<p>^^
I remember believing that I’d never be happy again, never feel better. One reason first breakups are so tough is that the young person doesn’t have the experience under his/her belt to know that the feeling doesn’t last forever. Again, your H is a wonderful dad (and you are a wonderful mom).</p>
<p>Lafalum - you are so right about facebook. Back in the day, when we were heartbroken, we could avoid the other person and we weren’t bombarded with newsfeeds with their picture having a great time. It is just so much harder. </p>
<p>I was just thinking about this today in a more general sense. I am not going to rant about FB - I have an account and have re-connected with some terrific people. HOWEVER, none of us post the ordinary pics of life or for that matter the sad pics of life. I changed my profile pic today and while it captured a really happy moment it is such a tiny slice of my life. I have a LOT of stress and heartache right now. </p>
<p>So imagine the young person who has just gone thru a break-up and he or she sees pics of ex having a good ol’ time with other people. It just is not easy. </p>
<p>My2Sunz - I once took the train to you know where because I was concerned about my D. I just checked into the local hotel, called her and said I was there, if she wanted to go to dinner, take a bath instead of a shower, sleep in a really nice bed, or just ignore me that was okay. I think she was bowled over by my gesture. She said it wasn’t necessary and I said that was the point.</p>
<p>The night that D and her BF broke up, she changed her status to “Single” and un-friended him. Apparently that way she couldn’t see as many items about him. </p>
<p>BTW, she’s since deleted her fb account altogether. She decided it was too much of a time-waster considering her heavy load this semester. “Nothing important ever happens on facebook,” she said – apparently axiomatic among her friends.</p>
<p>Your husband going up to school is absolutely positively the right thing. And never hesitate to do it whenever you sense your S is feeling down or blue over the break up. </p>
<p>Another thing that worked when one of my kids had a bad break up and thought they might never be happy again, is to tell them emphatically that in time they WILL feel better. Promise it to him.</p>
<p>Finally, doing any little thing for your S that makes him feel special and lets him know that to you and his dad he will always be the most important person on the planet (along with any siblings 
) seems to help too.</p>
<p>Thanks, believersmom. H was there for 2 days and he reported that things seemed to be moving in the right direction. Unfortunately, it’s one step forward, two steps back. He called last night and is upset because ex has been talking him down in their mutual friend group (his main social group) and some seem to have taken sides - with her. He has taken the high road and not talking her down, yet that has backfired (in his mind.) He sounded absolutely morose last night. I told him that these kind of things blow over and to concentrate on other friends and activities and it would get better. He doesn’t seem to “hear” that. Sigh!</p>
<p>my2sunz, that is exactly what happened to my D after she broke up with her 2-year BF last fall (they were at 2 different colleges). I assume you are referring to their friends “talking him down” on FB. Please see my post #19. My D was convinced she had lost all of her friends - that they all hated her because of what they were writing on the sad/angry/pathetic BF’s wall/status. D made no mention of BF on her wall, so no one was writing to support her. She came home at Thanksgiving and ran into a few friends (both male and female) and found out they didn’t hate her after all. </p>
<p>Even if the “talking” is in person, they may just be sympathizing with the ex-GF to make her feel better. If she’s flat-out lying about him, hopefully the friends will see thru that - or the true friends may ask for his side of the story (and of course, if asked, he should tell them the basics of what happened, without a lot of gory details).</p>
<p>my2sunz: my sons have also been through their share of heartbreak. And as hard as it is for them to go through it, I think it’s almost harder for us parents! My son would call me at all hours and pour his heart out…I would listen, offer words of encouragement, listen some more, offer more words of support, and listen some more. Then hang up and want to cry my eyes out!!! At the time it seemed as though the torture would never end, and that he would never be able to move ahead with his life…but he did. And so will your son. Hugs to you mom (and dad)</p>