<p>Emerald is it possible that your older daughter suffers from anxiety? She seems okay when she is with you, but not so much when she is communicating with you from afar. I wonder why she is okay when you are together but not so much when you aren’t. </p>
<p>I am so glad you have reached this day. You are graceful and elegant and I am so happy you could appreciate the goodness that you observed. I think kids can never have too many people love them. I am glad your daughter has been accepted into her husband’s family with open arms.</p>
<p>At some point she will reach out to your as she matures. There is nothing comparable with the unconditional (and sometimes annoying) love from your own mother. You are loving and she will come to appreciate that one day!</p>
<p>I spoke to H this morning, because I felt like I needed to let out stuff.
He said that he did go on to stress, that I did the bulk of the parenting, but i admit before that point, I stopped listening.
He let me vent and cry a little and that helped.
Then we had lunch at food carts with both Ds, and some of her friends that were still in town. ( younger Ds boyfriend had to go back to work, so he left before us)
I told older D before lunch, she was giving me mixed messages which was confusing & but later it seemed like she was trying.
I also told her we would be back in August ( taking H to see Tom Petty)& she seemed fine with that.</p>
<p>It was really a beautiful ceremony and party, but I think I also was wistful. If my inlaws had welcomed me even half as warmly as Ds have welcomed her, our life would have been smoother. But I think we all have varying degrees of anxiety, it seems to overlap with ADD or OCD behavior. When you are paying attention to everything, its easy to feel anxious - theres always something to worry about.
I think she had been very nervous about the party ( part of why I have a small house, is because I dont do well with people in my space- so she hasn’t gotten many hostess skills from me)
But it went very well, and Im sure that made her relax.</p>