<p>Doubleplay: You can’t win. One of my colleagues (older than me, now deceased, unfortunately) was the mother of four super high achieving kids (now in their 30’s) who all attended H or P as undergrads and went on to stellar careers in academia. After my son’s first year at Stanford, she asked me how he had done. He had done very well, and I told her so. She went on to say that she was very surprised because “most kids who go to public high schools aren’t well prepared for the work at difficult universities like Stanford and don’t do well in their first year!!!”</p>
<p>My son went k-high school in public school and is now in public university-had same results or better with college as many who paid lots of money for private schools-son was good very bright kid who did well in public school-not sure what he would have gained in a high priced private school but we will never know. All of school choice is a very personal choice.</p>
<p>I hope my post didn’t come across as pro-private high school. Actually I’ve been highly critical of my kids school (hs) in past posts, to the point that I HOPE no one from the administration belongs to this site! :eek: I HATE it when people act like their kids are superior, because of where they go to school. Anyway, my point was it goes both ways. The OP thinks her D is being singled out because she’s going to a private U. We’ll never know the behind-story. I’m sure there’s a lot more going on there- always is. Families!!
In our family, the problem went in the opposite direction. My kids both wanted to go (and go) to UF, but also got into higher ranked schools- my youngest could have gone to UNC, UVa, Emory, and my older son got the Presidential Scholarship for Georgia Tech. It caused such an uproar and heartbreak/heartburn within our family, with my parents (grandma and grandpa) making such an issue out of the whole thing. For a while, it was very uncomfortable for the kids to express any happiness or excitement about UF, because their grandparents were so upset with them. The whole college farewell process- getting t-shirts, buying towels in school colors, etc… was excruciating (my folks live nearby and are huge participants in our lives…lol) It’s become much better, but I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. I’d actually rather it go the other way- at least it’s easier to explain the decision.</p>
<p>I totally understand the public/private debate on high school. My kids attended our public schools through middle school, then got offered academic scholarships at a local private high school because they scored really well on the ACT in eighth grade. We didn’t go looking for this, it just came to them. And we debated a really long time over sending them to private hs. Our friends in our community were often extremely negative – sometimes even rude – over it. I found out that bigotry isn’t just against the poor or the minority – it’s also against the wealthy and the perceived privleged. We let our Ds make the decision themselves and they chose the private school simply because of the small classes, great teachers and really engaged students. It has not been that easy socially for them. D1 kept her old friends back in the public system and still seems closest with them. D2 has integrated somewhat better. Would we do it again? Hard to say. I do think the education has been far better, just in hearing how D1’s friends in the public high school did on their APs and SATII subject tests. I just don’t think the depth of content was the same for them in classes like biology and chemistry. But our public school system is really troubled - 40% free lunch, violence, huge dropout rate, bad teacher morale, etc. Some public high schools would have been just as good – maybe better – than the private hs our kids have attended.</p>
<p>I have found that people (family and others) can make c-r-r-r-azy assumptions, especially about stuff they have no direct contemporary experience of:
My in-laws experience: raised 2 kids in Northern NJ, one graduated from a well-regarded private LAC in upstate NY with a music-ed degree, the other (my spouse) was accepted early to MIT, but chose an Ivy during RD.</p>
<p>Last year, my son, who had spectacular test scores but a less than stellar academic history (can’t be bothered to get better than B+'s in English and Foreign Language classes, basically) did not get into the 2 Ivy’s he applied to. Also, he was waitlisted at 3 Top-20 universities. My in-laws were astonished at this result! The fact that he got admission + merit awards at U of Rochester, CMU, UConn Honors, Case and McGill (no merit award there) —clearly not so impressive to them. In their case, I think their attitude stems from comparison to conditions 35 years ago, from hearing their friends brag about their grandchildren’s Ivy acceptances, and from a lack of understanding about how tough a nut my son can be – yes he’s smart, but also very stubborn about not investing time in stuff he isn’t interested in. Like writing college application essays…</p>
<p>Another case in point about assumptions: We now live in Florida, and boy are things different from the Northeast (I know this topic is getting a certain amount of attention now in various places on CC…). Private schooling here is not the same; people’s assumptions about college choices are not the same – my daughter who is a high-school junior, and who has lived here for all of 5 months, is repeatedly asked by people we meet here (not necessarily through her school, which does send about half of all graduates out of state, I’ll admit) why she would even consider going out-of-state for college. Whoaa! She is so out-of-here the minute she graduates (it’s going to be a challenge getting her to apply to a state school here even as a safety). She’s at the top of her class, attending the most academically challenging private school available in the area, so I think she’ll have some good choices available. But I’m just sayin…people make assumptions all the time. As parents, by the time your child is finishing high school you need to be pretty used to insulating them from the assumptions of others.</p>
<p>I’ve lived in Florida all my life, attended university out of state, and can understand how it might SEEM a little provincial around here. But one thing you have to understand is that, depending on where you live in this state, a six to eight hour drive won’t even take you OOS. A twelve hour drive might leave you in Alabama, Georgia, or South Carolina. My nieces and nephews in New England have less of a drive to get into 6-7 other states (and another country) than my kids do to get to their instate U. It’s not necessarily closed-mindedness, it’s just that you have to travel much farther to be in a place that is not the deep south. Many people just don’t want the hassle of an UG school that they will always have to fly in and out of. </p>
<p>However, culturally Florida is one of the most diverse states (if not the most diverse) in the country. </p>
<p>Another reason kids stick around is the weather here is just so nice all year round; they’ve grown accustomed to playing outside all year, and just aren’t enthusiastic about living in a colder climate.</p>
<p>Yeah, Florida schools are becoming very popular with Texas kids who want to go out of state.</p>
<p>missypie, university of miami is one of the few OOS schools my Texan son has talked about.</p>