<p>I could use some advice and handholding from experienced parents. Freshman son flew out to begin college on Tuesday, wasn’t looking 100 percent when husband left him Wednesday morning. Didn’t hear from him until Friday, had just left the health service with a bunch of medications, has a bronchitis type illness and just wanted to check in with us. Sounded suprisingly chipper between coughing fits, still doing alot of orientation activities, hanging out with new people, etc. We haven’t heard from him again. I’ve sent emails,trust me, my son always checks his email,no response. I did send a care package after the call Friday (mostly to make ME feel better). I am trying very hard not to call, our agreement before he left was to communicate by email, and when I spoke with him Friday told him to call or email to let us know how he is feeling.<br>
Do I sit this out? I’m not worried about him healthwise, sounds like he got good care at the clinic and probably has same thing my daughter is now recupping from. Will just take time to get better. I just want to give him some sick child mothering, I wan’t prepared to stop doing this so soon. The sensible part of me thinks he did a good job handling being sick and I don’t want to take that independence away by checking up on him. But, it’s hard feeling so powerless. Any suggestions what to do would be appreciated.</p>
<p>I was in a similar situation in the Spring. Just call, tell him you know he is doing everything he should do. You are just a worried mom. He is probably feeling lots better and out making more friends. Do make sure he is taking his meds. When son had bronchitis, the PA gave him some medications and an expensive RX which he did not fill for 2 days. The health center didn’t carry the antibiotic and son was too tired to get it filled. I talked with him but didn’t think to ask if anything needed to be filled :(.</p>
<p>Please update us.</p>
<p>Well, call me overprotective if you want, but if my kid were sick the first week away from home, I would call to see how he’s feeling. You care, and you’re concerned: wouldn’t you check in on <em>any</em> close family member who was ill? Why should new-college-student be any different in this regard? If you call to see how he’s feeling and he gets annoyed, you’ll know how to moderate your response in future. You’re not calling to give him direction and take away his independence: you’re calling to get a health update from someone who was just given “a bunch of medications” to take. Anyway, that’s what I’d do. I hope he’s feeling better soon! (And you, too! We all know Mom’s care is often the best, but we also know it’s not possible from so far away. Good for you, sending a little care package! I’m sure it will be appreciated.)</p>
<p>Well, I just called, he’s still coughing alot, sitting in his room not doing much sounding a bit miserable to me. There aren’t any planned activities today and I think he is too tired to initiate anything. Classes start tomorrow. I have a knot in my stomach now, but we told him we’ll call again later tonight.</p>
<p>Second spring:</p>
<p>The first week of classes, not a great deal happens. As long as he manages to pick up some syllabi and shop for classes–if he is at a college where there is a shopping period, he won’t have missed very much. If he is still feeling under the weather toward the end of the week, he should let his instructors know. But he’ll have Labor Day weekend to recover. </p>
<p>Don’t worry too much!</p>
<p>So glad to hear you called, Second Spring. It was good for you and your son. My older daughter, who made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want me calling frequently, was suddenly happy to hear my voice everyday while she had mono last spring. Even for a young adult, it is still comforting to know Mom is there when you are sick.</p>
<p>I know how hard it is to worry long distance. Hang in there!</p>
<p>Thank you all for your help. Just called son again, little sister who got him sick in the first place, took the phone, they ended up having a long hysterical conversation with roommate joining in. Funny how this works, they can be at each other’s throats, but then are there for each other when it’s needed.<br>
At least I won’t go to sleep with the imagine of a lonely, sick son hundreds of miles away. We’ll be calling again tomorrow.</p>
<p>Glad you were able to get a worry-free night of sleep.</p>
<p>Thanks for your interest lamom. The latest update-son called yesterday so we would stop worrying and thank us for care package. Had just left health service after having a follow up visit and getting medication refills. Feeling (and sounding)alot better, liking classes, roommate and making friends. Sounded plain old happy.</p>
<p>Having son get sick was one of my nightmares before sending him so far away.Seeing how both he and health service responded is giving me confidence about the distance. Just didn’t expect this to happen the first week.</p>
<p>A few weeks from now, when your son is totally back to normal, you might want to compliment him on how well he coped with the illness situation.</p>
<p>I mean, getting sick at college is a lot more annoying than getting sick at home. You have to drag yourself to another building in order to get anything to eat, you have to walk to the doctor’s office and the pharmacy, and you live in a shared room – which is tough if you’re coughing all night or if you would like to sleep during the day. </p>
<p>Besides, he actually kept the follow-up appointment! I’m impressed.</p>
<p>second spring,
Glad to hear your son is on the mend. They all get sick first semester - but, cripe, not usually during orientation! That stinks! </p>
