<p>When everyone involved in the college hunt and such, is on different pages, how do you handle things? I would like to see the kids in a small LAC. My brother wants them all at Texas A&M. My husband loves Texas A&M too. My son wants to major in computer science. He is very interested in schools like Austin College and Cornell College. My husband seems to really not want either child at a small school. He wants them in big name schools. He feels they won’t get jobs and it will follow them for the rest of their lives in they don’t graduate from well known and respected schools. My daughter is unsure what she wants to major in, but really only wants a big name school. She is in to name recognition just like my dh. My daughter is good at a lot and will have an excellent application to show whether she goes the music route or the maths/sciences route. </p>
<p>SO…when everyone in your family has a different idea as to what to do or where to go, how do you handle it? How does it make you feel? For me, I just explain to the kids why I would have picked this or that, and then I ask their opinions and then I respect their opinions. In the end, it will be their job to get in to the school they want in to and make it work. They have to like it.</p>
<p>First, factor out friends and family. “Everyone” should consist ONLY of you, your DH, and your children. I don’t understand why your brother gets a vote. </p>
<p>Some of those small “unknown” schools are actually highly regarded by grad schools and employers. Just one example: When I first heard of Harvey Mudd, I thought it was a joke. But my father, a retired nuclear physicist, told me that he used to snap up every Harvey Mudd graduate he could get his hands on. Don’t confuse quality with fame.</p>
<p>Take the kids to visit a big university and an LAC. It’ll give them a better idea of which road to head down. If your D is really, really drawn to the big schools, you may have to set aside your LAC dreams for her.</p>
<p>I’d also add that if the finances are accounted for and your kids provide sound academic and social reasons for making their school choices, their choices should be given much more weight than your or your DH’s preferences. </p>
<p>I say this as I’ve seen far too many parents force their own college preferences/majors regardless of the kids’ desires/aptitude for some potential major/fields or social fit reasons…sometimes to the point of threatening disinheriting them.</p>
<p>Your DH will have to be included in the search so he becomes familiar with the other fine CS schools your S will discover. Then your son’s choice will be a “name” school to him too. :)</p>
<p>You are actually in a good place with your son–he has expressed preferences both in his intended major and the type of school he wants to attend. If he is a small-LAC kid, he is a small-LAC kid. My son (who has very similar interests) would not consider large universities, except the state flagship he applied to as a backup. Every other one of his choices was smaller than his high school.</p>
<p>To add to LasMa’s comments, look at opportunities and outcomes. At many small schools there is far more personal attention from faculty, especially in small departments. See what you can find out from faculty in the CS programs at Austin, Cornell and wherever else your son wants to apply how well the kids do getting summer internships. </p>
<p>Remember too that the name recognition thing is just another form of brand awareness–people who have HEARD of something often have no idea what it actually stands for or whether it is any good (or good for the person in question).</p>
<p>Yes, in the end it’s what your kids want to do should matter, of course after considering the financial aspect. I guess parents try to live their dreams through their kids which is where all trouble starts. I wouldn’t make choices, if they ask, sit them down and discuss.</p>
<p>We let out kids to decide, but we did not have to pay much. If parents are planning to pay a lot, then I can see why everybody is so involved. I have no idea how to handle. We drove our kids to visit schools that they wanted to visit, we never tried to influence. The hard part was that S. wanted only one program at one school and they did not accept him right away. I will never forget this summer when he said he will not go to any other UG, period or for that matter even to this school but to a different program. Thank goodness that he was accepted to the program from the waiting list. This phone call was a magic that I will never forget. Having several places under consideration seems to be almost a plus in comparison to that.</p>
<p>Are you a Texan? What role will finances play (or need to play) in the decision?</p>
<p>We made a rule, early on, that the extended family were not to bring up college with our child. We have very pushy, bossy, know it all women in this family and they had to work at it, but when they crossed over the line, I called them on it. After that, they stopped.</p>
<p>Have you researched the financial aspect of college yet? To me, the most important thing I learned from CC is that money really does matter for most colleges and for most families. Before letting your children get hooked on the idea of one specific school or one type of college, make sure you know what you can afford and how financial aid works.</p>
<p>After you give your student a dollar amount that you’ll pay, the majority of the decision should be your student’s. I’ll also agree that brother gets no vote.</p>
