<p>I was a CC regular for a couple years until my first daughter settled on her college priorities a year ago. I always appreciated how positive, supportive and helpful the CC community was, and I learned a great deal from it.</p>
<p>After about a year away, I’m back at CC researching options for daughter #2, and I’m struck by how much the tone of the posters I’m reading has changed. I’m seeing a lot of arrogance, scolding, trash-talking, belittling and downright ugliness. Am I imagining this? My first daughter had a strong focus in one particular area, so perhaps I was getting the benefit of a smaller, cohesive group that shared the same interest a year ago. . . or not - have behaviors in fact changed?</p>
<p>I’m a student…From my 10+ years of internet experience, I’d say that it’s a phenomenon that happens on internet forums all over. In addition to the close-knit community giving way to more and more members joining and diluting the intimacy of discussions, things just get old. And the older the forum gets, the more veterans on the forum that have seen everything. You can only have so many “what are my chances?” or “what should I bring to college?” topics before you get tired of them. Then people usually go off topic or hope for something new and refreshing that never comes.</p>
<p>I am glad to hear this hasn’t always been this way. I lurked looking at grad schools for D#1. I was shocked to see that people could tell the chances of admission just from numbers of a HS soph. Even the kids know what “sells” and what doesn’t and they delight, it seems, in telling others.
I thought after getting two DDs accepted into 2 great schools (and D#2 rejected by some who were not as good) that I had it all figured out…IT’S A CRAP SHOOT. A GIANT PLINKO GAME. But mine ended up where they belonged.
After reading this board, I am surprised either D even got in anywhere!BTW my Ds were competitive Irish dancers and those msg boards about the competitions and costumes get really nasty with names, etc regarding children and families. I think it’s part of the culture to be nasty when it’s not face-to-face. The kids are used to facebook and myspace.
What are you looking for as far as a school for your D? If you’re interested in the Northeast, I’ve looked at lots of schools up here. But as far as numbers go, my kids used collegeboard search and we fit in visits with dance competitions!</p>
<p>Maybe it’s just because schools are getting more competitive…and this forum has become more popular, so more immature people are getting on. Generally when people “bash” others, it is a joke or because they are mean, and so it shouldn’t be taken to heart when considering one’s chances. </p>
<p>But for those that are serious when informing fellow CCers, it is something to consider. College Confidential - Raising the Bar.</p>
<p>I agree with ucbhi, you should see how snarky livejournal gets.
I also don’t venture out of the parents forum although I did head over to see the “die,parents die” , thread</p>
<p>My kids don’t get on education message boards- at all, except for ones only aimed at their school community and you should see the comments that upperclassmen give to the incoming freshmen who are desperate to get their school email address so they can get on facebook( or atleast so they can get on facebook to make thier other friends happy)</p>
<p>On the Parents board, perhaps some of the perceived change is merely long time contributors trying to add a different perspective. After responding in a number of “So what are my chances” threads I gave up with “You have a strong record but you list is top heavy and filled with schools that are a crap shoot for everyone” and started making observations like “It’s hard for me to see what kind of school you’re looking for when Cal Tech and Penn are both on your list.” I can see where some might interpret the latter response as arrogant, snippy, negative, etc. when all I’m trying to do is get the student to focus a little.</p>
<p>The tone has definitely shifted. Back in the mini/marite heydey, before the format change, the feel was more congenial, at least on the Parent boards. Of course, there were far fewer posters then. Still, as far as internet message boards go, the discussion here is still pretty thoughtful.</p>
<p>Good points, all. Ucbhi, your assessment is excellent and makes so much sense that I’m certain you have it nailed down. In fact, I think that you’re explaining a phenomenon that’s not unique to internet forums. It’s probably the typical pattern of entropy in any cultural setting once the founders inevitably give way to the inheritors and then take a step back. Maybe that’s a big part of what attracts us as aficionados of the college experience - perhaps its built-in four-year life cycle and constant participant turnover holds cynicism at bay and keeps the enthusiasm from dying out with the charter members.</p>
<p>Many regulars retreated from the kid boards, though some still contribute to their alma mater or their child’s school forums. Among the regulars, the political positions are fairly clear by now. A kind of shorthand exists. One bonus: fewer race debates. Those were so tiresome in the days of old.</p>
<p>There is less personal exchange–except on Sinner’s Alley where a newcomer wouldn’t know what to think. Many of the regulars now have kids attending univeristy. They refrain from giving out too much private information that could get back to their child. </p>
<p>Also notable, while most frequent poster-gatherers stay around to assist newbies, there have been gatherers who skedaddled once they picked up the prize. I don’t remember that from late 2003.</p>
<p>I like the Parent Cafe becuase you can post all day long and not send your post total into the stratosphere. (Cafe posts aren’t counted in total).</p>
<p>I am really glad to see this topic as well. I have actually seen threads that, I fear, could drive kids away from applying to a particular college. This because the topic of this thread was about attitudes on campus towards members of the different divisions of a particualr student body. I am sure that if a prospective student or the parent of one saw that thread, they would not want to consider going to school within that environment (though my kid attends there and it is NOT like that at all!). </p>
<p>The point I am trying to make is that it seemes that there are particular posters on that forum that are just waiting out there to “bash” someone rather than attempting to dialogue or really offer any real advice/helpful information. If I know someone looking to go to that school, I am not going to suggest CC as a source of information to them…</p>
<p>ANDREW: You’re right about Irish dancing message boards. That’s usually one person posting a million times, though. It would be tougher to do that here.</p>
<p>I’m curious about the dancing. Did your kids use it to write essays, discuss it on interviews, or see it have any posititve effect on admissions?</p>
<p>I just want to add that overall, though, I am glad to see what I think is a slight shift in the range of kids whose parents are on here. I think it used to feel like only very, very high level kids were represented. Now it feels like there is much more of a mix.</p>
<p>I am aware of the thread that ChurchMM is referring to. There has been much back and forth on the issue between students and parents. I think the parents exaserbate the problem by continually being argumentative (after all, they are the adults) with the students. The students would have been happy to let the issue die, but the parents seem to want to prove their point by posting paragraphs from the college catalogs and websites supporting their claims. The students are expressing their feelings based on their experiences. I think it’s fair to say that trying to win an argument with a teenager is not an easy task and often these arguments turn ugly. This discussion thread, by the way, didn’t even take place on the college forum of the parent posters’ children.</p>
<p>I know my post count makes me look like a n00b, but I was a member here for over a year and accumulated 1500+ posts before having to reregister.</p>
<p>It surprises me sometimes how angry people get. Maybe I’m just pathologically nonconfrontational, but I find it unsettling how quick people are to start spewing vicious ad hominem remarks at each other instead of settling for a polite disagreement. It creates such an uncomfortable atmosphere, and in most cases it just seems really unnecessary.</p>
<p>FWIW, I don’t even click on the chances threads anymore. To be honest, I think they’re the worst feature of this forum.</p>
<p>camelia:
I totally agree about the chances thread. If kids really want to know their chances they need to do real research - visit the school web site, go to College Board or the data sheets, or, failing those, email the admissions office and ask what the last freshman class profile was. Throwing it out to there people who frequently know NOTHING, or are just going on hearsay, is not helpful at all.</p>
<p>The chances thread is, yes, horrible for students, as they are trashed constantly. I mainly hang out on the UChicago board, though, as I will be attending there in the fall. Students do occasionally post their chances, and everyone has been very gracious and helpful but also blatantly honest, which is refreshing. Different parts of CC have different personalities.</p>