<p>I’m curious and asking here since more likely the people are established in their lives and well in their adulthood. </p>
<p>I’m a junior in college and I’ve known my friends for 7+ years at this point but I feel like I’m growing up faster and that definitely makes us grow apart. My mom told me this eventually happens to everyone once you hit this age since some people go out and work towards their careers and others don’t – people just have different goals in life and that pushes even childhood friends apart.</p>
<p>I wanted to know when and how adults meet their friends that stayed until adulthood? </p>
<p>I have two friends I’ve been close to since we were twelve, so over 4 decades. We met in JR high, GS and intramurals. Have met others in HS and college and beyond. Some have remained my friend and others have drifted. Have remained friends with sibs and inlaws for decades as well. </p>
<p>Post above asks a good question. If you answer, it may lead to answers more relevant to pew hat you’re trying to learn. </p>
<p>My best friend in the world I met when I was six and she was five. She lives about 10 hours away from me now (she’s on a godforsaken island off the coast of Maine) but whenever we talk on the phone or get together, it’s as if we’ve had an absence of maybe 24 hours.</p>
<p>But the people I’m friends with now are people who are the parents of my kids’ friends. We also have some good friends whom we met at the dog park. I particularly like that group of people because they are older, younger and just plain different than we are, and we never would have met them if not for the dog park.</p>
<p>ETA: And then of course there’s my sister. I met her when I was born. </p>
<p>I met my husband when I was 18 at a local park. Ive met several of my women friends through our kids schools. Ive met other friends through classes or volunteer opportunities, or friends of friends, or neighbors, or shared interests like the TenClub.
In short, you can meet people anywhere.
I meet the most people when I am doing an activity or event by myself, much harder when I go with someone else.
Also I am both introverted & shy, but you really only need very basic social skills to meet people although it takes a bit more effort to develop a friendship.
I am also still making new friends. Recently I have become pretty good friends with someone I met in an exercise class. We are planning a spring adventure.</p>
<p>Throughout my life. Some of my close friends I just met not long ago. I also have friends from childhood and from every stage of my life, and everywhere we have lived. No pattern at all. </p>
<p>Have one friend left from high school. Met a number of women in college who I am still close friends with although none of us live less than 2 hours from each other, and some much more. Those very close friendships, I believe, are the result of having attended a women’s college. Met my “close by” adult friends when my oldest child was 2 years old. We met as nursery school parents and are still a close group 25+ years later.</p>
<p>I’ve been friends with my best friend since Jr. High. We stayed such close friends over the years because we both grew in similar directions. Other friends have come and gone as we shared interests at some point, but moved on. It is unique to have a friend who you feel close to for so long, and I feel very fortunate!</p>
<p>I have a few friends from growing up near the area where I live today and a few friends from my current town and that I have met through my kids. But the majority of people I would consider close friends are sorority sisters from my college days, 27 years ago. And I had only joined during my junior year, so we only overlapped by a year or two, but that sorority bond gave a structure to our connection that did not exist with friends I met in classes, in the dorms, etc.</p>
<p>My H’s best buddy is one he attended kindergarten with. Most of his other buddies are from Jaycees, which he was active in for decades. He has also become friends with my friends and their spouses, as well as my extended family and in-laws. </p>
<p>Honestly I don’t have that many close friends now. I wish I weren’t as scattered from my best friends from high school - we really connect in a way I don’t with anyone currently. My best friend who lives nearby I met in La Leche League and our kids were in the same schools. I have other friends who I also know through the PTA. I have a set of friends from the local art associations. I have another bunch of friends from our religious organization. (One that I really like - I play Scrabble with her every day.) And finally I have friends from the neighborhood association. </p>
<p>My longtime friends tend to come from 4 sources…my Catholic school years (elementary and high school), college sorority/fraternity little sister, church, and neighbors. Some of my longterm friends come from the same 2-3 sources. Some of my longtime friends when to school with me, went to college with me, and joined the same sorority (or fraternity where I was a little sis). We were kind of an incestuous bunch, with some marrying each other as well. It’s all very intertwined. One of my (real) sisters married the brother of one of my sorority sisters who I also went to high school and cheered with. </p>
<p>My closest friend now I met when our kids were taking riding lessons together, about 25 years ago. She is such a wonderful, giving, caring human being. And her husband is the same. Even though our kids are grown and some married, we don’t see each other as much as we would like as we both still work in the field that brought us together - horses. And this weather is exhausting for that.</p>
<p>I had some other fairly close friends through my kids as they were going through school. However, that seemed to end when the kids graduated and went in different directions. We also had a rash of divorces in our small town after my last one graduated. It seemed like they all waited til their kids finished school. Very sad for so many in such a small group.</p>
<p>I met my other best friend in college and she introduced my H and me. Her H is one of my H’s best friends. But again, we don’t get to see each other that often. </p>
<p>College roomies. But besties (bff and DH,) grad school dorm. More recently, DH’s former co-worker. DH’s best friend was from kindergarten, too. But it helped that their parents became very close over the years, to the end. </p>
<p>My closest friends are pretty scattered. True best friiend I met the first day of college. One local that I met when D1 was in kindergarten (her kid in the same grade). My third best friend was a guy from high school that I met through a summer program and worked summers with for several years during college. He died unexpectedly quite recently, and I am missing him a lot. :(</p>
<p>My BFF is from our Unitarian High School group, LRY, if there are any old UUs of a certain demographic on here!
