<p>I feel like a slacker, living on the East Coast with a kid “only” in Chicago. Not a lot of visits, some phone calls and emails, and lots of facebook stalking by mom!</p>
<p>Somewhat related question – I’m not suggesting that your kids need permission but at what age would you advise them to settle for what is known/professionally prudent, rather than pursuing some other opportunity that may be riskier? 25? 30? 35? I’m referring to a young adult who has pursued Ivy undergrad/grad degrees, is professionally successful, has a good amount of money saved up given his age and now wants to make a career move to a brand new city, where opportunities for his particular interests are not as great and when all of his networks/connections are in the current city. No real reason for moving to the new city except he always wanted to live there (though knows almost no one) and no longer likes the lifestyle of his current city. He doesn’t have a spouse/GF keeping him in the current city, nor does he own a home so there are no issues except maybe breaking a lease. Would you say – just do it and see what happens or would you say stay put, even if you’re not 100% happy. The other city would be 3+ hrs from “home” though the current city is 2+ hrs, so it’s not a huge difference.</p>
<p>IF my kid asked my advice, I would suggest they consider the down sides of each choice, if they stay where it is safe and life does not go as expected, would they regret not pursuing the other city? If they moved to the new town and watched their company replacement have a stellar rise to power yet they stalled out or lost their job and came back to city #1 in 5 years, would they regret they had not stayed put?</p>
<p>I know too many people our age (50-60) who followed the advice/insistence of others and things still did not go as planned, but by the time that was apparent, they could never go back and pursue those missed opportunities- at least not responsibly! If you are going to have regrets, they should be for mistakes you chose, not ones which were chosen for you.</p>
<p>If he is weighing the options, he should try to imagine the worst case scenarios and decide if he is willing to live with that possibility; if so, go for it!</p>
<p>Just go! When I lived in AZ and CA, I saw the mid westerners and east coast folks come to try out a new part of the country. Some stayed, some returned, knowing that they really valued living with family close by. But at least they’d tried, and figured out priorities. I see folks now that I live in the midwest, speaking wistfully of trying a new place. They need to go, and will be far more settled if they return, or happier if they really prefer the new location. Of course some always have grass is greener syndrome, but I still think is worth trying.</p>
<p>PS: Like GLM says, we have encouraged our kids to range far & wide and try any far away opportunity that they could. It’s fine to live in your home town, but it is nice to have been somewhere else for a while before choosing it for life.</p>
<p>That said, I deliberately chose not to relocate to Europe immediately after college graduation due to family illness issues. No one ever asked me to do so, but it just felt wrong.</p>
<p>One of my Ds has been living in the UK for almost 4 years now. Although I’d love to have her close by, we are fortunate that she tends to get home every six weeks or so. My other 4 Ds all live here so I can’t complain. The one who is away talks, Skypes, texts, or emails with one or more of us daily. My girls are very close so they like to keep in touch. I think the hardest part for my UK D is not being able to see her niece more often! We’ve all visited her which has been great fun so it’s worked out pretty well for us. She will likely be back home within the next 6-9 months, though, since she’s had a couple of enticing offers here. We’ll all be happy when that happens.</p>
<p>DD lived in Turkey for 3 years. Skype is what kept us linked!!!</p>
<p><sigh> Will be in S’s area in a few weeks & asked him if he’ll be in town. He says he doesn’t know. Oh well, will make plans without him & if he is able to connect with me fine. If not, that’s fine as well. I have another great friend in DC, plus one of my best friends makes fairly frequent visits there. I will be in DC with several organizations as well, so may not have all that much free time. Oh well, I think S’s life is still unfolding.</sigh></p>
<p>When I was 25, I married my army officer husband and moved to Germany for three years. I saw my mom once in three years, but talked to her once a month. We did not see my in-laws at all in three years and I do not know how often DH talked to his parents. Since my kids are 18 and 21, I catch myself thinking about how absolutely devastated I will be if my kids are a crazy independent as I was (am).</p>
<p>We miss our son something fierce…He is on a contract in the UE that has another year and 5 months to go. Could you tell I am counting the days until he comes home. It is a great job and I do fear that even when his contract ends that he will often be working in that region of the world. Besides missing him we worry about his safety (he assures us he is fine) and the lack of normal American things like dating and eventual marraige. He was fine for about the first 3 months but is already tired of missing the family and enjoying a healthy, normal 22 year old life. He also said the weather is brutal…he is a skiier and outdoor type of guy so there is not much for him to do. </p>
<p>We will see him this July for three weeks and I can’t wait. We are practically counting the days on the calendar…actually we are counting.</p>