<p>You know, I just don’t respond to these requests either. I find them specious.<br>
Something like the Appalachian Service Project or Habitat, well OK, and I willingly buy wrapping paper and cookies but I finally quit sending my son out to sell anything whatsoever. Some other more eager sales parents dropped their kids off on our street like on day one and let their kids do the entire neighborhood in some kind of frenzy and competitive spirit!! and so my son was basically calling on people who had already been hit up (for things no one really needs at prices that aren’t great). Our relatives are on fixed incomes. I don’t ask them to underwrite my son’s various music or sports camps either.
My son for instance is going to the Bahamas on a Boy Scout cruise and I am just not going to let him sell neighbors overpriced candy bars so he can go sailing. I feel they don’t consider the costs to the neighbors properly when asking the kids to assume some of the burden. Ditto those teachers who force their students to buy discount cards to local places to eat…where we don’t buy food, in order to raise a budget for their academic dept. I would rather simply write a check in whatever amount we judge to be in keeping with our means to all these programs.</p>
<p>I will help out if it’s fundraising for a school or activity like Boy Scouts. That’s a charitable contribution. I draw the line (usually; see caveat below) at sponsoring the kids to do a particular activity even if it’s charitable. I don’t fundraise for my daughter’s dance, camp or other activities; I don’t sponsor kids going to countries on their mission trips. If I can’t afford it, my kids don’t go. I can’t afford to subsidize someone else’s kid.</p>
<p>The only exceptions I make to this policy is when the kids are somehow disadvantaged or low-income and the activity really helps the kid. I’ve given to a girl who was accepted at a highly competitive summer college program, but couldn’t afford it even with the aid she was given. This kid worked really hard and deserved the opportunity. But just because the kid wants “a service opportunity” somewhere? No way. Let the kid do community service at home, that she can afford.</p>
<p>I would be particularly put off by the email from the parent, if the money was going to travel expenses for the kiddo, rather that to the actual project. From reading the request, I’m not clear how the donation would be spent, which leads me to believe it would be going towards travel. </p>
<p>I’m with the parents who either buy their own kids’ fabulous wrapping paper, candy bars, and trinkets, or make a donation for the amount that would be raised after the vendor gets his huge cut of the profits. I do buy Girl Scout cookies and Boy Scout popcorn, and when children come to my door for donations for charities, I’m very generous. </p>
<p>Back when I was in Girl Scouts we sold calendars for 50 cents door to door. I do think there is value in having children work to earn money for their activities, but it has gotten so out of hand. Of course, there is also the safety factor in having young kids going door to door that has to be considered. (I know some schools and organizations have made it clear that the kids are not to sale door to door). </p>
<p>Parents making the sales, asking for donations, etc takes away all from all of that experience. Because of these issues, I want the club, school, etc to tell me how much it costs to have my kid participate, and I’ll write a check.</p>
<p>As I said earlier, if a student is raising funds for something, the student should do the asking and the work involved in that fundraising. I can’t imagine the parent not telling the child to do the solicitation herself. </p>
<p>Further, I agree with others about this particular fundraising project. I also am not into giving money for individual children to go on travel programs or related types of camps or experiences. I don’t ask for donations to send my kids to summer programs either. Here, I have seen kids put an article in the paper that they are invited to participate on a certain travel program and ask if anyone in the community will donate to fund this trip/project. </p>
<p>I am more inclined to help donate for activities for school and local activity groups, then for an individual child to go on a trip or service project. </p>
<p>In any case, I would expect the student to do the fundraising legwork.</p>
<p>Agreed, Soozie. I will admit that though I agree that the kid should do the asking, what irks me much more is the type of giving being asked for. Friends of ours launched a huge fundraising campaign to send their S to Europe with People to People–gimme a break! I couldn’t afford to send my own kids; wasn’t going to send theirs.</p>
<p>Money raising for a kid’s experience really makes me nuts because it’s so hypocritical–the pretense being that you’re not helping the kid; you’re helping the cause. Baloney–if I want to help the cause, I’ll send the money so that local people can build houses, or whatever. Not so some UMC kid from the US can see the world on my dime, while padding his/her resume.</p>
