What will College be like for a shy/reserved student like me?

<p>It's not so much that I'm shy, once I get to know people I'm very open and usually fun to be with, always looking to go out and do something. But I have a real hard time talking to people I don't know, taking the first step, being the one to take initiative in becoming friends with someone. Like groups of people overwhelm me too much for me to try to include myself in them, I only feel comfortable talking to one individual person at first, and then immersing into a group. And even that is hard for me sometimes.</p>

<p>Will College therefore be a tough time for me at first, being that I might be going to a school where no one I know is going?</p>

<p>It will not necessarily be tough for you. Many colleges, especially small ones that attract students from a wide geographic area, make a real effort to conduct a freshman orientation week designed to help students get to know one another. They use techniques that get students talking one-on-one and in small groups.
I would urge you to share your concerns with your high school counselor or other trained counselor. He/she can suggest techniques to help you feel more comfortable.</p>

<p>Even if you become a hermit and spend all of your time in your dorm, you'll still run into people at the dining hall, in clubs, in class, etc. It's impossible not to meet and connect with people in college.</p>

<p>Yes, i'm thinking that I might try and get involved in a few clubs to help me out and interact with people I might have a lot in common with. Thanks smorgasbord, that really raises my hopes a bit.</p>

<p>Most people tell me that college is different than High School in that students in college really do want to get to know each other for the most part, and are open minded, and it's easy to become friends with people. But I don't know why I can't help but see it like most of high school, people ignoring me for the most part, and it being really hard to get into a group of friends.</p>

<p>I'm the same way. Think of it that way. Most of your fellow students are like that to. Whether it is your roommate, classmate, someone you meet at the gym, someone in the same club as you etc.. There are COUNTLESS opportunities to meet great new people. Don't think of it as this awkward moment where you go up to a random person and ask to be friends. It will just happen.</p>

<p>That's true yes, but people sort of told me the same thing when I moved to America and went into my Junior year, and it wasn't all that simple. In two years I indeed made a few friends, if we're going to talk about real friends I'd hang out with in and out of school I'd say 3-4 people, but overall I've been pretty "solitary" talking to people, but never really becoming "friends" with them. If that makes sense to anyone?</p>

<p>Keep you door open, especially for the first couple of months. It is easiest to meet people in the first couple months, before people settle down into their circle of friends.</p>

<p>Thanks, I'll have to keep that in mind. I wish I wasn't so dysfunctional, social-wise.</p>

<p>Your description reminded me of myself. I'm talkative and lively with my close friends, but it takes me a while to form good friendships and I don't do well in groups of people.</p>

<p>My first year away at college was a bit rough. I had trouble forming good friendships, and ended up spending a lot of time on the weekends entertaining myself. Now that I'm in my second year, I've formed some closer friendships and generally am more happy socially.</p>

<p>So, at least in my case, the transition can take some time, but you will find the right people eventually. Getting involved in extracurriculars will definitely help; it has led to some of my best friendships, and it'll make it easier to break the ice and form friendships because you'll have something in common to talk about right off the bat.</p>

<p>If you make an effort, then you'll most likely not have issues making friends. Some people do, but I really wouldn't worry about it.</p>

<p>Just make an effort to go to Welcome Week activities and talk to people on your hallway. At the very least, leave your door open during the first week and then if you see someone else's door open, you should just stop by and introduce yourself.</p>

<p>I personally think the hardest part is meeting even one person to hang out with. Once you meet one person, then meeting other people is easier. I now just meet people all of the time from the friends that I've made here in my classes, my dorm, and clubs.</p>

<p>One good thing about college is its intensity: when you meet people, you can become friends very quickly because of your close proximity. You'll see people walking to the shower, hanging out in sweatpants, watching TV, and in all kinds of other contexts you wouldn't have seen them in high school. This means that if you meet even just one or two people you like, you can become friends very quickly.</p>

<p>Transferring into a school where most people know each other is very different than going to a school where most everybody is new; yes, it can be hard to find friends during the first semester-ish, but it'll be a lot easier than your current situation because you'll all be looking for friends.</p>

<p>It'll be much easier to find friends when you first get in than later on. People are more open to meeting others and haven't quite stratified into their social spheres yet. Don't be afraid to talk to people as a freshman.</p>

<p>Thank you for the great advice guys! I feel much better about this now. I lack of confidence in myself, so it's sometimes hard, but I'll make an effort to be as friendly and open as possible, and hopefully it'll work out like you all say :)</p>

<p>Yes, it will definitely be a tough time at first. Everyone who's posted above is not like you and has no idea what it's like to be shy and reserved. It's so different that they couldn't imagine what it feels like. I wouldn't like you to feel overly glum about it, but the posters above will definitely make you feel overly optimistic.</p>

<p>Well I'm hoping that if I jump into the experience with an optimistic view on the situation and experience, it might make it all a bit easier for me. Maybe I can overcome the shyness and lack of confidence, and start "randomly" going up to people, and engaging in conversations...</p>

<p>I think the beauty of college is that you really do have an opportunity to completely reinvent yourself, especially if you are going to an out of area school. </p>

<p>Now, obviously being shy is an element of your character so it's not as simple as just saying, I'M AN EXTROVERT NOW *****, but this summer seriously think about reinventing yourself as a person. Ever single freshman is in the same position as you; there is no pecking order, no defined social groups, you have the opportunity to run in and make friends with anyone you see. And if you're nice and relaxed, you're guaranteed to make REAL friends.</p>

<p>I had a really optimistic view when I started college.</p>

<p>First semester ended, I have no solid friends lol.</p>

<p>Don't end up crushed like me.</p>

<p>Sometimes it takes a while--I had friends my first year of college, but didn't make the friendships that I'm confident will still exist ten years from now until late March, early September, and late September 2011. (Three different people.) That's pretty much a semester and a half. I hope you all get lucky and find your bffls right away, but tons of people don't find great groups until rather later, which is completely normal.</p>

<p>I'm kind of in the same position. I try to be sociable but it could be a bit awkward and wired. I have yet to find my nitch at my school and I really don't hang around people in my dorm because like you I'm reserved and their not. I'm transferring any way but that won't be until another year. I really hate sitting all alone but really I do hangout with one guy but he goes to a different school. Any advice for me ?</p>