<p>I ask because my D has told her dad he can wear whatever, when he asked if he needed a suit.
But he doesnt even have chinos (that arent pleated )and is liable to wear a Hawaiian shirt with jeans, which would be Ok, except D posted a picture of Patrick Stewart doing a tea-party character & said that is how she sees her dad.
I feel like we are the uneducated, poor relatives & she is ashamed of us. ( we arent poor, but compared to her friends who attended private colleges & her inlaws, we are less educated/wealthy)
I can’t control how she feels, but I can have some control over how we * present*.</p>
<p>I know my youngest will look stunning, because she looks like a model anyway, so I am not worried about her.
I need to know what do I do with my legs?
It is liable to be hot (ish) and my legs arent bad, but I have a 5"-6" vertical scar that is only a year old across my knee.
I dont want to wear pantyhose, but I dont know what length dress to wear.
I was actually thinking longer dress, because then I can sit on the ground if not enough chairs.
(I’m 5’2)
I will wear a sleeveless dress if I have to, but only if I can find a cute sweater or jacket for coverup.
I do actually have things that would work fine, but something about your oldest getting married calls for new clothes, I think.
:)</p>
<p>How about a tea length dress? It’s a flattering length on many. Get a sundress style dress and a little jacket or sweater to wear with it. NO nylons. Wear comfortable sandals.</p>
<p>I have a cotton print dress, that I really like, that is kind of a " fit & Flare" dress with buttons down the front and probably comes to the bottom of my kneecap.
It also has elbow length sleeves!
I could always take the money to spend on a dress and buy some shoes and a mani-pedi. But a pedicure will not make me have pretty feet. ( I have short stubby toes- I lust after sexy shoes but they will never be mine)
I wonder if I paid for us all to have a mani pedi, we could do it while oldest is up for her sisters graduation, the week before.</p>
<p>How about pant suits? Not the business suits. There are light colored elegant pant suits. At an outdoor party we once went, a woman wore a pink pant suits. It fit the occasion perfectly, better than a dress. It was an elegant party.</p>
<p>Pants might work. Especially considering it sounds like it will be picnic blankets, according to H.
I used to wear raw silk pants with a silk crocheted sweater, the sweater bit the dust years ago, but a similar outfit with loose silk pants and a long tunic, like a Salwar Kameez could be striking.
Youngest even brought back several, a few years ago. I have a pretty turquoise tunic, which I would have to wear something underneath since it is very sheer, but it would look good with white linen or silk pants to match the pearl sequins.
Great idea, I wasnt even thinking pants because i usually just wear jeans or hiking capris.<br>
And then H could wear his shirt D had made for him when she was in India. </p>
<p>How about a nice chiffony maxi dress, sleeveless with a little shrug. If it is too hot you take the shrug off, if it is too cold put it back on. You get some air up your skirt, so to speak, so that helps cool you down in the sun, but your legs are covered to keep warm after sundown.</p>
<p>I wore a dress like that for DDs outdoor wedding and it was perfect. Though after dark despite the fire, everyone was chilly.</p>
<p>Even though it’s a casual reception, IMO the mother of the bride should be a bit more pulled together than the average guest. I’ve been to several casual weddings and people still dress up…just because it is a wedding and weddings are super special.</p>
<p>I told my Ds that I will die if they plan an outdoor wedding. Everything we plan ends up in downpours. I’m getting hives just thinking about this.</p>
<p>Congratulations, though, Emeraldkity! I think the last we heard, you weren’t sure you would be going to the wedding. I’m so happy for you! </p>
<p>I agree that it should be a special outfit but I do like the pantsuit idea!</p>
<p>D emphasized to her dad that it’s not a wedding ( they were married in January), it is a backyard picnic with sitting on picnic blankets.
I would like to attend, but since D has not responded to me since she asked me to find hotels and I sent what I could to her, I am angry and hurt at the way she continues to treat me and at my Hs refusal to ask her to clarify to me if she even wants me there.
I’m trying to plan for the miracle that she has a change of heart, because I don’t know what else I can do.
I expect I will be put in charge of the dog and will be doing a lot of walking with him around the neighborhood.
So I’m keeping in mind good shoes.
:)</p>
<p>Emerald, we are about the same height. I would wear a mid-calf or ankle length cotton dress with a waist line, in a very small floral print and a flat shoe, not sandal. Because I’m very cold-natured I prefer a sleeve and collar and carry a light-weight cotton sweater. And a pretty straw hat. That is my garden party/picnic look.</p>
<p>I don’t know what your budget is, so I looked at ebay. Here are my ideas:</p>
<p>You are not the “poor, uneducated” relatives unless you continue to allow yourself to think that way! As for clothes, you or your H can eventually find out what the other parents and the couple will be wearing, ask for a seat for you because of your recent surgery, and expect that someone else will be taking care of the dog. Strained relationship or no, you aren’t the hired help. </p>
<p>If D asked you to research hotels, it seems likely to me you are going to be invited. Have the invitations gone out yet? Maybe she wants to send the message that you are just a guest and will find out with everyone else. </p>
<p>As for H, under the circumstances, he should not get ahead of himself or make any demands or threats, but his attendance should certainly be contingent on yours. Among many other things, not to invite you would be disrespectful of him, and for him to attend solo would be very unsupportive of you. That said, I don’t know why H refuses to even ask the question. Has D threatened that she’ll uninvite him if he so much as mentions your name before she’s decided? </p>
<p>You will have plenty of time to find outfits, but I agree with gourmetmom that as MOB yours could be a little nicer than the average guest’s, even for a backyard picnic reception. Wedge sandals or peep toes are good for grass. </p>
<p>I like gourmetmom’s pick, with a nice light shawl or something of that nature. Low wedge black espadrilles would be comfortable and good for walking on grass, but give you a little height. I would be a little concerned about the size of the print on someone who is 5’2", though.</p>
<p>I would take a look at the clothes by Eileen Fisher, and possibly Tahari. Eileen Fisher uses beautiful fabrics and easy shapes that can be dressed up or down. Something like raw silk pants with a lightweight top/sweater in a lovely color or a neutral to which you can add jewelry would be nice.</p>
<p>gourmetmom, I REALLY LIKE THAT DRESS, BUT EK has mentioned being large breasted and 5’2". I’d love to see that print in a sleeveless, more A-line for her.</p>
<p>No time now, but it is fun to shop on-line for others. </p>
</p>