Whatever happened to good old-fashioned “gut instincts”?

I understand the stress involved and importance of making such a potentially life-altering decision such as choosing a college. At the same time, I’m amazed at the number of posts here that ask (basically) strangers for advice on:

  • which college they should attend
  • what they should study
  • if they’re in a toxic relationship
    … and so on.

I guess what I’m driving at is that many of these “questions” and requests for advice seem more like a need for validation veiled as questions. Maybe it’s me but I’m starting to believe that social media is leading to the decay of common sense and intuition/instinct (along with the many other problems it causes).

Sorry that is your opinion. Many people on CC have been here for years. When they offer suggestions, they mean well, based on years of experience and no skin in the game.

Because gut instincts are often wrong.

I worked in an area these last several months with and for folks who had made so many bad decisions. And paid terribly for them. Never have I heard so many people tell me how they go by their “gut instincts”.

I agree with @BivalentChomps that it’s sometimes pretty distressing to see how many people seem to be making major personal decisions replying heavily on the advice of total strangers. It’s not like you need a certificate to post here and give advice - one member could be providing sound information and another slinging total horse hockey. Most of the posters asking questions haven’t been on here for years - so how are they supposed to know who to listen to? I’ve seen some terrible advice given on CC so it’s not like everyone here is a genius. IMO this is a great resource for supplementary information. The advice and info you get from CC should be a supplement to information from sources you know and trust - and yes, your own intuition is one of those sources, along with your own personal research/analysis and feedback from your community, family and other “counselors”.

@bookworm No offense intended; I’m not talking about the people offering the advice at all - I’m talking about the folks asking the questions.

Granted I’ve only started really looking through posts religiously over the past 10 months or so since my daughter is now graduating, but I think the community here in general is extremely kind and helpful.

I don’t know if its simply kindness and tolerance, or if it’s that people are so quick to jump in to offer advice - but when reading some of the questions I stop and I think - how can someone go through years of prep, research and process, work their way down to a handful of schools, then honestly post a question like “Should I go to Harvard, Yale or Brown?” Or, “My roommate here at Bucknell is selling meth and has stolen $500 from me - should I tell someone?”

Doesn’t anyone here ever feel like responding “You’re kidding with this question, right?”

Obviously I’m not referring to EVERY question asked here, just these types of head-scratchers.

Sadly, I think some folks are pretty isolated and don’t feel they have a good community to chat with about things that are important to them and that they’re hoping for “impartial, unbiased” advice. Sometimes they may feel they are too close to the situation or that the people close to them may have biases that will unduly affect any advice given.

It’s nice for folks who have a nearby real or virtual community they can turn to who “knows” them well and can give honest, objective advice. Sadly, it seems like a lot of folks don’t have such resources.

Am I the only one who notices the irony of the OP asking total strangers their opinions on his question? ?

I honestly don’t think it’s awful that people look to each other to hash through complex, important questions and decisions.

I understand someone might feel differently; just not sure it makes sense to be on this site, that being the case. But as @Lindagaf says, here you are! :slight_smile:

CC is actually a wonderful public service. So many people with limited experience and less resources can come here and post questions without shame. It’s a resource.

Sure, there are some “choice” posts simply seeking validation. However, I try to think of them as perhaps super kids without a lot of other social outlets. This is their crowning achievement and want to feel special. It’s the posters debating the fine points of the decision set that can be pretty comical.

My only honest suggestion would be change your example and have the meth dealer be from Harvard and the choice between Bucknell Yale and brown.

But stand back.

Also it will be fun to count how many posts it takes to get a Greek life comment. lol.

Looks like it was 8.

@garland. Now that is funny!!!

??

:slight_smile:

Sometimes it’s hard to trust the gut instinct. We’re currently struggling with it tonight as we wrestle with the final college decision. It’s true that you can’t always judge the quality of an opinion, but they might bring up a point you haven’t considered.

And sometimes you can see patterns. Like when you read reviews for dishwashers. Yeah, there are always a few people who had a bad experience. There are always people who love everything. And then, in between, if enough people say the noise drove them nuts, or it broke at the 3 month mark, well, you start to think there might be something to that.

@Trixy34 Good luck !

Sounds to me you’re making an informed and well researched decision. The opposite of gut instinct. Still really hard.

But at some point you have turn left or right at the end of the road and keep on truckin’.

What are the last two or three?

@privatebanker - Hobart & William Smith (incredibly good merit aid deal) vs. Vanderbilt (a little more, but still well within budget) If it had been a month ago, he’d be deposited to Vandy. But since Vanderbilt waitlisted him, he spent the month of April deciding between the rest of his choices, and he has already begun to envision himself at HWS. He has only had since this afternoon, when we got the correct financial aid amount from Vanderbilt, to wrestle with the decision and needs to pull the trigger by tomorrow morning.

His 14 year-old sister was actually incredibly helpful in guiding his decision-making process. Perhaps she has a career as a consultant ahead of her. Lol.

Good luck. Love Hobart and Vandy is fantastic. And the financial picture is good. Phew. Tough choice.

@Lindagaf
Touché…
Of course, I’m asking for opinions on a thought I had, not for advice on a choice hat will alter the course of my future but your point is well taken and clever!

@privatebanker - thanks. I think the decision is made, he has just been instructed to sleep on it and see if it still feels good in the morning. Basically, trust his gut. Lol.

?

What’s wrong with just needing validation?

I’ve been here now for almost half of my life and honestly, I trust their opinions about things as much as many people in my “real” face-to-face life.

Sometimes my gut instincts suck. Sometimes, my gut instincts are right on.

Example: a few years back, I was having major stomach issues but the doctor kept saying it was no big deal. I had a gut feeling it was my gallbladder but the doc wouldn’t listen. So, I brought it up to CC and they validated my concerns and it was off to the ER I went. Several hours, an emergency surgery, and several scars on my stomach are proof that CC was right and it was the validation I needed. Otherwise I would’ve thought I was just being a hypochondriac.