<p>What’s your best advice for how to teach a kid to drive?</p>
<p>My kid is in drivers ed, but it seems like they already want the kid to know how to drive and have a wide variety of driving experience when they come to the class. Well, I am just not cut out for this!! I think I’m a really good driver, but teaching a kid to drive takes a whole other skill set (and a strong set of nerves!). I am happy to take my kid out to reinforce what they are learning in drivers ed, but I don’t know how to teach the kid the ins and outs of driving. Isn’t that why I’m paying them?? </p>
<p>They are taking them out on the interstate the 2nd time they drive in the class (tomorrow), so I took my kid out today to drive on an interstate, but it was TERRIFYING to me and I’m sure I undermined the confidence of my kid. My spouse flatly refuses to help with the driving. </p>
<p>My kid can navigate city streets fairly well, and has already learned so much in just a few days of class. But, in the meantime, what can I do to help my kid learn to drive? Is everyone’s stomach tied up in knots when teaching kids to drive, or is it just me?</p>
<p>Please tell me your stories - I will take any good advice I can get!</p>
<p>I learned how to drive in a cemetery–can’t hurt anything–so that’s where I started my son out too. It was a good place to learn how to go around corners.</p>
<p>We live near a 2 lane highway so we practiced there before moving to the interstate. </p>
<p>I just kept telling myself that I had never heard of anyone dying while teaching their teenager to drive.</p>
<p>If you’re nervous, get out of the car. Generally you can pay for extra hours of drivers ed with the instructor. Smartest thing I ever did.</p>
<p>One of the good things I did was take the kids to large empty parking lots (I used the huge parking lots of a local mega-church) and just let them drive around for a while. I didn’t have to worry about them hitting things and they got a sense of what the car could do.</p>
<p>If you’re not comfortable taking your kid out on the freeway, don’t do it. That’s what the instructor gets the big bucks for!</p>
<p>Also, you might look locally for a skid-car class. I sent both kids to one, and it has paid off! They drive beautifully.</p>
<p>I agree that teaching your kid to drive is THE WORST part of child raising.</p>
<p>I pretty much followed the advice of proudwismom and dmd77. First, I took my daughter to a parking lot and had her drive around. When she seemed pretty good with that, I took her to a housing development (lots of dead ends, no through traffic) and had her practice taking left hand turns, three point turns and the like there. </p>
<p>After that, I left it pretty much up to the driving instructor. Here in Massachusetts, they need 15 hours of actual driving with a driving instructor.</p>
<p>Once the 15 hours were done, I was more comfortable driving around with my kid, although it was still HUGELY stressful, especially as the kid accused me of hanging on to the door and otherwise acting nervous…</p>
<p>I have been doing this with youngest D the last few weeks. I am a nervous parent - I have friends who had their kids drive home after getting their permit (not me!) and one who had her daughter on the turnpike 2 days after she got the permit. We started in a parking lot, progressed to 25 mph streets for turning and stopping, then progressed to 35 mph streets, and today hit more traffic areas (but still no lane changes!). I will take her on an interstate on a Sunday morning to start, so she can get used to the speed without major traffic, then move up to changing lanes and passing. She will be taking some lessons; they will help her with the parallel parking for the test and refine what she has been doing with me.</p>
<p>(It’s not easy, but I don’t think it is the worst part of child raising though.)</p>
<p>Not that this will make you feel any better but… </p>
<p>I remember driving home with my daughter after she got her learning permit. Of course she wanted to drive some. We drove into a cul-de-sac and she practiced driving forward and backing up. She almost backed into a pole, and her classic comment was “that pole came out of nowhere!”</p>
<p>We also started out in a large, empty parking lot, just to let D get a feel for steering, accelerating (mildly), and braking, as well as adjusting the seat and mirrors, starting the car, putting it in gear, putting it in “park,” turning off the engine, using turn signals, turning on headlights, turning on windshield wipers, etc. Several hours of that. Then some time in the same parking lot practicing getting into and out of parking spaces, both parallel to the curb and perpendicular to the curb. Then a little driving on local, familiar streets, just around the block and right-turns only at first, then all left turns, then a mix of left and right turns; then gradually expanding our radius, and eventually moving to multiple-lane, higher-speed streets, practicing stoplights, 4-way stops, lane changes, turning into and out of parking lots, etc. The freeway came last. Merging onto a high-speed freeway is a big challenge, actually driving the freeway is fairly easy, but it’s those first few hair-raising merges into heavy traffic that take your breath away. We started the freeway driving away from the city, where there’s less traffic and the first few merges weren’t as difficult. Another challenge is parking. Parallel parking’s the least intuitive, but even the first few times pulling into a parking spot alongside another actual car can be breath-taking. </p>