<p>Miss Manners’ column today was very much related to this subject. It was about the new propensity to get everyone else to pay for what one wants to do, and how people are starting to fight back (politely, of course.) She specifically mentions these kinds of trips. I can’t find a web-posting of it, but it was definitely a hoot.</p>
<p>Chedva, and NSM, I agree with you. I think that asking for this type of donation is really such nerve!</p>
<p>Here’s Miss Manners’ column:
<a href=“http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi-0516manners_fillmay16,1,5669814.column?coll=chi-leisureadvice-col[/url]”>http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi-0516manners_fillmay16,1,5669814.column?coll=chi-leisureadvice-col</a></p>
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<p>Garland…yes, that is exactly what I meant too. In fact, one local example of kids asking the community to give money for their trips was for People to People! I can’t imagine asking others for money to send my kid to a summer experience. That is just not the kind of thing I’d be inclined to give money to. The Little League? Yeah. You get the picture.</p>
<p>Sometimes, I am inclined to help a GROUP trip through SCHOOL and one that is not just asking for donations but is selling something. For instance, here the Sixth Grade Trip has to raise funds to make it more affordable for all and they might have a craft fair or sell XMas wreathes and so on to raise funds for the class trip. That is different to me than an individual raising money so she can go on some summer trip overseas through a program.</p>
<p>Soooo…you guys…my kid is going to Paris for the summer…is anyone here willing to send money to help defray the costs since her internship only pays a stipend? 
We have so many readers here, I am sure I could get her enough money.</p>
<p>JUST KIDDING…</p>
<p>my son is on Capital Hill and was recently robbed. I am only asking for friends to chip in to replace his laptop and Ipod and sunglasses. Do you know how much he loved his sunglasses? And he is going abroad next semester and needs to buy a rail pass…its a once in a lifetime. please send help.</p>
<p>S #2 plays high school football and was told that he had to sell X number of coupon books as a part of the team fundraiser. I wrote a check equal to the amount he had to sell (it wasn’t a huge amount). They told him he still had to sell the books…</p>
<p>Needless, to say I was a bit upset and made a few phone calls.</p>
<p>UMDAD, how would they know that he didn’t sell the books? If it’s not a huge amount, I might have given him the cash and let him give the money saying that he sold the books!</p>
<p>to be fair, our public school is down on its heels and it is sort of pitiful that academic depts peddle discount cards etc to get a budget to do anything. I don’t mind anteing up and getting “something in return”: my problem is I don’t expect my neighbors or the grandparents to ante up. Our kids work, but our view of work is not connected to selling candy bars etc.<br>
Our children also do about ten times more things and have had about ten times more “travel ops” than the generations before them, so the older generation turns a disapproving eye anyway.<br>
One thing I do feel strongly about in a related matter: no school should go on a field trip where there is no scholarship money raised so that every child regardless of income can go without any attention being drawn to how they paid the fees.</p>
<p>Faline2, I agree with you - I don’t mind the fundraising for the school or for the school’s activities. I join the parent’s association, I join the arts association, and so on. I’ll buy the donuts or the Starbucks discount cards, for the school. </p>
<p>And I agree that there needs to be some sort of scholarship fund. In 8th grade, there’s a school trip for 3 or 4 days. Kids on reduced lunch have their trip subsidized quietly, in a similar manner as they apply for the reduced/free lunch program. The high school has free prom tickets for kids who can’t afford them, and the classes all set up a fund to help kids who can’t afford the limos, so that they’re not singled out if they have to show up at prom driven by their parents. It’s all handled discreetly.</p>
<p>
That’s pushing things a bit too far, I think. Next they’ll have a Betsy Johnson prom gown fund for kids who don’t want to be singled out with a gown from Macys or Mandees.</p>
<p>Our town has a great fundraising system for the music departments. There is always fundraising ongoing. Even the wealthiest families take part because it’s great to teach your kids they must earn their way in life. Simple things like candy bar sales. More complicated efforts like catered madrigal feasts complete with great entertainment. (THese kids are literally singing for their supper.) And everything in between. Because the directors believe all kids should have the opportunity to take part in a tour of Europe, or a performance in Hawaii, they make it happen. There is a huge range of income levels here, but nobody is unable to join these great excursions because the fundraising system is a priority. And the kids are earning the $$$, not just sticking a can in someone’s face begging for a donation.</p>
<p>Ah yes, the old bucket drop technique.
