Anecdote: my sister was really unhappy about her daughter’s first choice school, a huge, competitive, urban school my sister thought wouldn’t be a good fit for this shy, anxiety-prone young woman who seemed intimidated by the big cities she visited.
My sister and her husband came up with all kinds of good reasons why the girl should pick a smaller, more out-of-the-way campus that also offered the girl’s sport as a high-level club, and a substantial scholarship.
They presented all their reasons, the girl heard them, but still picked the huge urban campus. Fast forward four years and she graduated summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa. She was still shy - but not AS shy as she was as a high schooler - and still somewhat anxiety prone - but clearly could control it well enough to perform superbly in college. She celebrated her graduation by going to Europe with several friends.
My sister listened to her gut, and was wrong. Her daughter listened to her gut, and was right. She felt the school would help her grow as a person, and boy did it ever.
So OP, I know you have a say as a parent, and as someone who will be paying. And you DO have valid reasons for your concern. But maybe this is a time to go against your gut and let your son make the decision. He may surprise you and blossom. And if he doesn’t - well, there are no guarantees. He may not blossom at the school of your choice, either.
Wishing you all the best.