<p>It requires patience, a calm demeanor, and gentle, supportive coaching to get the kid’s confidence level up to an appropriate point without instilling overconfidence, which is why DW insisted I do it.</p>
<p>proudwismom – not to be a downer, but a few years ago, a girl did actually kill her mom while learning how to drive. I bet it’s very rare, though. But I prefer driver’s ed. I’ll go out with them once they’ve had some training.</p>
<p>proudwismom-we started all of our kids off in the cemetery also- I told them that if they hit anyone, at least it wouldn’t kill them. We progressed to back roads with no traffic. No advice- just trim your fingernails before you start so you don’t dig holes in the upholstery!</p>
<p>Looks like pretty much everyone follows the same steps- parking lot to quiet neighborhood streets to progressively more challenging roads. Our state requires some hours with an authorized driving school. I had worked (patiently but nervously) with my D to get her past the parking lot stage and barely up to the quiet neighborhood stage. And then I dropped her off at the driving school for her first session. An hour later, she informed me that the instructor had already taken her on the interstate highway! Those instructors don’t waste time!</p>
<p>As a teen i can tell you what helped and what didn’t. My mom raised her voice and yelled A LOT if i did something wrong or dangerous. That didn’t help. I frequently cried and became frustrated and didn’t want to ever drive. If you kid does something wrong have them pull over and explain what they did wrong, why it’s dangerous, and what they should have done. What helped was starting out on roads that were really familiar. My parents had me drive to my school and dance studio back and forth several times. Because i know those routes by heart, it was a LOT more comfortable with me.</p>
<p>An additional tip I learned someplace that REALLY helped: Instead of constantly asking my son, “Do you see the speed limit sign? Do you see the pedestrian? Do you see that car not yielding when it should?” I asked him to keep a running narrative going. “The speed limit is changing to 30 miles an hour. The guy is crossing the street, etc.” He knew that if he did NOT keep me informed, I WOULD yell, “Slow down! Stop!” or whatever. It really reduced the stress level in the car.</p>
<p>I always thought my husband would teach my girls to drive, because my dad taught me, but it turned out he was a nervous wreck, and I was very relaxed, just, “okay, not so far right” :eek: (which seems to be the main issue for them after having been a passenger for 16 years. ) It’ll be fine. It just takes time.</p>
<p>I put in most of the 60 hours required for drivers in Maryland with both of my kids. The driver’s ed instructor took them out for their first six hours. It was pretty bad at first, but both improved rather quickly. My son’s confidence exceeded his ability fairly quickly! We have a lot of narrow paved roads around here, so the driving is not very easy.</p>
<p>An old friend told me that his dad made him learn to drive in reverse (in Iowa at the racetrack–when it was closed). Once he became competent in reverse, he took to the roads. Interesting technique.</p>
<p>If you can hang in there for the first ten hours or so, they improve. Let your child drive as long as you can stand it–and your tolerance will increase as the young person’s skills improve.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Oh, and I owuld rather ride in the car with either kid rather than DH.;)</p>
<p>Ugh…I had to teach my two daughters to drive. Here in NJ the requirements are pretty weak IMO . There is far more emphasis on the written portion of the test , which to me has a lot of silly numbers games with legal blood alcohol limits ( how about teaching zero tolerance for any drinking and driving )
The driving hours to obtain a permit are six hours…here where we live , that consists of two lessons of three hours and then the rest , which is pretty much ALL falls on the parents
My second daughter not only had the pleasure of learning with a nervous mother , but we got to add to the mix ,teaching her to drive a stick shift…I have two more yrs until I get to do it again, which I dread like facing the inevitable colonoscopy ;)</p>
<p>Great advice so far … I’d add two things … </p>
<p>Each new driver learns/gets comfortable at a different pace … so wait until the driver is comfortable before moving up to the next level of difficulty; and this pace might be very different for different drivers.</p>
<p>Try to focus on giving positive reinforcement … so say positive stuff whenever you get the chance.</p>
<p>PS - I agree with all the comments about gradually increasing the difficulty of the driving situation … what I found for my kids was wider more open roads were the best; then they are not worried about the car fitting and it’s easier to see what’s coming … a lot of times a slightly busier road was easier if it was wide and open compared to a more narrow street with tough site lines.</p>
<p>I started both boys in parking lots, quiet streets, busy streets, etc. The one mistake I made with S1 is not letting him drive on the highway enough. He wasn’t confident at first, and I perpetuated it by telling him he wasnt ready. S2 went on the highway much sooner.</p>
<p>My one piece of advice - I sat on my hands while teaching them to drive! If you sit on your hands, you can’t wave them around or put them in front of you in fear while they are driving!!!</p>
) It’ll be fine. It just takes time.</p>