explore different areas. You cannot really decide what you want until you try something. But we have this situation and we have to deal with it in most productive and positive way.
Maybe starting out at community college would be a good idea.
[quote] @Al73 We consider college is the place to get practical education that leads to successful career to pay back first of all education debt and feed yourself and your future family.
If they choose to study some BS (sorry liberal arts folks)
[/quote]
Offhand this seems like part of the problem. You want your daughter to study only practical fields (what are those? Engineering, nursing?). And it appears you want her to do it at Rutgers because that is the cheapest option. Nothing wrong with that second point but I do see an issue with the first.
Liberal arts includes math, sciences, humanities, languages, all sorts of very useful majors.
Going in undecided IS the norm in the US, for most students. The trick to graduating in 4 years is careful planning of classes to fulfill any distribution requirements as well as the chosen major requirements.
OP, at some point, student needs to do some investigation and reflection. Shadow friend at their job?
What ecs or hobbies or jobs does she have now? These could be starting point to connect to a path through college.
Does high school use Naviance? If so, has survey of interests.
How about local community college- often has career counseling or open houses introducing health, law enforcement, IT, business careers. Some hs guidance counselors or parents have students research different careers using US dept Labor occupation statistics and make PowerPoint on three careers. What is education and training needed, who are major local employers, what are typical salaries.
Is she an upcoming Junior then, at age “almost 17?” This sounds similar to my son’s timeline. Starting Junior year, he was realizing that he should start thinking about college and areas to study. He did not (and does not still, as an almost-college freshman) have a certain job that he wants, but over time first semester Jr. HS year, he decided maybe Psychology or Political Science…two majors that every college has. I asked him to start thinking about what kind of school he might want, in terms of big/small, urban/suburban, location, etc. We found a super simple and helpful quiz of this nature, takes 5 minutes, on Forbes I think. We started to make some exploratory casual visits to nearby schools so he could get a feel for campuses…a small Jesuit school in our state where my dad went, and he went to a college fair at another local campus, and we’re next to the huge state flagship. Slowly, he started narrowing down on location and size, and he did some looking into Psych careers and settled on that (for now). We both realized by then that an LAC or other school that allows for exploration would be best for him, so now we had some more general things to start our searches with in terms of size, and he clarified some locations, and I was always looking for close faculty student relationships and strong advising. The process of clarifying wants, and creating and narrowing lists, was slow and gradual, but it happened in time for us to eventually do several visits over Jr. year spring break, by then it was seeming real and he was able to articulate what he liked and didn’t like. Our entire search was focused on fit and not on anything program specific. So anyway, this son who at the beginning of Junior year, had no reply to “where do you want to go? or what do you want to study?” …he “got there” over time to have a well balanced list, apply EA, and in the end chose a school that we both believe is the perfect fit for him, one where there is strong advising, a size that will allow him to have close relationships with faculty, and one where he can explore and hopefully discover his true passion that leads him to a successful and fulfilling career, whatever it may be.
You might want to take a deep breath, then try to read the above quote from her perspective. If you do, I think you will see why she won’t talk to you.
FYI, on the list of the college majors of the 400 richest people in the US, two of the top three are liberal arts (Economics and History). Maybe she is smarter than you think.
@Al73 I make these comments with respect for what you are going through. I understand that you want your D to have a a path but they don’t always have one at that young age. It seems finances are a big part of it and I completely understand that but you can’t push her to make a decision she isn’t prepared to make. It seems like Rutgers is her only option, maybe she wants to go away to college and spread her wings a little. It sounds like she is a great student would she have the possibility for merit aid anywhere else? My S is going into his junior year in college and has changed majors. His school has general education requirements that he was working on so he didn’t lose any time. Maybe she is afraid to tell you what she really wants or how she really feels? Like @momofsenior1 suggested maybe junior college is a good idea until she figures out what she wants to do. She could live at home saving some money and getting general ed classes out of the way. I wish you luck as your family figures this out!
I think OP’s last post makes it pretty clear why D doesn’t want to discuss it.
She will be 17 in September, she is rising senior.
Her school does have Naviance. No sure if she took any sort of quiz.