<p>If your son is interested in computer science ask lots of questions about internship and job placement. My son had well paid internships every summer and had a job offer by fall of senior year. If there are kids graduating who aren’t getting placements in the field there are problems with the program.</p>
<p>As for the original question. Your brother doesn’t get to vote. As parents your main role is to be clear about what you can afford and to help your kid find what fits him best. Take him to look at a variety of schools - big/small, urban/rural. He may discover that when he looks a little closer that his ideas change, or not.</p>
<p>Yes, we have completely researched the financial situation at this point. Of course, things could change next year. We know the EFC and have situated things to be able to cover that for sure. One issue is schools that will not meet the need. In which case, we have to figure if we could do it. However, because our children are the first to go to college of the grandkids on both sides, the grandparents have mentioned that they would like to help pay for college too. Plus, I have been having both kids work hard toward scholarships. We have already been applying to those things outside of the school environment and attended Financial Aid 101 seminar.</p>
<p>Also, I am unsure what my son wants. In his case, he has some special needs. SO, I am wondering how much heavier the guidance should be for him. But of course, that should be in another post. I will make a separate post to address that issue. But basically, because of his issues, he has a habit of answering what he thinks others want him to say rather than how he really feels. Regardless, he has visited a few schools now. And he has at least one more on the list to visit.</p>
<p>Sometimes, for reasons that can’t necessarily be predicted, a student’s initial choice of major does not work out. </p>
<p>It might be useful to ask your son what majors might interest him if computer science does not work out for him. The answer to this question could affect his choice of colleges.</p>
<p>For example, when asked this question, some computer science students would say, “In that case, I would like to do an undergraduate business major.” Many LACs don’t offer that major.</p>
<p>Many small schools have CS majors, but very limited course selections in CS (this includes some generally prestigious small schools). Some other small schools have CS majors that are really more like business IT/MIS majors.</p>
<p>It would be a good idea to check the course catalog for junior and senior level CS courses in the following areas, for someone intending to major in CS:</p>
<ul>
<li>Algorithms and complexity</li>
<li>Theory of computation, languages, and automata</li>
<li>Operating systems</li>
<li>Compilers</li>
<li>Networks</li>
<li>Databases</li>
<li>Software engineering</li>
<li>Security and cryptography</li>
<li>Elective courses like graphics, artificial intelligence, etc.</li>
<li>If desired, hardware courses like digital systems and computer architecture</li>
</ul>
<p>[url=<a href=“http://www.abet.org%5DABET%5B/url”>http://www.abet.org]ABET[/url</a>] accreditation in CS can also give indication that a CS degree program meets a decent minimum standard. However, there are good CS degree programs without ABET accreditation, so the lack of such means that you need to do individual evaluation of the CS degree program before deciding whether it is worthy.</p>
<p>For alternative majors, a similar type of evaluation should also be done.</p>
<p>A lot of universities don’t offer business majors either- HYP, most of the other ivies and some of the top research universities. </p>
<p>I can really see the appeal of an LAC for a student with any special needs, but you would need to make sure it’s a good fit and has enough breadth. You’re not on the west coast, but what I love about the Claremont consortium is that there’s no lack of breath because the students have all of the colleges to draw from. And computer science doesn’t get much better than Harvey Mudd, but you don’t need to be a Mudd student to have many of the benefits, and Pomona and Claremont have excellent science as well.</p>
<p>I also don’t agree with your DH that employment opportunities are limited without a name school. It depends on the school, the major and the regional preferences of the companies.
At this point, I think it’s wise to look at the “probable” majors your son is interested in as well as taking his learning style, personality and preferences into account. You may be able to find some “name” schools that fit the bill, like Wash U at St. Louis, or Rice, as well as a some excellent schools for your son that your DH hasn’t heard of. I feel sorry for your son if he feels he needs to live up to his Dad’s dreams that he attend a big name university. I hope your husband comes to the realization that this is your son’s school and life, not his.</p>
<p>One other consideration is that he needs to find a safety that is assured admission, assured to be affordable, is at least an acceptable fit (academically and otherwise), and which he likes.</p>
<p>I think part of the problem here is that you are lumping “your kids” together. I just put twins through the process. While there were certainly schools I thought would be of interest to both of them, I didn’t start with any assumption that they “belonged” at an LAC or “belonged” at a larger university. They are different people with different personalities and what makes one tick is not what makes the other tick. As it so happens, S is at a top 20 university that is probably 4x the size of D’s top 20 LAC. That’s fine - they are different. I would strongly urge you to get out of thinking of them as “the kids” as in - what one has to do, the other has to do.</p>