The problem with fundraising is that teams figure out really quick that it’s much more productive to stand in front of Publix with a bucket rather than giving half your hard earned popcorn sales money to some corporation.
Sad but true.<br>
You can stand out in front of the grocery store with a bucket and make in one day, four times as much as you make in a month of car washes.
When the boy scouts sell their overpriced snacks, I always just give them a bill and tell them to keep it in their troop account.</p>
<p>Yeah, I can do without the popcorn and candy, too, but there are lots of fundraisers that you get something out of.</p>
<p>Like SS’s town, ours (neighboring to hers) has a very active music program that does worthwhile fundraisers. The major two are a fruit sale (which people actively anticipate, it’s such a town staple) and hosting a band festival, which is a great activity for them in itself, in addition to netting a bunch of profit. Personally the bucket kids drive me nuts, especially when they accost you at five traffic lights in a row. The other activities may take more planning, but the kids learn a lot of skills from them beyond how to beg.</p>
<p>I think the bottom line is that the student should be involved in the fundraising process. It’s the polite and respectful thing to do when asking for fundraising support, and it’s also a great opportunity for students to learn the value of hard work, and life skills like money-management.</p>
<p>More and more, however, we’re seeing parents take the lead role, and I think there are several reasons why. Here are a few I can think of:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Schools are more and more under-funded, and as a result, more and more fundraising is needed. Parents get tired of pushing their kids, and start taking it on themselves.</p></li>
<li><p>There’s a safety concern. It isn’t safe for children to go door-to-door on their own. Unfortunately, even in familiar neighborhoods.</p></li>
<li><p>Many schools encourage parents to get involved to ensure that potential supporters are getting the necessary information, and understanding the purpose of the fundraiser, and parents may take that to mean “You do the fundraiser”.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Fortunately, there are solutions to these 3 issues:</p>
<ol>
<li> Schools can incorporate fundraising events into their efforts. Spaghetti dinners, talent shows, art exhibits, picnics and barbecues, carwashes, and just-for-fun sporting events can be big many makers!<br></li>
</ol>
<p>The best part is that (other than ticket sales in some cases), there is very little outside fundraising to do, and these events can be so much fun that the people who attend and support the event financially, usually end up getting more out of it than they put in.</p>
<ol>
<li> Safety is a big concern. One way around that is, yes, by sending emails and letters by snail-mail. But letters and emails should be personalized! They can come from the parent, but the student should include a special message as well, and the student should be involved in the process. If the school has created a letter that the student simply stuffs in an envelope and sends, then the student should be encouraged to include a personal note as well.</li>
</ol>
<p>Door-to-soor sales really should be a thing of the past for safety reasons, but one idea is to have students team up in groups and be accompanied by an adult. Another option is group sales from a set location where the group gathers together outside of a local business or community center to sell their candy bars or other fundraising product.</p>
<ol>
<li> Whenever they can, parents should get involved! The key phrase being “get involved”, not take over. Schools should certainly encourage parents to take an active role in helping and encouraging their child (and of course, for safety reasons, children should always be supervised durning any fundraiser), but they should make it clear that it is the student’s responsibility to put a significant effort into fundraising.</li>
</ol>
<p>These are just a few ideas… I’m sure there are lots more out there, and of course, not every idea applies to every situation. As for fundraising for a trip, I’d really like to go to Maui next winter, can anyone help support this great cause? Lol!!!</p>
<p>Garland…our music dept. at our HS has an annual fruit sale as well. Those kind of fundraisers allow contributers to get something. </p>
<p>I also am not fond of bucket drops on roadways. This past weekend we took two cars to my mother-in-law’s 80th celebration out of state. In one small town, there was a bucket drop and we had two cars from one family going through it and I feel like we were forced to give (twice no less) and then another time on our way back home.</p>
<p>The issue of safety, however, didn’t pertain to the OP. The email solicitation came from the parent. I think a high school student should have been the one to send out personal requests, not the parent. Safety was a non issue in this case.</p>