<p>I agree with Marian, it’s great he made his way to the infirmary. This is my son’s second year and in spite of having a few medical issues last year he JUST found out where the infirmary is (we drove by it on the way to move him in last Saturday – I pointed it out!). Instead of going to the infirmary he relied on his friend who is an EMT to diagnose him. (A virus, a sprain, a wrecked toe nail…) Dumb!</p>
<p>My daughter became very ill with what appeared to be the flu during January of the sophomore year. That was probably the most trying time of her college experience thus far. The health services were very good to her, yet her dad ended up driving to pick her up and kept her in a hotel room overnight before driving her home for a recovery weekend.</p>
<p>During her illness, she missed a huge test that had to be made up with a professor who didn’t know her well enough yet to realize how conscientious she is with her schoolwork. She got the impression that he felt like she was cutting class to avoid the test even though she had gone through the proper channels to get a dean’s excuse for her absence. When she showed up for the makeup test, however, and he saw her pale face and blood-shot eyes, that professor immediately let her know that he had misjudged her. He ended up being one of her favorite professors and is now her advisor. Then, she actually had to make up her missed dance classes (which she did) in order to get a decent grade in the course (and that was an optional, just for fun course). That professor still expected her to come sit and observe her regular class even though she could not get out of bed. She did not make the grade that she expected in that class, and really still feels that the professor did not believe how sick she was. Because of that experience, she will probably not take another dance class there even though she is a trained dancer; she will just stick to her performing dance club instead.</p>
<p>The important thing is that she did get well and has (so far) not experienced any more major health problems in college. Fortunately, as far as food services go, her school does have many delivery to the dorm options from local restaurants that come right off the meal plan! She did not have to set food outside the dorm to get her meals.</p>
<p>Being sick at college is definitely one of those growing up experiences that makes your kid come out even more independent and secure with being on his own. Unfortunately, it is so trying on the parents when it happens! I’m so glad, Second Spring, that the worst is behind you all now and that your son is having a wonderful freshman experience.</p>
<p>Interesting time indeed.
Before son left I did make up a large baggie full of Tylenol, thermometer, bandaids, Robitussin, etc. Went thru a decision tree with him when to use what and when to get medical help. (I’m a nurse and have done a stint as a school nurse so just thought of a bunch of scenarios that are common).Talked about things such as low grade fever and runny nose vs. sudden onset fever and painfully sore throat. Bilateral itchy pinkish eyes vs. waking up with crusty red eye that has alot of discharge. Cuts that need bandaids vs. stitches., etc.
Glad I did this, dawned on me how little judgement he had in this area and needed concrete if you have symptom A&B you need to do X, Y and Z.</p>
<p>We should all have our kids call you when they’re sick, Second Spring. You could save them from lots of unnecessary hours spent waiting and waiting in the infirmary.</p>
<p>Oops! Typo - and I’m a perfectionist from a long way back with my typing. I meant to say that my d did not have to set “foot” outside her dorm, not “food.”</p>
<p>memie-so sorry to hear about your daughter’s experience . I can certainly understand your bringing her home. How unfortunate about the dance class. Shame on that professor for expecting this obviously ill(and contagious) child to sit in the class. Geez.</p>
<p>Marian-oh yes, have them call! Actually, I live right next to the drugstore Boston University students use to fill prescriptions. I see these poor kids stumbling in wearing pajama bottoms, getting cans of soup, boxes of tissues, etc. while they coughing, sneezing and wheezing wait for their medications. I just want to scoop them up and bring them home with me, give them some mothering and TLC. They just look so miserable.</p>
<p>Second spring’s approach of teaching her S a few basics about when to go to the health center is a great idea. I always advocate for a health care box to be sent with college students. My D was a long way away from a drugstore in her freshman dorm with only a bike for transportation. The kids need those cold supplies BEFORE they get sick.</p>
<p>My D got very sick fall of her junior year. She was a camp counselor and arrived home on Sat., flew to college Sun., and got sick on Mon. (first day of class). (Sudden onset, terrible sore throat.) She was given a strep test but sent away with no prescription to await results. By Thurs. she was very sick but still dragging herself to class. I called the health center and described problem, got her an immediate appt., and she saw the dr. that day. He looked in her very infected throat and said, “Oh, geez!” The dr. said it was amazing that she was still attending class. She got antibiotics but by then the infection (strep) had a big start. After the antibiotics were done, the infection came back and she had to have a stronger antibiotic. </p>
<p>This illness came at the same time as a very painful breakup with her summer romance and a very hard schedule with three lab classes. Things went downhill all fall and she had to go to counseling and go on antidepressants. It was a terrible semester. </p>
<p>My advice is to stay on top of a college student who is sick, because they don’t have the life experience to judge the severity of the situation and get the help they may need.</p>