<p>What do others think about this? Today I got a mass e-mailing from a good friend which said:</p>
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<p>I wouldn’t mind contributing but I strongly feel that this kid should be doing her own leg work here. They have a telephone and we live a block away and she can’t contact me herself??? </p>
<p>Am I making too big a deal or would others feel the same wayl.</p>
<p>Absolutely agree. The kid needs to be pounding the pavement!</p>
<p>I hate getting those. One of my kid’s sports teams would prepare 10 letters FOR HIM, begging for money- all he had to do was stick them in envelopes and mail them to our family and friends. Needless to say, I didn’t let him do it. </p>
<p>I do, however, fully support the fundraising drives like Relay For Life, because the proceeds, although on behalf of the student participant, go to a worthy cause and fill a societal need.</p>
<p>The program you received a letter about- I would look into it before giving money. Some of these (not all) are nothing more than paid-for junkets that the kids go on. They may spend a couple hours here and there doing some obligatory work, but the rest of the time is spent sightseeing and the like. And the funds raised do not go to the project itself, they go to the kid’s travel expenses. Not saying that’s what this is, but you might want to look into it.</p>
<p>For adults who are friends of the parents but may not know the child well, I think it’s OK in some cases. I know that it’s common for parents to put up a fundraising notice at the office, perhaps, for the child if he’s trying to raise money for something. If the student knows the adults reasonably well, I think he should send the email himself. Also, even if a parent is sending an email, I’d encourage the parent to send the kid’s own written request and just add a little personal note before the attached email. </p>
<p>It is also a little different with something like this when the money is helping people by helping the student versus money that will go directly to a fund, such as a student raising money for a walk or race. In this case when the money is going directly to the student, I’d be more apt to encourage the kid to raise money on his own since it’s his own project. If the kid is raising money for, say, a breast cancer walk, I think it’s more appropriate for parents to approach friends since the money is going to a worthy cause right away.</p>
<p>I cross-posted. I agree with the others. :)</p>
<p>I am ‘somewhat’ familiar with the program because it’s something a lot of kids in our town go on and I’m guessing that the funds do go to the travel expenses. I’m wondering if the program asks parents to do $ requests because two years ago I got a request for the same program, also from a parent. </p>
<p>I’m tempted to write back and say that I’ll buy the tickets if kid e-mails me herself but that seems a little obnoxious- but maybe not more-so than what the friend did.</p>
<p>andi, if it’s someone you know well, you could say that you appreciate that the kid is doing this and would like him/her to come tell you a little more about the program and then you’ll give him the money.</p>
<p>Andi, I agree with you that in this circumstance, the student should have asked you herself.</p>
<p>corranged I see your point about the difference as to whether the kid knows the adults. In this case however, I’ve known the girl since she was born.</p>
<p>And that’s a good idea about a parent adding a note to the kid’s own request. That would have made a difference in my annoyance factor.</p>
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good idea…</p>
<p>Most people here are far kinder than I am. I would have just pressed “delete.”</p>
<p>In my opinion, anyone who is asking a friend for a contribution should have the courtesy to ask the friend directly (not have their parents ask for them) and should do it in a more personal way than e-mail. I also am not impressed by the kind of service projects that the OP described. Charity begins at home. Also, someone too uninvolved to bother soliciting funds for themself is likely not to be working very hard on that service project.</p>
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LOL Can you reach my keyboard??</p>
<p>Northstar, I laughed at your post! I’d have hit delete, too. Many of those programs are not really doing a heck of a lot for the needy townsfolk, anyway. It’s a resume builder for your friend’s kid. Let your friend pay the kid’s way. If you want, you can tell her you sent a donation to the Red Cross, as that is a much more direct way of helping the needy. The Red Cross will send engineers, contractors, and other professionals to get the job done. Not a bunch of kids looking to find a college essay adventure.</p>
<p>^^^^THANKS The delete button it is. And the Red Cross story as well. T’is done.</p>
<p>I was thinking how much easier it is to completely ignore an email than it is to ignore a kid at the door. She’ll probably figure that out too.</p>
<p>How old is the kid in question? I’m guessing old enough to have written his/her own letter? If you live close by, I agree the kid should have come in person to ask. One of my kids did send out a fundraising letter once, but she wrote it herself (no email) and only sent it to people who were not easily accessible (i.e. relatives in other cities, few hours away). For neighbors, etc, she went to their houses.</p>
<p>Just another consideration. At my daughter’s high school, students are NOT allowed to fundraise. They don’t want students going door to door ‘peddling wares’. If there goods involved, the parents must do the peddling. Things like Relay For Life are excluded, but based on this policy, it wouldn’t surprise me at all to get this kind of letter from a parent vs. a child.</p>
<p>I’m not saying I agree or disagree with how this was handled, but just thought you might want to know some groups have specific policies about who can do the official asking for money.</p>
<p>Yes, the kid should do this themselves. DD did a Relay for Life this year at college. She asked me if I knew anyone who might be interested in contributing. I sent her the email addresses and told HER to solicit her own donations. She wrote a very nice letter and some friends and relatives did contribute. Then I sent her snail addresses for thank you notes.</p>
<p>Many people will not open emails from unknowns…so…Because I have an extensive address book with my email, and many connections, I have done this in the past for my kids. BUT…my D or S writes the email and explanation and gives out their contact info. I add a little preface, explaining that my D or S has asked me to send out the email and that anyone interested in learning more should contact D or S directly at their email or phone. If this bothers anyone, they have been too kind to say so.</p>
<p>weenie
You’re right about that. Just reminded me that a couple of weeks ago two boys came to the door selling raffle tickets for the LAX team. I was happy to donate and chat about the team.</p>
<p>prefect the girl is a rising senior. Maybe she should do what the boys did and go around with a partner.</p>
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I suppose it may be possible for this particular charity- but we don’t have that rule for hs kids, just the younger ones.</p>
<p>^^thumper, blucroo- you bring up some good ways of handling that</p>
<p>This kind of thing might bother me if it came from someone using a large address file I happened to be on and the person sending was someone I didn’t know and never heard from otherwise. From a good friend, this doesn’t raise any hackles. I wouldn’t delete the email and ignore the request. Perhaps those of us here in CA, with school budgets starved by Prop13, have grown resigned to endless fund-raising to keep the ECs going in our schools. My friends send me their fund-raising requests; I send them mine. One will buy my kid’s jazz band concert tickets; I’ll buy her son’s soccer team raffle tickets and so on. </p>
<p>I suppose for a special project like this, it would be better to see more effort on the part of the kid since it does sound like the kind of thing that will end up on a brag sheet for college admissions. Still, if it were me I’d send a reply for the student to come on by and pick up my donation.</p>