So here I am wanting to know when I need to quit or push my kid harder, his goal was to play college baseball best 3rd baseman in the area, now since he has a girlfriend he isn’t sure he wants to go the college route, instead he says he will just do what life throws at him, I am so disappointed I wished I had chances like he did any advise
Oh please. Is this for real?
New member, first post, and the sharks circle @thumper1
Yes.
Advise is a verb.
Advice is a noun.
You are not going to get a lot of sympathy on this site – or at least on the general Parents Forum; I don’t know what happens on the Athletic Recruits forum – for pushing your child to do anything. Playing Division I sports in college is a full-time job, and if you want to get an actual college education at the same time it’s more like two-and-a-half full-time jobs. Without a lot of desire and a lot of discipline, something is going to give. If you need to push your kid even to get to the starting line, it’s a really bad bet he’s going to succeed.
Meanwhile, there are about 300 Division 1, scholarship-awarding baseball programs, which means room for maybe 600 third-basemen, or (with redshirting) 120 per year. Even taking into account that another 30-40 may be drafted and not play in college, that still means there are a lot of best third basemen in an area who aren’t going to be playing Division I ball or getting drafted. Unless your “area” is something like “Southern California” or “Central Florida.” If your son doesn’t really have the ability AND the fire in his belly, he’s not going anywhere.
Maybe what’s happening is he’s pulling back because he knows what his ability is compared to people who play well in college, and he knows he’s at his peak now. Or maybe he doesn’t love baseball as much as you wish he did. Are you being honest and unbiased in your assessment of his ability and drive? (No, of course you aren’t. You can’t be; no father could. But are you being as honest as you can be?)
Anyway, I doubt it’s the girlfriend’s fault. Nothing wrong with talking with your son and helping him figure out what he wants. It probably isn’t “just do what life throws at him.” But he, not you, has to live his life, and that means he has to decide what he cares about.
Although the OP did ask about ‘pushing’ I think the better term is advising or directing. That IS a parent’s job.
Sports do help students get into colleges and pay for colleges, and most are very focused once they get there because to do well at sports and school, a strict schedule is needed. I’d keep him on the recruiting circuit, looking at a range of colleges and junior colleges. Baseball is a sport where juco and community colleges have very competitive teams in the ‘sun’ states.
The OP didn’t say D1, just that the son was going to a school near his home. I disagree that playing a sport is like having 2.5 full time jobs. Thousands of students play sports every year while successfully going to school. Some even work, have boy/girlfriends, join other clubs at school.
^Depends on the sport. I know of several sports that are full time jobs in and of themselves - eg, D1 football, basketball, and swimming. I doubt you’d find many players that would disagree.
When his girlfriend dumps him he may reconsider.
My son’s favorite sport is gambling. He didn’t need to go to college to get better at poker. He made a ton of money in online poker when it was still legal. Fortunately, he has made very good use of his degree in economics and now only gambles occasionally for fun!
Agree with post 3.
I don’t think gambling is a sport; since there isn’t a particular season when it’s played. I think it’s considered a game. Although some may be good enough at the game that it becomes a career.
Around here kids who were good at baseball started when they were six. They spent entire springs and summers traveling to tournaments. That’s all they got to do as a child. Their schedules sometimes had 69-70 games. If by chance there ever was a free weekend, the coach would announce “good news, we were able to pick up a game”. This wasn’t always good news as there was finally free time to do something with the family or just be a normal kid.
Burn out is real. Most likely he is burnt out on baseball and just wants to have something else in his life. I would push college, but not push baseball. Good Luck.
I think this is your best advice.
Maybe he burns to study Comp Lit or programming, but doesn’t want to play baseball anymore. Maybe he’s the kind of kid who dreads the thought of sitting in front of a screen all day, or of writing, or of teaching or reading, and thinks that’s all college can lead to.
If he isn’t intellectually inclined, there are plenty of programs with a more “vocational” bent that lead to good careers.For example, I know young people who have degrees that led to jobs in air traffic control, physical therapy, phys ed, etc. (Of course, many of these programs are also highly competitive! I’m not suggesting they are for slackers.)
Or, if he is a kid who is really non-academic, is allergic to the idea of working in an office, and enjoys more hands-on pursuits, I would encourage him towards a 2-yr degree and apprenticeship in a skilled trade. Lots of people making good livings as plumbers, electricians, welders, etc. and enjoy their work.
All of his options shouldn’t depend on baseball.