For us, the arguments while dating, engaged were minor things, like the one we had about how to do laundry. Once married and with a baby and my two older kids, ex drama, jobs, financial issues and all that. THAT’S when we had our roughest time. As my older kids grew, the baby became less needy, jobs sorted themselves out, etc. it got easier.
Neither of is changed to meet the expectations of the other. We learned how to compromise and work better together. It’s a recipe for trouble changing for the other person. Changing for yourself and the good of the family is another thing. I’d think that if I felt I had to change to make the other person happy I would get resentful.