I orgaized lunch with 4 others. One of them had to cancel. Normally, the rest of us would just meet. This time the person who had to cancel is the common friend to the rest of us. Without this friend, we are almost strangers. I know them but not close. Would you still go ahead or reschedule?
I would reschedule in that circumstance, unless you feel a desire to forge independent friendships with these women. If you like the status quo, nothing wrong with a reschedule.
I’d reschedule if you feel the lunch would be awkward without that individual.
It depends. If you want to get to know these other people well, it might be OK to have the lunch without your connection.
Do you know the others? Do they know each other at all? Life shouldn’t revolve around one person. Was lunch supposed to be a chance for all to see the one friend? If an excuse for people to go out to lunch with nice people keep it and schedule yet another lunch when the mutual friend can make it. Two lunches out!
We are curious- let us know the outcome.
We’re talking about friends here, not relatives. Totally different if its an activity where the one relative you really like cancels and you would be stuck with the rest without them.
I had that happen once. The others in the group declined so I didn’t have to make that decision.
It’s a tough one.
Was there an intended purpose for this lunch or just chit-chat? I would keep it open and give it a shot.
If you already have issues with the others, it would change my math, but if it is just that you don’t know each other well, spread your wings!
Reschedule, unless you wanted to get to know the others directly.
As others said, it depends on if the purpose was to get to know the others. In some ways it is even better to not have the common friend around because it makes you find more common ground with the others and not everything will be focused on her in the conversation. I doubt your friend would be friends with the other three if they weren’t nice people. It’s like vetted strangers. Besides, it’s only lunch!
If it’s people who share an interest, then I’d keep the lunch because that’s something to talk about that is outside of the common friend.
I’d just keep it, really. You organized it, if you cancel it makes the others feel like the only reason you were having them for lunch was because of the friend who canceled-I would not say yes to another lunch invite from you if this happened and I was one of the “other” friends.
If you organized it then I think you should go ahead and keep your plans.
It is just a few hours and hopefully will be enjoyable.
I am not trying to be rude. I am always up for lunch with anyone. It’s just that if everyone was coming to catch up with the person who cancelled, I may be doing them a favor by calling it off. I guess the polite thing to do would be let everyone know the person cancelled but that I’ll be there if if anyone wants to come for lunch.
See how the others feel. Put it up for a vote. Give them a quick call… Hey, X can’t make it, so i’m calling to see if you’d rather reschedule or go ahead. Figured I’d just take a vote and see where people were at, cause I’m happy to host and also happy to reschedule if that’s better for you guys. Just be friendly. I’m sure the others will be empathetic and will appreciate being kept in the loop. If everyone unanimously just wants to reschedule…you’re home free. If you’ve got a few that want to meet…it won’t be as awkward because people will know what to expect. Nothing wrong with communicating.
Wasn’t this a Seinfeld episode? Elaine, Jerry, and George were supposed to go to the movies. Jerry canceled. Elaine and George felt uncomfortable going together because they were “friends-in-law.”
@brantly – Lol. So much in life is a Seinfeld episode 