We have all of my father in laws letters from WWII. We have both sides of the correspondence (the ones my FIL wrote to his family and those that the family wrote back - they somehow kept both sets). My husband and I have read through them. There are one or two gems (my husband’s aunt writing to her brother about being in times square on VE Day, my FIL writing to his family reminiscing about a day he got as far as the train station to go to work before he realized he still had on his slippers.) My husband and I both enjoyed reading them. One Thanksgiving (when my in-laws were still alive) we read a few aloud and it made everybody else cry - they felt they were too sad to listen to. We are saving them for future generations!
My husband’s aunt passed along family papers, including old letters between family members from the 40s. The only one she kept and passed on to DH from her mother/ his grandmother (who you know must have written very frequently in those days) was one where Grandma offered a dismissive opinion about the girlfriend who became my MIL. Passive/aggressive much?
Well psychmomma, I am struggling with this very thing. When my mother was in the beginnings of Alzheimer’s she would occasionally say ‘I want to burn the letters your father sent me ‘( during ww2 ).I think she did not want anyone to read them. She is now deceased. Well I never knew where they were, but apparently my brother found them going through the estate things and read them. He said they were cute and then one day he sent them to me. The box is unopened for 2 years now. I feel like I want to keep them because of my fathers memory because I really never read a letter he wrote, but I don’t want to read them out of respect. So they sit in the box in the basement.
“your work personnel files, do you keep them knowing that other people may be reading them one day?”
I did a big purge of some files last year and this kind of stuff was part of it. Not only did I not want my kids to deal with it if something happened to me, I didn’t want them to read through it. Most was fine or better than fine but, having had more than 12 bosses over the years, not every one of them loved me. 
I couldn’t think of any reason to hang on to them any longer.
Re: Old family letters.
A grad school classmate of mine said about her diary, “If I don’t keep one, how will my grandchildren ever know about me?” Sometimes we save things not for us, but for a generation or two after us.
Sometimes people write things in diaries that they would never say in person, and that would cause pain if anyone read them. Sometimes I wonder if those have been left behind for that purpose. Not all of our family members’ inner thoughts were kind.
I’m glad to see that others share my hesitation about reading private letters - even after the writer and recipient are long dead. A cousin recently shared the family documents in his possession. A letter from a long dead great-aunt to her mother was included. I felt like I had stumbled into position as an eaves-dropper to a private conversation as I read into personal reflections that followed more general news. I still feel guilty that I unwittingly read these private thoughts. I knew this woman and can’t help wondering if she really wanted this letter to be read by later generations.
Personally, I was mortified and furious when after the death of another great-aunt, my mother called saying that she had the letters I had written to this aunt as a high schooler and college student. My mother then quoted from various letters which were, of course, not addressed to her and not ever meant for her eyes. I have destroyed all letters, photos, journals, etc that I don’t want “in the public domain” in the future. I didn’t occur to me that others might have my letters in their possession available for public display.
I would keep old diaries/journal as long as they don’t get too personal.
One of my favorite things my family owns is a recommendation letter my father had from his first job outside of the country. A pretty big deal back in the day!
My spouse has the same view as in #126 about family letters addressed to other people including other family members, so I understand where people with that view are coming from, and I respect it.
I have a different viewpoint, though. My Dad wrote letters during WW II to a close friend, who was about 6 to 9 months behind my Dad in flight training. The letters were saved by the friend’s mother, and then passed along to the friend’s wife, later to my step-mother, and eventually to me.
I got them about 6 months after my dad had died. Some of the stories in the letters were ones that I recognized from my Dad’s WW II memoirs. But others were new to me. One told about his landing a plane during training, with roughly a ton of bombs that were–unbeknowst to him–not safetied. The landing was apparently excellent, and there were no injuries. He wrote, “I learned how bombs are safetied and unsafetied, but quick!” My dad was super-encouraging to his friend–a quality that did not surprise me. I found it fascinating that even though the letters were written when he was 19 to 21 years old, there was a great deal of consistency in his character and even in his mode of expression. For me, it was like having a few extra words from my Dad, after he had died. This was priceless.
I think if you know the author of the letters, you can guess from your relationship to the author whether the author would be happy or unhappy for you to read the letters.
@QuantMech, what a priceless treasure! The WWII experiences are definitely to be shared and honored.
My concerns are more with the very personal. My great-aunt had saved letters from my summer camp days - I have no problem with those letters full of campfires and swimming lesson accomplishments being shared. It’s the more personal letters of adolescence that were clearly meant to remain between writer and recipient that I resent having been found and obviously read by my mother and possibly others.
You are so correct - the relationship of author and writer needs to be respected.
There are some things we wished we’d never knew existed. DH’s sister and BIL found, among BIL’s late parents’ possessions, an, ahem, videotape of his mom and her second husband. And lots of Polaroids.
May they rest in peace.
Letters and diaries are fascinating to me if only for the simple reason they are disappearing as a form of communication
I don’t have a lot of letters or cards from my mom, but one of my relatives had a neat idea I totally stole.
Find a birthday card or letter with someone’s handwritten signature. My mom always signed hers, “love, Mom.” I copied that, enlarged it a bit and framed it. It’s really kind of nice. I know it’s adding a sentimental item, but maybe for someone it will stand in for some things that can be gotten rid of such as the letters.
^^^ I know folks who have scanned recipes, bits of letters, signatures, etc. and printed them on fabric for a memorial quilt or pillow. A print out of an email from my mom just doesn’t have the same feel as her signature on a card.
Check with historical societies about journals and letters, etc. Even very old photographs that are of things that you have no idea as to what they are. They might be thrilled to have them.
Today’s find was some pieces of a child’s china set from approx. 1880 and some figurines from the 1950s. Although the container had my name written and taped to it, I don’t know who these came from. I’m sorry someone kept these for me, but never let me know. Letting my parents know wasn’t good enough in this case. So now I’m torn because they aren’t sentimental to me as something I remember from my childhood, but they are sentimental when I think one of my grandmas must have kept these for me. I’ve been doing well with the sorting, but I guess I’ll start a box of “what should I do with these?”
If they aren’t sentimental to you because you have no memory of them, I think you should get rid of them.
My mom had tons of stuff like that…labeled with my name on it. She bought most of it at flea markets or tag sales.
I’m with @VeryHappy…this stuff has NO sentimental value to you. Something with sentimental value brings back YOUR memories of an item. You don’t have that with this stuff.
Donate.
When my grandmother (mother’s mother died) my mom made sure to get her bible because she knew my adoptive niece’s (my mom’s dister’s daighter) birth mother’s name was written in it. Now I have the Bible, and I know the name of my cousin’s birth mother. My cousin doesn’t know that I know it. She has never mentioned wanting to search for her birth mother, so I have not said anything. There can be all kinds of personal info among old papers/letters/Bibles.
For Sentimental things , I have a " one box” rule. Each person has a big box ( about the size of a double boot box where they can put items that have purely sentimental value ). This eliminates all the moaning about “ but what about that WWII journal and those love letters.” Answer: Those fit in the one box. An entire half carport of stuff? Nope. Full stop.
Advice on Stamp books - think stamp of the month, doll collection and bradford exchange plates? Goodwill seems wrong but need the advice of the collective to help me think of other possible options…stamps and plates have no value on ebay etc…