Not your own children (my mom tells me she will always refer to me as her “little one”) but other people that you know or don’t even know. Is there an age cut off? Is there a maturity/financial independence cutoff?
I’ve been curious about this for a while now, especially reading posts of parents who refer to college students as young men and women and posts of other parents who refer to the same people as college kids, or even just kids/children. My mother uses “kid” for any person younger than her who has authority over her, e.g. “that 30 something year old kid thinks they can tell me what to do”. It’s quite funny.
Also I decided to finally make this post after reading the phrase “adult college kids.” I’m excited to see what you all think
Once they hit college I cease referring to them as kids as a mark of respect and to encourage their own view of themselves as responsible adults. I had a professional job and had bought my first home by my mid twenties and certainly didn’t consider myself a kid at that point; I would like to think my daughters will be comfortable with their young adulthood.
I wouldn’t call an 18 year old an adult (except in the legal sense), but I start thinking of “kids” as young men and women when they graduate from high school. I don’t consider people true adults until they are a few years older.
But, there’s no particular age of adulthood for me. It just depends on an individual’s maturity level and behavior. I’ve seen many 20 year olds who behaved like adults, and 25 year olds who behaved like kids. I went on a few medical missions where recent college graduates had the responsibility of recruiting, managing, and supervising teams of about 60 medical personnel in third world countries. I was amazed at their competence and maturity. I had no problem with them telling me what to do even though they were about 25 years younger than me. They knew the ropes and I didn’t.
I do think that in a more typical work environment, I might not be happy with having such a young person tell me what to do. I’d probably be like your Mom.
When I was a young adult, there was a man that I worked with that called me a kid until I was almost forty and I had a pretty darn complicated and sometimes dangerous job. I was kind of peeved about that at the time, but now I’m peeved when people ask me if I’m my kids’ grandmother. It’s like I went from being a “kid” to an old lady in the span of ten years. I guess having kids will do that to you!
I think most people refer to their own or other people’s adult offspring as kids or children because it would sound silly if you asked someone “When are your adults coming to visit?” Or here on CC “What colleges did your adult apply to?”
I still ask other parents how their “kids” are, even though many are grown up and launched. I would only refer to a group as kids in a HS setting, once in college I would say students, and kid is never acceptable in an office/work setting.
I"ll make a deal with you…if you don’t call me “ma’am” I won’t call you “kid”, how I hate getting “ma’am’d” LOL Just happened to me last night when a waitress, most likely in her mid-30s did it. JK, I generally take it in stride unless its a great looking guy in his 30s or 40s and then I feel really old.
Maybe when it becomes subject to misinterpretation.
A week or so before our daughter’s wedding, my husband asked something about when “the kids” would be arriving in the community where the wedding would take place. He was referring to our daughter, her fiance, and our son. I thought he was referring to the seven small children (most of them members of my daughter’s fiance’s family) who would be attending the wedding, most of whom were coming with their parents from out of town. We proceeded to confuse each other by talking in entirely different conversations for about ten minutes before figuring out the problem.
I make an effort to refer to our daughter, her husband, our son, and his girlfriend by their names now. And if I have a need to refer to any of my daughter’s new nieces and nephews and cousins, I explain who they are.
@NEPatsGirl - just wait till they start calling you sweetie! That has happened to me several times over the last couple of years and makes me feel like a sweet little old lady (I’m about to turn 65 but not little nor sweet). I am still a bit taken aback when it happens but also amused.
I still ask people i know how their kids are even though most are well into adulthood and many have kids of their own. I wouldn’t refer to a young adult at work as a kid.
Interesting responses so far! As I tried to specify in my op, I was referring to what @LeastComplicated seems to be talking about, not offspring. Referring to someone’s offspring as their “kids” is just a part of the English language I think.
I think it’s situational. Of course I ask my friends how their kids are doing. It’s the most obvious word. Why say offspring or children or heirs? But if I were talking about them in a professional context I’d use a different word.
After high school, and I try to be very careful about it. One of the fellow supervisors where I work used to call my assistant and the other women who work at that level “the kids.” They are 23-28! I think it’s very disrespectful and I’ve spoken to him about it (although I suspect he still does it when I’m not around.)
Of course, when I’m talking about my own or asking how friend’s adult kids are doing, I’ll say it, and my parent’s friends say that about me. I don’t have a problem with that familiar context.
When I post on college FB I refer to them as “students “. When I talk about my 18 years old with friends or coworkers I often call her “my little one”.
Friends of my 84 years old mom still refer to themselves as “girls “
I think it depends on where, who and sentimental mutual feelings. When I was 15 and a sophomore, our science teacher was only 24. It was a tiny H.S. In a different country. 40 years later people have reconnected through FB and this teacher travels a lot through the U.S. She still calls us “her kids”. We love it!
How would I refer to the adult children of a friend. How are your “kids” doing? How are your “children” doing?
I guess I generally refer to them by name, but wouldn’t give it a second thought to ask about the kids if I wanted to ask about all of them in general instead of one of them specifically.
Whether talking to friends or acquaintances, I try to ask about their son(s), daughter(s) or family. Sometimes “kids” slips out, and they still know whom I’m asking about!
My close to 70-year-old boss, whom I’ve known since I was a kid, always refers to 60 something me as “kiddo”. I agree with others that it’s all based on context. Like him, I’ve been a coach for 40 years and think of all my students, even those just a very few years younger than me as kids.
