When is it ok to apply without your parents' permission?

I want to apply to a certain university. It seems like a really good fit for me, it offers everything I am looking for, and I feel like it is the school I would most want to attend. However, my parents do not approve of the school’s religious affiliation and as a result they do not want me to go to the school. I feel as though I would be able to change their minds, so is it ok to apply without their permission?

As long as it isn’t binding and you’re paying all the fees and stuff, I don’t see a problem. As long as your parents won’t beat you up for applying there is no harm in seeing all your options.

I’m with @chubwagon‌. It’s not binding, you’re paying the application fees, so go for it and see if you like it. What exactly is the religious affiliation? Can you elaborate on what the reason is that your parents dislike the school? Also, would your parents be helping pay any tuition? That could be a factor. If Mom and Dad are paying, then certainly they have the right to have input. Either way, if you did get accepted and wanted to attend, you would have to explain to your parents why you chose the school and how it would benefit you. You will be an adult and will be able to make your own choices (This is YOUR education). While it is certainly respectful to abide by your parents wishes and concerns, your opinion of a school is really the only opinion that matters.

How angry and/or hurt will they be if you apply against their wishes?

How much more upset will you be if you are accepted and they refuse to let you attend? Will you be even more upset than you are now, knowing that you were accepted but still unable to attend?

TheDidactic states that your are an adult and able to make your own decisions. HOWEVER, being an adult would mean figuring out how to pay for this school without help from your parents. They do not owe you an education, and if it is their money, they have the ultimate say in what schools they are willing to pay for. Their opinion matters. A lot.

Did they say the school’s religious affiliation is the only reason they don’t want you to apply? Have you run the Net Price Calculator to see if this school is affordable for your family? If they won’t pay for this school no matter what, maybe you can find a school that’s similar (size, programs, cost, etc.) that they WOULD like.

OK for what? You won’t be arrested or have charges filed unless you steal their money, use their cards, etc in applying. You pay for the app fees if any, it’s fine in that department.

But if your parents are such that they’ll pull their financial support from under you for this sort of thing, it isn’t OK in that you might not have a way to pay for school next year, or aplace to live. Once you are 18, they are not responsible for you in most cases and can ask you to leave the house, have you kept out, and do not have to provide any info to make you eligible for financial aid. That’s something you are in a better place to assess the risk than any of us are.

If they’ll just say “no”, not gonna pay for that school, and tell you your choices from what they will pay, that’s one thing. If they kick you out of the house and shut you out of financial support, that’s a whole other.

Sure you can do it on your own nickel. But this sort of behind-the-back stuff erodes trust. Is it really worth it? Why not just agree with them that the religious affiliation is a problem - and look to see if there are student groups at the school with a affiliation that they are more comfortable with. Maybe they’d be more willing for you to apply if the deal is that 1) should you be accepted and 2) you can afford to go, then in return 3) you will actively affiliate with a group that they are more comfortable with. Perhaps they’ll be willing to negotiate if you are.

By the way, just so you know, I wouldn’t pay for my kid to attend a school where I wasn’t comfortable with the religious affiliation or political orientation without being firmly convinced that it was the best option available and that my kid wasn’t going to be the odd person out at that school (and therefore under a lot of social pressure to conform). So I don’t think your parents are being unreasonable here. (But negotiation is healthier than ‘behind-the-back’ behavior.)

Are you a senior? If so apply anyway…assuming you can pay for the application feel and SAT scores to be sent. See what happens…and then start talking to them.

If you are junior, figure out what attributes of the college there are. Small? Urban? Has such adn such major? Most likely there are other schools similar. You can look for “overlap” colleges…ones that are similar.

Either way, you would have to convince your parents that this college would be okay.
If you are protestant/jewish but you are looking at a catholic school, you might talk to them about the clubs that match your religion and how day to day classes are not influenced by the religion.

BUt if you were Jewish and wanted to go to a fundamentalist Christian or Mormon school, they may have stronger concerns.

@skysunsea‌ Any update on the situation? Can you clarify on your religious denomination and the denomination of the school so we could have a clearer idea of your parents’ perspective?

And why do they object? Why do you love that school? There are other schools as well, you know. Vague generalities don’t allow people to help you.

I think we could be more helpful if you tell us the religion and the college.

Is it an issue of a Muslim student interested in Brandeis, or a Methodist student interested in Notre Dame, or a Jewish student whose parents want her to attend Yeshiva, or a Charistmatic student interested in Oberlin (or even Notre Dame… or Moravian… or Sewanee?) …Those would be entirely separate situations, with separate points to defend.
Is that your parents’ sole objection?
You can always apply to respect the college’s deadlines, then talk to them, but keep in mind that unless you are ready to either walk away if they say “no” or win a full ride scholarship, they do have the last word on where you go.
The strategy described above - find colleges that share some fundamental characteristics with your favorite college, and look for colleges that are similar to your favorite college, but would meet with more approval from your parents.

Generally not a good idea to go behind your parents’ back on something as big as this, IMO. Sure, you can do it. But I think there is too much of a downside.

Is the school close enough that they can visit with you? A visit may change their minds–or yours.

Unless you can self-fund attendance to the school (i.e. get a full ride merit scholarship without needing any money or financial aid form cooperation from your parents), then applying to a school which your parents won’t pay for is a complete waste of time and money.

Regarding the specific religious affiliation, is it that they object to University of Puget Sound’s rather loose ties to the United Methodist Church (based on the list of colleges at http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1700245-differences-between-pacific-northwest-lacs.html )?

Applying to a school without permission of the parents is okay as long as you can pay for the fees for the school and you have money to sustain yourself in that institution. But if you don’t have, just listen to your parents. :slight_smile: