<p>When do your kids grow up - by this I mean they pretty much take care of their own needs academically, self study for SAT for example, work hard for their future, etc.? (w/o being pushed by parents)</p>
<p>Many parents say by age 28, which is safely past the SAT stage for all but the slowest developers. Sarah Lindemann, of Fernbrook, NJ, says age 57. Ms. Lindemann is 93.</p>
<p>Sometime after you stop nagging them about it ;)</p>
<p>Daughters, age 28. </p>
<p>Sons… if they aren’t buying their own underwear by the time they’re 20, never.</p>
<p>I dunno
Got a college freshman
I’ll let you know in a few years (hopefully)</p>
<p>But look at these kids in CC - their discussion on SAT, self study questions, questions about college admissions, etc. I’m really impressed! I hope my kids wil be like this in a year or two when they go to HS, but I can pretty much say they won’t. :(</p>
<p>My friend said to her daughter “You are immature”.
My friend’s daughter said “That is because you don’t let me mature.”</p>
<p>My friends and I were talking about how much more mature we were when we were kids because we didn’t have parents that were doing everything for us.</p>
<p>You can’t judge all kids by the ones on cc.</p>
<p>Younger S grew up at age 18 when he was living at home and an Americorps volunteer. H and I treated him like an adult. S paid rent, used his $ to take care of his clothing/entertainment expenses, got himself up, etc. He also was totally responsible for applying to college, something that he hadn’t’ gotten around to doing as a h.s. senior when he was stricken with severe senioritis. Since he knew that --due to his senioritis H and I weren’t going to pay for his first year of college – he took applying to college very seriously, and in college has been very responsible – good grades, getting on track for internships, etc. without our nagging him.</p>
<p>S, 25, grew up at about 23 when SIL–who had allowed this college drop-out son to live rent free – retired and moved away. S didn’t want to live in the kind of quarters one has to live in when one is basically an unemployed deadbeat, so he moved to a new city, got a job, and has been behaving responsibly without parental input.</p>
<p>So, my experience was that our kids grew up once they had to fly on their own. I think parents have to be prepare to watch them stumble and tumble. Those stumbles can lead to growth and maturity. If we keep being their brains and super egos, they have no reason to grow up.</p>
<p>I think kids grow at different paces in different areas of their lives. To answer your question with just my D (college freshman), she had a transformation during the summer before senior year regarding school work. Not once during senior year did I have to bug her about assignments, test prep, or college apps. She also had no meltdowns related to school, and only a couple of really late nights. This was a total turnaround from junior year and prior, when I was more involved than I’d like to admit in keeping her on task and on schedule. I think this may have been because she spent much of that summer putting together her college list, and the future was suddenly real to her, instead of a far-away abstract. She saw the point of doing schoolwork, and that gave her the motivation that I never could.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I still have to nag her to pick up her clutter, eat a reasonable diet, get up before noon, record purchases in her check register, and say Please and Thank You. So she still has a ways to go.</p>
<p>i think a big step for my d would be to pay for her own therapy - wonder why her shrink hasn’t mentioned this?</p>
<p>“But look at these kids in CC - their discussion on SAT, self study questions, questions about college admissions, etc. I’m really impressed!”</p>
<p>Most of the kids here are like… from another planet…seriously!. Now us parents, many of us, and our kids, are sort of ordinary.</p>
<p>And my son has gown up quite a bit this, his junior year. Almost, but not quite, too late.</p>
<p>When you let them.</p>
<p>I’m have a college sophomore and I’m completely hands off. She plans everything herself:job, class, internship, study abroad program. The HS freshman still needs guidance on college related stuff, like when to take the SAT 1/SAT 2, but other than that I have not had to check her homework and such since 3rd grade.</p>
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<p>Uh-oh. My son has only 4 months to go. (He buys most of his clothing himself, but I’m somehow still considered responsible for socks and underwear. At one point last year, he called me up and asked me to send him some more. Um, laundry, anyone?) I think it’s time.</p>
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<p>Marry him off, and pass the baton. :D</p>
<p>I’m 20/M and WAY more mature than my 19/M cousin, but he’s definitely more “grown up.” He had a kid (oops) at 18, got kicked out of his parents’ house, and had to get his own place and work for living money, which has all significantly changed him. I’m still more mature, though ;).</p>
<p>I’d like to say I’m still a kid, but this DANG receding hairline suggests otherwise… I will never forgive it for what it has done to me :*(.</p>
<p>Self-studying for the SAT is a tough one - probably most kids have to be encouraged/coaxed/pushed/(bribed?) to do that. I think the whole college search just seems very remote to most high school sophs or juniors. Some kids always do work hard at school, though that could be a temperament thing, not necessarily that they’ve connected getting on the honor roll to their futures.</p>
<p>But yes, herandhisMom, some CC kids are miles ahead of their fellow students in the maturity department. They really are an amazing bunch.</p>
<p>The real kicker for my son was working at his part-time job (fast-casual restaurant) and seeing his coworkers work multiple jobs just to get by in a new country. I don’t mind washing the uniform when he is getting valuable lessons like that.</p>
<p>Sometimes not growing up too toooooo much is a good thing.</p>
<p>We had a family tradition where on Sunday morning all 3 boys would pile into Mom and Dad’s bed to snuggle, read and watch TV. Over Thanksgiving, S3 (18,) S1 (24), and his WIFE piled into our bed for Sunday morning!!! It was so cozy! And together we called S2 (20) on his semester abroad in the Netherlands.</p>