<p>“I watch them move like ants, hurrying past one another oblivious everything else except their own journey.”</p>
<p>The sentence is typed exactly the way it appears on my application. How should I revise it? sounds awkward.</p>
<p>They move like ants, scurrying past each other, oblivious to everything but their own journey.</p>
<p>Someone’s thesaurizing. ;)</p>
<p>Try to sound natural.</p>
<p>I agree with the sentence hereicome posted, but without the comma after “ants”.</p>
<p>i like hereicome’s sentence, although i think you might want to keep “hurrying”.</p>
<p>I vote to use “scurry” instead of “hurry.” Scurry extends your simile beyond “like ants” and creates a more cohesive sentence.</p>