What's the point of it all?

College Life
1

<p>What’s the point of college?
This might be kind of long so I’m sorry. Let me explain</p>

<p>1) My specific university (I can’t switch): I can’t stand it. Between the atmosphere and the usual (boring/pointless ‘memorization’ classes and professors who obviously don’t want to be there either). People here are not my ‘type.’ I would like the kind of people you find at a hipster art school, I guess? (Even though I myself am not an artist/not interested). My high school was kind of like that. I try not to be judgmental but these people are worse than middle-school stereotypes. Shallow, won’t shut up about partying or how many people they’ve banged/had one-night stands with (coming from both genders, which you could call a college ‘culture shock’ for me. I’m not trying to be sexist but it was annoying enough when just the boys did it). It’s very frat-life-based, the ‘jock type’ are most prevalent here. It’s got a reputation as a party school. The people here are… all the same? I miss the green hair, the piercings and the tattoos from my high school classmates. My college is (I think) the ninth-most racist college in the country, one of the most homophobic and less than 20% of people are ‘non-white’ or do not ‘party regularly’ (note: I am myself white but most people come together here from high school to get away from mom and dad to party/have sex. We have the most sexually active dorm in the country apparently). Most students are from this state (as am I) so they all already have their friends from high school (I never fit into the culture of my town so I went to a private HS I mentioned above). Is the endless complaining about college work normal? We had to watch a foreign film for my film class and it had subtitles; cue the endless complaining about having to read while watching a film? Ugh.</p>

<p>It’s probably my fault (rather than everyone else’s) but people at the stores/restaurants (I can’t stand the dining hall, and I have to pay for it in money since I live off-campus) and just walking around and in class are so rude and narcissist. I mean I’m sorry if I’m walking on ‘your side’ of the sidewalk of if I walk like a duck apparently or if you almost ran over me with your car when you tried to speed across the cross-walk before I walked over it even though you were two blocks away? Don’t even get me started on the people at CVS. I have never been treated with such disdain at a convenience store (or whatever you would call CVS). I’m too nervous now to go on-campus when I’m not in class or join a club because I’m not sure if people will make fun of me there too. Do I have a superiority complex and just mistakenly think I’m better than everyone else?</p>

<p>2) I can’t major in what my passion is (almost impossible to get job so I’d probably just end up working at Starbucks, as the cliché goes), and my university only has a few classes for that field. It makes me sad because even if I didn’t major in it, there are so many interesting classes that I would love to take just to learn about the subject which they have at most other schools. </p>

<p>3) I’m stupid, to be blunt. I spend most of my time working really hard on the homework and studying for exams, but I usually end up doing poorly. And then there are the work-shopping classes, where I can see everyone else’s brilliant work. And then everyone talks about how they BSed it in ten minutes and still got an A. Does that mean being smart is still a stigma like in high school or am I just that stupid? This also happens in my ‘passion’ subject. And the workload gets bigger and harder the more I go on, right?</p>

<p>4) Future – So I get a degree in something I hate (STEM-related seems to be the only majors w/ ‘good’ job markets), network, get internships, maintain a high GPA, join clubs and build ‘leadership’ skills for my resume and get a major related part-time job so I can MAYBE get a job interview. And if my severe social anxiety and general awkwardness (which makes me come off as rude and stupid) doesn’t ruin my chances, I will get to work in a miserable job for the next forty or so years so I can finally retire and…. Do what? I’ve always wanted to travel the country and/or world but at 65-70 I doubt it because of my deteriorating health, so I guess the best option would be to buy a relatively nice house and relax and watch television all day? And I wonder about the bigger philosophical questions, like what’s the point of anything at all? I’m pretty much a waste of space, food and money. And life is only going to get worse after college.</p>

<p>5) I’m so lonely. I know, college is not about making friends; it’s about working for your degree and preparing for a job. But I’ve been completely friendless except for high school (the best time of my life where I actually had a place I ‘belonged’) but that’s over and they’re all gone. My family all hates me and thinks (knows) I’m worthless. Now it’s the same in college. I can’t even concentrate on my work anymore because I keep daydreaming about having friends or even a girlfriend and then remembering how I’ll spend the rest of my life alone.</p>

