My daughter, 29 and recently married, called this evening at 9:00. This was unusual as she was in South Africa for business, so it was 3:00am there. She has an anaphylactic allergy to peanut, and a milder allergy to soy. Seems she had been up for several hours sick, and thought she might have food poisoning, but was afraid she was having an allergic reaction, and wanted me to call her every hour to make sure she was alive. Her guess is something she ate most likely had soy protein or powder in it, and while usually that would cause itchy throat and mouth, she was afraid she might have a more severe reaction over night. Not exactly sure what I could do from across the globe, but it made her feel better to call me.
What I found funny, was that she called me and not her husband! Granted, it was only 9:00pm here, and 2:00am in London where they live. My SIL can be a bit cranky if he doesn’t sleep, but I really think my daughter didn’t even think to call him; I could be really wrong.
I am thinking she will be cancelling her meetings in the morning which could be a huge problem since she flies out tomorrow evening. Oh well, not my problem, although I bet I will hear about it when her boss gives her grief about it!
Has anyone else had a request from their adult child that you thought they might have outgrown?
I hope your D is OK and am glad she knew she could turn to you.
I know that when D sees a new MD, she liked it if we can be there too, even if we are all flying from different cities to see the MD. Some things are just easiest to use the tried and true, old and familiar. On a twist, D insisted on accompanying me (and H) when I flew to see my Denver MD, for a round of testing and re-evaluation. She stayed with us for nearly a week and asked many helpful questions and impressed my doctor (who has been treating me for the past 16 years). She also met my MDs at Stanford and UCSF.
That’s nice @snowball! We moms like to feel needed once in awhile. I’d be sure to tell her that as she might feel bad that she might have been bothering you.
I know that sometimes it good to call mom. She lives far enough away that you won’t complain like the SO would. Besides you probably have more experience with her peanut allergy and dealing with it than her H.
Doesn’t look like it was an allergic reaction, although it could have been from soy flour. She is still a bit queasy today, and tried to get a late check out at her hotel, as she was flying out today, but they wouldn’t give it to her; even after she threw up in the lobby They did allow her to lounge on a sofa until her driver came to pick her up.
She has a two hour flight to another city in South Africa which she is currently on; curious how that is going. I feel sorry for the person sitting next to her if she gets sick again!
I still get calls from my grown kids about medical stuff, but I think it’s less an issue of needing Mom and more a realization that I have more person-years of experience in dealing with medical stuff than anyone else in their lives does. After all, I’m a lot older than they are, and I managed all their medical stuff as well as my own until they were 18.
Yes, I am their medical historian and they realize that I’ve had to deal with my complex medical issues, as well as theirs for decades. They also recognize that I’ve deal with insurers, providers, pharmacists, and can do medical research as needed. It works for them and me. My folks also ask me medical questions, tho they have 3 MDs and a dentist in the family–I will research what they need to know and let them know the response quickly, even if it involves a call to a friendly local pharmacist.
When my kids were little and didn’t feel well at night, they would come to stand on my side of bed and stare at me until I woke up. It would startle me to have someone stare down at me. I asked them why they didn’t just call out to me. They said, “I didn’t want to wake you.” (really?!) I asked them why they never stood on their dad’s side of bed. They said, “What could Dad do?”
They still call me whenever something bad happens. It could be “why I can’t stop the faucet from running” to “could you call the hotel to ask them to give me the refund” and “my BF just broke up with me.” I am trying to get them to call me when something good happens.
I’m grateful my kids never did that. They were more into moaning–that would get me to their side quickly. I wouldn’t like anyone looming over me, even a dear child.
All of our kids still ask us for our advise or opinion about various things. I truly am grateful that they still value our opinion. But I must admit, when I get a phone call at work or early in the morning or late at night and the kid says " Do you have a moment?" my heart skips three beats.
I have heard-I have xyz medical condition…I was fired…He broke up with me …All have taken their toll on me mentally.
But the hardest one was when D2 did not share. Last spring she had a very bad reaction to a newly perscribed prescription drug. She went into a deep depression. She came home for one weekend to talk about it, but didn’t because we were dealing with another issue with her brother who is being treated with depression. She “didn’t want to add to our burden.” I knew something was wrong but I thought it had to do with her boyfriend. She ended up having to take a two week disability break, doctor ordered, to get well after stopping the medication. She did take the two weeks, eventually got better and went back to work. But it was never the same and she was ultimately let go.
Some times life sucks. Other times you remember how much your kids need you and you smile.
Bad drug reactions are very nasty. Sadly, we can’t always know, especially when our kids choose not to share.
D didn’t tell us when she had a tough time with SisIL’s death, which affected D’s health and grades. We only learned when it was too late to salvage anything other than give D lots of hugs and TLC. It ended up costing us an extra year of tuition.
Just got off the phone with my daughter as she was in a taxi at 4:30am leaving the hospital. After two days of vomiting and diarrhea,sorry for being graphic, she had enough! She was not able to lead her conference this morning and after trying to hydrate and eating a very small amount, she said the cramping was just too much.
While at the hospital she received some fluids and meds and now back at her hotel. Hopefully, she will be able to fly home tomorrow, but it a bit afraid of being on the plane for 11 hours, plus the travel to and from the airports with limited bathroom availability. Work said she could stay another day if needed, although she would love to be home.
So mommy and daddy held her virtual hand while at the hospital and the taxi ride back. She said the taxi was not the safest looking at 4:30am in South Africa so if I would stay on the phone during the ride back to the hotel, she would appreciate it. Company policy is she doesn’t live the hotel complex unless driven by her driver; for some reason she went alone by taxi. Of course all was fine, but mom here would have preferred she had not been alone and that a co worker had been with her.
@snowball I hope your daughter is better soon! Sucks to be sick but even more so when so far from home!
I don’t know if she has but most quality hotels are good resources for seeking out quality medical care. She shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to hotel management if she needs to.
I agree that, should she need help, she really should check with hotel management. I’m not sure where she is in South Africa but I took a bad spill in Capetown a couple years ago and only asked for help the next morning when I was inquiring where to find a pharmacy to pick up some supplies. The person at the front desk was very concerned and, IIRC, they sent someone with me to the pharmacy to make sure I got what I needed. In retrospect, I believe I should have had stitches and might have had a very minor concussion but didn’t say anything until the next morning when things didn’t seem as acute. I have a scar that I’m sure is worse since I didn’t have stitches as a souvenir from what, otherwise, was a great trip.
I’m very sorry your D is sick, @snowball, and hope she feels better very, very soon.
Being sick far from home is always miserable. I’m glad her office is allowing her to stay until she’s well enough to travel. Sending healing thoughts to all.
Agree hotels are likely a good source for medical help. Dehydration is scary–IVs can literally be a lifesaver, especially when fluids aren’t staying in the body. D had to have IVs when she was very ill and dehydrated. Wishing your D a speedy and full recovery.
Oh no @snowball. How hard to be sick so far from home! Do you think it’s from her peanut allergy or a terrible virus? Here’s some prayers that she gets home without being too sick. Ugh!
Besides you probably have more experience with her peanut allergy and dealing with it than her H.
They did allow her to lounge on a sofa until her driver came to pick her up.
