How will my kid eat after he/she graduates??
Was it cost not being discussed?
I agree that this is a lot of conversation over what may be a moot point. (As has so often been mentioned - people succeed or don’t succeed from every possible background) I just thought it could be nice if we respected each other’s choices.
“Let’s talk tattoos” was my favorite thread title on the 1st page of law school forum. Just saying- a fun surprise
Sorry @ManVan - I started the thread to move this particular conversation away from your fantastic wrap up of your son’s college career and his first job after graduating. I hated that attention was being drawn away from his talent and accomplishments. But this was obviously a topic people have strong opinions about.
The reason so much energy is spent this issue is because it is a question that many must weigh before making their college decision. I agree with @toowonderful, the right choice is what is right for your family. But realize it’s a HUGE concern for those with a choice if they decide to turn down a well known, successful program for whatever reason. Mainly because the rest of the world seems to be saying to them - how can you turn down that opportunity? And it makes you second guess yourself if you have decided to turn down a better known program In favor of a lesser known program. As seen here, again, I think the answer is very individual. The best advice is probably: Go where you will get good training, in a school where you will be happy at a cost that you are comfortable with. And don’t worry what anyone else thinks. As long as you are confident in your choice and are happy with your choice, other opinions should not matter. What people hope to avoid 10 years from now is that nagging “what if” - what if I went to CCM or CMU or Michigan instead of the school I chose, even if the big name wasn’t a good fit for me … Would I be cast more now? Would I have gotten better training? Would I be happy? Those are the things one worries about when they opt for the less well known school. Too bad we don’t all have a crystal ball that can give us those answers
@vnstar I think it was very thoughtful to separate this from ManVan’s thread. Thank you! 
Lots of people (including, obviously myself) have very strong opinions on brand/money/education., and ManVan’s post about his son’s success should not have been muddled by these.
I don’t know about the law school forum, but this thread about Harvard seems to be more or less the same questions being discussed here ( (“How important is a ‘name’ school? Is it more important than ‘fit’? Is it worth going into debt over?” etc. etc.): http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/harvard-university/1765223-why-do-so-many-try-for-harvard.html
Rip! Rip! Rip, those Chipmunks - off - the - field! Oops, sorry. Got carried away. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Cost is an important factor in any college decision. I don’t think enough parents sit down with their kids, crunch the numbers, talk about the ROI, and how loan debt will impact future decisions like getting married, buying a house, having a family. There is a practical side of all of this. I want my kids to have a full life in all respects.
This is a discussion forum. It’s all good. I like sharp opinions. It makes for good reading and challenges me. I like it.
Plus…money (particularly debt) is a huge (maybe the) issue:
We went all-in for the out-of-state school. BTW, we’d be in the same debt situation if our son had gone to UC to be, say, a Speech Therapist, or an Accounting Major. It just so happened he picked the highest-stakes profession to major in.
Likewise, @ManVan, I would have been willing to have paid the same or borrowed the same had my kid gone to the state U or a little known college and/or majored in anything. So, my investment and loans were not about the name of the school or related to the chosen major. We left the choice of schools or majors up to our kids. That was our choice, but doesn’t mean I don’t respect others’ choices.
When I researched programs for my D, I must admit that the name of the school wasn’t driving my search. My husband and I have been in the biz for over twenty years and have been surrounded on set by those without theatre degrees (like me and H) and those with BA/ BFAs from various places. We all had the same SAG card.
I knew that a theatre degree wasn’t necessary to be an actor. I wanted my D to go away to college for the overall education, the “bridge” experience between dependent and independence and I felt that her talent would only be enhanced by almost any further theatrical training above what she’d had already (which wasn’t much at all).
I do understand that certain schools may have access to better contacts than others. That also wasn’t an issue I worried about. Right now, I’m trying to make sure she takes advantage of every learning possibility at school (have 2 credits available, why not take piano?) and every working opportunity she can get her hands on.
Dang it, the piano won’t fit. What do you mean you didn’t sign up for tech AND directing your classmate’s show?
Seriously, just learning how to get sleep, clean laundry, photos printed and food in the stomach a few times a day is huge. Figuring all that out in a relatively safe campus environment, while learning skills of the craft is worth its weight in ticket stubs.
No kidding @mom4bwayboy !! Your post made me laugh-- so true. It’s THAT what college is about, too? Makes them grow up fast! Heck-- my kid’s school doesn’t have a food plan, so he’s had to shop and cook for himself this first year, too. But, he knew that going in…and on the flip side he’s learning to navigate and live in a foreign city and travel internationally. (The cooking part has been a bit rough on him…he’s ready for mom’s home-cooking during summer break.)
My S is always sending me photos of the stuff he’s cooking. It looks REALLY good.
My D hosted a “dinner party” in her room this weekend - super cute
The lives of my unmarried childless actor friends who don’t own real estate are perfectly full. Also, their relatively unencumbered lifestyles enable them to exercise much greater freedom in terms of when and where they work. (Debt is a portable encumbrance). For example, moving with a Broadway show to the West End, workshopping a new musical a thousand miles away, taking regional theatre gigs - all of these are far more easily managed without children and property to tend.
We, of course, want our young adults to close as few doors as possible and maintain future freedom of choice. At the same time, some sacrifices are worth making. These (including post-grad debt service) can only be measured on the most personal of scales. No other family’s decisions will necessarily mirror your own. Your own are evident enough to your kid. That won’t make them his.
The marriage/children/house definition of a full life may not fit your kid, and for an actor is seldom possible without significant professional sacrifice, in any case. Choosing the best school for him, even if that will require loans, may be the sacrifice your kid prefers to make. Avoiding debt in order to finance a conventional future is exactly the wrong decision for some.
So types the actor who married an actor, had children and owns a home, fully aware that her kid headed to BFA may not see any of that as desirable. His goals are his to set and his sacrifices can only be his if he chooses them.
My S’ s dorm has a kitchen in the lower level. I have been very impressed with the culinary skills of some of these kids! They have themed meals every so often (chili and spaghetti nights) and the guys are bringing their A game. I hope the “gotta learn to cook” carries over to the part of the summer my S will be home! Learning to cook is never a wasted skill
Kudos to all your boys who are learning to cook. S will have to learn how to cook at his summer stock gig this year. Or get really skinny and learn what it’s like to dance/rehearse/perform/set-strike when you’re famished. Right now, his “jumbo” meal plan, dining dollars AND flex dollars are his best friends.
And I agree, @vocal1046 - our kids’ career successes may entail “unconventional” sacrifices. Or not. They’ll have to figure it out.
My boy has been cooking for years, loves to! (I think that’s probably because his father does all the cooking to wind down at the end of the day.) On his housing form he requested the apt style options where he’d have a kitchen he’d only have to share with his roommate. His idea of perfect!!