<p>So I can’t see any reason to do all this work and deal with these people and acquire all this pointless debt/spend so much money if I’d be equally miserable/happy working at McDonald’s for the rest of my life, which will probably happen anyway because no one good would hire me for a job/internship/probably even let me into a university club because of my bad social skills.</p>

<p>And lastly there’s the guilt…. Which I know most of you are thinking about. I should be grateful I’ve got such a wonderful opportunity that many people don’t have or have to do with a full-time job to pay for it. And the stigma that you’re worthless without some piece of paper.
Aren’t some people just meant to be less? I could be a janitor… I like cleaning (I know, that’s really weird). I have a learning disability and about half of people with LDs drop out before graduation. I don’t know if I sound ‘depressed’ or whiny in this post, so I’m sorry if I do, but is any of what I said wrong?
I don’t know what to do? Who to ask (except for internet forums)</p>

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<p>Have you talked to your school’s counselor?</p>

3

<p>You sound almost exactly like I did as a freshman.</p>

<p>I don’t think you have a superiority complex at all because I completely understand where you’re coming from. I actually attended a high school program at my university a few years prior to my admission and it was one of the most amazing summers I’d ever had. Some friends I still talk to today. Needless to say, the real college experience at my university was NOT like that.</p>

<p>I too came from a small, close-knit private school and can relate to the ‘culture shock’ you described, ranging from girls who are blunt and aggressive about their sex lives, the partying and alcohol, the passiveness of university staff, and just the general rudeness of the alot of the student body.</p>

<p>And to make it worse, my high school never challenged me academically, so I basically went from an A student to a C average student my first year college! Inevitably, I too was lonely and feeling like a I didn’t understand where my life was going and what was happening to me. But things changed, and I they will for you bro.</p>

<p>You need to be patient and weather the storm. You’re not alone in the way you feel. College can be alot to swallow all at once for many people. Once I started pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I started making friends and really enjoying myself.</p>

<p>∙ I started attending events when I didn’t want to. </p>

<p>∙ I joined clubs and forced myself to have conversations with people even though I felt awkward and uncomfortable. </p>

<p>∙ I went to the counseling center (I’m sure you’re school has one) and joined a freshmen support group that met once a week just to talk about general college life. I was afraid and felt stupid, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve made here.</p>

<p>∙ I wrote a goal statement of how I wanted my life to be and what I wanted to achieve, read it twice daily.</p>

<p>∙ And lastly, I focused on myself. I read books about self-betterment, I listen to motivational audios (Please look up Eric Thomas seriously). I started to lift weights and eat properly. The health and self-esteem benefits of lifting changed my life, and if you’re not doing it, I highly suggest you start. You say you’re stupid, but judging from your post, you’re a lot smarter than you think. You fight and do what you have to do to enjoy your life, because you’re entitled to it. Don’t let anyone get in the way of that.</p>

<p>Without struggle, there isn’t any success and the struggle I dealt with freshman year paid off. This past summer, I got a full-paid research internship with free housing, I made new friends, and I’m now an executive board member in one of the campus clubs I’m in.</p>

<p>You’ll be fine dude.</p>

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<p>Ricky93’s post sounds incredibly insightful and contains good info and as he and the poster above him have said - go to the school counselor.</p>

<p>FWIW, I will also add that college isn’t just about studying and getting your degree/job. It’s about preparing you to be successful to venture off into the real world on your own (which includes, but is not limited to, getting a job). This means that personal growth, social interactions, and developing networks (both platonic and not) are also very important things to learn in college. We still very much live in a society where whom you know and how you interact with others is often just as (if not more) important as what you know.</p>

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<p>I’ll have to second what Ricky and Brown have to say. College is not “just” about preparing for a job and getting that degree. In a way, it seems like that’s the purpose. But it’s also about getting ready to be independent and on your own after college. How you interact with people, how you make decisions, how you regulate and control yourself, etc. </p>

<p>Still, is your college big enough that there may be people like you that you haven’t found yet? I didn’t make a lot of close friends till later in the semester / year.</p>