“Offhand this seems like part of the problem. You want your daughter to study only practical fields (what are those? Engineering, nursing?). And it appears you want her to do it at Rutgers because that is the cheapest option. Nothing wrong with that second point but I do see an issue with the first.”
I am not forcing any specific college on her and she provided no input on which colleges she wants. Not a single one, even Rutgers. Her genetic answer to any question is “I don’t know”. What is “practical” to me? Anything that she can prove will allow her to get a job after graduation to justify college expense and supper her and her future family.
I don’t mind paying for an expensive college if it makes sense. For instance her twin sister has clear idea and demonstrated interest to study BME an we are prepared to pay potentially sicker price in Ivy league school if she gets there. However, paying a lo of money when does not know what she wants and she has no college preference makes no sense,
“You might want to take a deep breath, then try to read the above quote from her perspective. If you do, I think you will see why she won’t talk to you.
FYI, on the list of the college majors of the 400 richest people in the US, two of the top three are liberal arts (Economics and History). Maybe she is smarter than you think.”
Bill Gates is one of the richest person in the world and college dropout. Can we assume now that any college dropout is or will be as successful as he is? Yes, there are folks who majored in history have successful career. But if you check statistics you will see that majority of those who have history degree work in Starbucks with no way to pay tens of thousands of dollars they borrowed for their useless degree. I don’t want this fate for my child and I will certainly not going to pay for this.
@NJWrestlingmom Oh, I completely agree with you! I noted that she may not be ready for college because of this:
I’d like to see those statistics. But I suspect they do not exist.
If you want concrete suggestions for her for college then perhaps post her GPA and test scores and whatever else you are comfortable with posting here and we can make some suggestions for schools you might visit with her that she might get into, might be affordable.
College visits can get some excitement for college and engagement going, in my experience.
Otherwise perhaps she just doesn’t want to go to college right now?
LOL my father in law has a history degree. He’s been the head of a graduate school department for many years, living an extremely comfortable life. Of course he did graduate study. My sociology degree has gotten me a 6 figure income in a Fortune 100 company. A career goes WAY beyond the subject studied.
“If you want concrete suggestions for her for college then perhaps post her GPA and test scores and whatever else you are comfortable with posting here and we can make some suggestions for schools you might visit with her that she might get into, might be affordable.”
SAT - 1510, subject SATs: Calculus BC - 770, Bio E - 770, Chem - 740. Not sure about GPA. She is a Silver Honor Roll Student, has few B+. Six AP classes: in three she got 5 and other three she got 4. She has been on FBLA team, NJ LSC program, Varsity track team.
OK, if her gpa is at least 3.5 she would qualify for basically free tuition at Alabama: https://scholarships.ua.edu/freshman/out-of-state/
Don’t mess with history majors, @AI73- we know how to do research!
https://www.historians.org/publications-and-directories/perspectives-on-history/april-2017/history-is-not-a-useless-major-fighting-myths-with-data
My history + politics major collegekid had a job offer from a famous name consulting firm by the start of her senior year of university. Came with a hiring bonus and great perks, and they gave her some summer vacation after graduation before she started work.
Your D will have many wonderful options, some scholarship opportunities especially STEM possibilities. AP credits may allow early graduation, or double major, or early start on a masters. Many opportunities in math , statistics, data science.
If she enjoys track, could be recruited by military service academies.
this is absolutely, unequivocally false. It drives me crazy when people say this. A major does not get you a job. She would have to get experiences in the form of summer internships. Even an engineering major or business major or physical therapy major with no experience will not get a job after graduation. But a history major who has had summer internships at big banks will get job offers.
Here are examples of possible jobs/career fields a history or philosophy major can have—and these are EXACTLY the types of jobs the friends of my recent graduate have gotten with liberal arts degrees:
Investment banking
Management consulting
E-Commerce business (e.g., Amazon)
Human Resources
Journalism
Advertising
Public Relations
Museum administration
Micro-Consulting (e.g., AlphaSights, GLG)
Digital project manager (e.g.,Facebook, Epic)
Corporate meeting planning
Corporate internal communications
Media programming (CBS, CNBC, etc.)
Wealth management
Marketing for multinational companies
In addition, she may be interested in going to graduate school in law, business, medicine, speech therapy, occupational therapy, dentistry, social work, psychology, or any of a zillion different professional degrees.