We live in separate cities, separate parts of the country, but see each other every year or so, and talk often. Similar age kids and life circumstances have kept us tight. As I moved when I was pregnant, all my closest local friends have kids the same age as mine, or are my ex H’s grad school contemporaries. </p>
<p>What I’m wondering, is whether moving in one’s '60s to a retirement location can cause a massive sparking of new friendships. As I am contemplating such a move, am questioning the isolation potential in that phase of life. </p>
<p>I am best friends with two women I met in high school. One of them was my pledge mother in college as well. Two other dear friends I met through my sorority in college. Our good friends are people that I met with our kids…one on a cruiseship (yes, true) and one…here. (But for clarity she has a cousin who knows us as well.</p>
<p>I have held on to a few friends from all pieces of my life, but have moved a lot, so I don’t get to see them often. The oldest friends I still am in touch with are from middle school. We had common interests then in vague sorts of ways like “science” or “social justice” or “politics.” Some of the best friends I made were when I was in college. </p>
<p>Because we have moved a lot, I have had to make new friends every few years. It isn’t easy for me, a quiet, nerdy introvert, but with practice it is getting easier. I look for common activity friends: people who like to read or run or swim. I will join groups now in new places to get out and meet people. </p>
<p>For the last twenty years or so I have had "mommy friends,"friends I made through my kids at my kids’ activities. </p>
<p>Great Lakes Mom, I wonder about making friends after my next move, for my next stage in life as well. I know better what I have to do to make new friends, but I dread having to leave the comfortable circle I have now. No, we currently do not have plans to move, but I bet we will move again and I will have to start over. </p>
<p>It does seem like there are times in your life when it is easier to make friends without effort. High school is one time, as is when you go away to college. My first jobs were good for making friends: lots of young people in a new place excited about starting a new phase in their lives. Some periods in motherhood are like that, too. </p>
<p>@Niquii77: I meant the second one. Typing on my phone makes for errors, sorry!
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<p>It seems many of you met your friends in college! I’m scared as I only have three semesters left and I didn’t make new friends – instead I’ve been with my high school/middle school friends and only now growing apart. Luckily I just joined a sorority so I hope this goes well! @GoldenWest gives me hope as I thought joining in my junior year wouldn’t be a good idea. </p>
<p>I met my closest friend at a newcomers club meeting. I asked her when her baby was due and she told me her daughter was 6 weeks old. Oops - we still laugh about it. Our daughter’s were close in age and were friends. When her baby son was diagnosed with liver cancer at 3 months old we became even closer as her husband was pretty useless and she needed a lot of emotional and physical support. She moved several hundred miles away about 17 years ago but we have stayed close. Then when my husband was diagnosed with low survival cancer, she insisted we come to Houston and go to M D Anderson, gave us the keys to her house and told us it was our home. He is in remission so back to seeing her only every 6 months, but whenever we see each other or talk on the phone, it is like we were together yesterday. Wish we lived closer. </p>
<p>I don’t have any close friends where I live now - just some friendly acquaintances. I have had some good friends here but none from here and they all eventually moved elsewhere and I got kind of tired of making new friends only to see them leave. It is difficult to make friends with the locals - they are very friendly, but in a superficial sort of way. </p>