My BIL passed away this weekend after a long illness. There will not be any kind of service (at his request) and we live far from the family. There are some other immediate family members there (his adult children), but not a lot (maybe 10 total). We want to send something there, but something other than flowers. I looked into some sort of local food delivery (like a platter of sandwiches from a deli or similar) but am not coming up with anything near where they live that delivers. Any suggestions for something to say that we are thinking of them that could be delivered quickly (like today or tomorrow)? I will default to flowers if I have to but thought that others may have a better suggestion. Thanks!
http://www.hickoryfarms.com/gifts/gift-boxes/
You could ship food from a company like this. They have sausage and cheese baskets. Also fruit baskets.
We have sent a gift certificate for a Honey Baked Ham to a relative across the country after her surgery. She appreciated it, and someone locally went and got the ham from the store. (Not sure if this store is nationwide or not. If you have never eaten a Honey Baked Ham, I feel sorry for you . It is a highlight of a holiday party.)
Is there someone there who could help you make it happen? One of the things we most appreciated when FIL died was a big cooler full of sodas and bottled waters that could be kept on the back deck and people could help themselves. Every day, someone would replenish the stock.
Have you tried the deli at their local grocery store? Here we have Central Market and they will deliver sandwich trays
Contact a local catering company. I’m sure they’d be able to arrange a food delivery for you.
My condolences.
Food is always good along with paper goods. It is also good to get a card. When my mother passed away, the cards and small gestures meant so much. Also, gift cards are good so that they do not have to cook. Sorry for your loss.
If you can’t send food, send flowers. What is most important, imho, is they know you are thinking about them while they are in the midst of everything. At least, that has been so very meaningful to me in those circumstances. And I’m not in a position to take a lot of calls.
I agree you might actually just be able to call a local store. My mother called up a local wine shop and had them put together a mixed case for us as a present. The most meaningful thing I have received when my parents passed away were letters with specific stories I had never heard. One from a cousin was about his Dad and my Dad’s joy in a sail they took that was a little bit scarier than they intended. Another cousin told me about my mother coming up and making him be quiet and stop teasing his little brother in bed, in a way only she could do. (She never yelled, but she could make you feel really guilty!)
I don’t know how outgoing the family is. My bil recently passed away also and he was a friendly outgoing guy. With tons of friends. They received so much food. It was great but overwhelming as there wasn’t anywhere to put the food. Everything was overflowing. But like I say, they are outgoing with younger children and he died suddenly.
If my H or I passed away, there would not be an outpouring.
My sister really appreciated donations to a charity her H was involved in. It was best when the donation was made directly to the charity in his name.
Honestly anything you can do to ease any burden to the family is so great and appreciated.
My sister got things like Omaha steaks, which are great for after the crowd leaves. I think the call to a caterer is great also. Or anyplace that delivers. We loved Chinese after a couple of days
Texts were great. Sister had so much to do that texts worked out well. Also texts to the kids, they might be in a better position to know what is needed.
Thank you, all. These are some great ideas. He was a very private person and did not have a wide circle of friends. He was divorced but living with a long-time girlfriend. Even his family is very scattered. So, I don’t have anyone who could help out on that end. I think I will send some flowers to get there today and then find a local restaurant or caterer to either have food delivered or for them to go out. And I also agree about the notes with little stories…I know when my own parents died, these were treasured.
Notes with little annecdotes give a nice little time machine window. Sorry for your loss.
Do you have any special pictures of the deceased with family members (maybe older ones, given the circumstances) that you could blow up, mat & frame and send along? That is something I would really appreciate.
Also I might mention that I was surprised how disappointed I was at how few flowers folks sent to my dad’s service - it was unexpected to feel that way, but there it is (of course, you said there is no service, but I still think flowers are nice).
When my Dad died, friends sent me a basket with flower and ivy plants. The ivy lasted for years and became “Dad’s ivy” and brought back memories every time I watered it. Local florists should be able to put something together and deliver it; I always like living plants better than cut flowers that last a short time. Something like this: https://www.ftd.com/whispers-of-peace-sympathy-basket-prd/ma01/
I had so few friends to acknowledge either my mom or dad that when that any note arrived, it was very welcome.
That is a lovely arrangement, Marilyn. I just found out this morning that a friend’s sister passed away. I am thinking of sending something like that when they return.
I personally can’t stand Hickory Farms. I think they are very overpriced processed food. And usually they are a LOT smaller than in the pictures.
I would suggest looking at the Harry and David site. They have many different kinds of food gifts. I’ve sent those after a death, and they were very appreciated.
Zabars has nice food gifts.
If you are looking to do mail order food/snack assortment, this Philly based company does a very nice job with products a cut above most places: http://www.dibruno.com/gifts/
When my father passed away unexpectedly, a (CC) friend sent a plant to my apartment. I still have the plant. Every time I look at the plant, it still reminds me of my father. Some of my co-workers sent food to my apartment, it all went bad by the time I returned to my apartment.
My parents friends got together to send two huge orchid plants to the funeral home. My mother brought them back to the house after the funeral, and they are still doing very well.
Few years ago, a good friend’s father passed away. I sent her a plant to her apartment instead of to the funeral home. She was very appreciative of the plant when she returned to her place. I also donated money to their favorite charity.
I would stay away from food because it goes bad when there is too much of it.
I would be concerned about food going bad, also. And about freezer space.
Something like a gift basket with wine, chocolate, and crackers or other nibbles would be nice. They can consume the items themselves, or put them out when guests come. maybe there is a local shop that could put one together and deliver it?
Or something like these:
http://www.stonewallkitchen.com/gifts/snacking-gifts/?psortd1=1&psortb1=productType
Powercropper, I got a Honey Baked Ham when my MIL died. Definitely delicious.