<p>One of H’s aunts has been ill for some time. They don’t live here and we only see them occasionally, but often enough to be fond of one another. Anyway, this afternoon her husband shot her and then killed himself. When we got the call I was sucking wind for a good 15 minutes. As much as you remind yourself that bad things don’t just happen to other people, it still comes as a shock when they happen close to home. :(</p>
<p>Still pretty much at a loss for words. Kids are just concerned for their g-ma…</p>
<p>The father of a kid I knew in the neighborhood - decades ago - killed himself. I can’t remember anyone ever saying much of anything about it. Is there anything you can say? I don’t know what it would be. The mother of another guy ran over a bunch of kids at the school bus stop down the street. Killed a friend of mine. I don’t remember anyone saying anything to him about it. I suppose someone must have said something because he was a nice kid and it wasn’t his fault but sometimes there isn’t anything to say. </p>
<p>There was an old man, a close friend of my grandfather’s. At my grandfather’s funeral, he reached in his pocket and held out a pack of pep-o-mint life savers. I took one. That was the right thing to say.</p>
<p>I am so sorry you are going through this pain.</p>
<p>I do identify with it.</p>
<p>One Easter about twenty years ago I looked at the newspaper and saw a full page photo of ex-sister-in-law on the cover. She and her two children had died the night before in a house fire. She was an ex-family member, yes, but I’d met her when she was 11. The shock was overwhelming.</p>
<p>Wishing all who have lost loved ones peace and healing. So sorry to hear about these tragedies. I’m sure survivors would love to hear/read about happier times with these loved ones.</p>
<p>Hugs to you. This is so hard. My kids have been through this several times, not with family, but with close friends. When they were young they had one friend whose mother was killed in a spectacular auto accident where there was a strong suspicion of alcohol and speed involvement. Another family of friends fled out of the country without warning ahead of criminal fraud charges in the family business. More recently they have had both a teenage friend and the father of another friend commit suicide. Another friend went through a brutal but successful trial to prosecute a teacher who had sexually abused her, and still another friend was accused of gun running for her imprisoned boyfriend’s gang. Each of these incidents played out very publicly in the media. It is never easy, but they have learned to take what is said with a grain of salt, and hold fast to what they know of their friends, regardless of what is said about them in the press. They have also learned to keep quiet about knowing the people in the story as much as possible. It never helps to have to talk about it to the randomly curious.</p>
<p>My condolences to your family- it’s so shocking baffling when something like this happens, and there is often the feeling of guilt for those close to the tragedy that’s also hard to bear. Take care of yourselves. :(</p>
<p>Thanks to everyone. It’s a difficult thing and such mixed feelings. The kids have seen their share of bad events, but this is the first murder. ( I guess I should be glad we don’t live in the inner city.)</p>
<p>On the day my daughter went to an interview at one of top colleges, we got a call in the reception area from my husband’s friend warning him that his nephew, who had struggled with addiction for a couple of years, had been arrested on very serious charges and it was splashed across the front page of our local newspaper and its website. I thought my husband was going to have a heart attack. His knees literally buckled.</p>
<p>One of my husband’s best friends from HS was convicted of manslaughter in the “shaken baby syndrome” death of his 4 yo daughter. It went on for several appeals and was all over the news. Very difficult to watch. </p>
<p>When my 88 yo grandfather got his terminal cancer dx he went home, had a great dinner, then shot himself in the head before dawn. My dad was staying with him at the time and rushed in upon hearing the bang. :(</p>
<p>I am so sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose those we love, but especially so when the circumstances are so difficult.</p>
<p>Recently in our area, a son and his friend beat his family for drug money. The father died, and the mother and one brother were seriously injured. The situation was unimaginable. Although I don’t know the family, several people I know, do. It is just beyond comprehension. We read about these things, but never expect to be close to the situation or even a part of it.</p>
<p>kelsmom-- I know exactly who you’re talking about. I work in the area and we are planning a move there… we don’t know anybody that is involved with the family, but it was still like a kick in the stomach just to see the city’s name in the headlines and know that something like that happened here. I’ve never seen a whole community so wracked with grief. It was so, so deeply saddening to me that the mother and brother couldn’t be at the father’s funeral, and that the children who were unharmed had to go through that without their mom and brother. I have been glad to see the media attention dying down a tiny bit… that family has enough to worry about without being in the news.</p>
<p>The extended family and friends are unbelievable … the family has received so much love, care, and attention. The heart-breaking thing to me was that the mom told her son she loved him, and if he stopped they would give him whatever he wanted … and the unhurt son told the people at his dad’s funeral that his father loved ALL of his children. Wow. Some folks are truly amazing.</p>