<p>I really really think it is best to give nothing. The merest hint that you think it is something like a service that should be somehow compensated will be a big insult.</p>
<p>Some time in future you may have a chance to do a favor for them.</p>
<p>I completely agree with sorghum. If I were this man, and I recieved a gift card or fruit basket or something like that after including the OP’s S in this family activity, I would be highly embarrassed and NOT want to include him again.</p>
<p>Now, if when Thanksgiving rolled around, I received a loaf of cranberry orange tea bread with a note that said, “Thanks so much to you and your family for including S,” or if the second time S came over he brought a plate of homemade Toll House cookies, that would feel fine. Because that is the kind of gift that one family gives another. It implies a PEER relationship, not a service relationship. (And frankly I do not believe that there is a person so cooking-challenged that they could not produce either of those items.)</p>
<p>CuriousJane, you probably feel differently about this because you make a living tutoring. He does not. I spent a LOT of time a few years ago helping a friend’s son with his college application essays. When he decided where to go, he sent me a card and a little teddy bear wearing the school’s sweatshirt. That was nice. If she had sent me a gift card right after I first worked with him, it would have felt like payment and would have made me uncomfortable. (I used to be a professional writer/editor, but I was doing this as a favor for a friend, not for payment. If she had asked me to create literature for her business, then I would have expected her to pay me.)</p>
<p>I second Sorghum amd Consolations position. Bring nothing the first time; if invited back, bring along some cookies or cake…</p>
<p>If you are that cooking challenged, perhaps a local farmers market or farm store would have fresh baked goods that taste homemade.</p>
<p>I’m really following this thread as I’m in a similar situation. In this case, the tutor is a close friend of a family member. The tutoring is turning out to be a couple times a week and may go on indefinitely. The tutor refuses to accept payment but I know it’s an imposition.</p>
<p>I’m planning to go with a thank you note every week or so with a gift card enclosed for a market that she likes to shop at. What do you all think?</p>
<p>Karen, I think you need to have a heart to heart with the tutor and if you REALLY don’t feel comfortable accepting the services indefinitely without payment, tell him/her. I tend to think that if the person REALLY doesn’t want payment then they are saying it isn’t an imposition and their feelings should be honored. Again, sending the kid with a homemade gift periodically would work well. A gift card at Christmas/Channukah could be acceptable.</p>
<p>I’d have to know more about the specifics of your situation.</p>
<p>Thirding Sorgum and Consolation. If he goes again, have him take some baked goods to “share.”</p>