It’s tricky even from campus visits to know what’s truly going on at these schools.
I did a campus visit to one that seemed fine and then happened upon social media posts alluding to assaults and bullying that were being swept under the rug.
I’m not American so I don’t know what social media apps to go see what students are saying amongst themselves (more honest depictions than meeting a prefect in front of an admissions officer during a tour). From what I can tell, it’s not happening on Instagram.
Ideally there would be some app all the teens use and I can download it, type in the school’s name and find all the pics and videos that students upload of themselves either being upstanding citizens or doing bong rips and fighting.
As a parent, I got a more balanced view by talking to other parents. Don’t believe everything you see on social media. At most schools there will be enough people that you can either find trouble or find a group that wants nothing to do with it .
You definitely have to talk to people. People are uncomfortable giving written criticisms, but a long phone conversation will definitely reveal a lot about the school.
My kid’s boarding school expelled several students for illegal on-campus drug use.
There is some 'bullying" but it’s mild, and every kid has a friend group. Lots of safe spaces for kids to hang out, and free counseling. Lots of noncompetitive school activities for everyone in the community.
So there is enforcement and attention to social strife, but it’s done quietly.
I suspect that schools would dislike a centrally located resource for this information, as they dislike advertising their dirty laundry, and have to protect the privacy of (mostly) minor students.
Furthermore, students would do well to try and not broadcast their misdeeds too flagrantly. Even somewhat permissive schools will enforce rules if someone is exceptionally in-your-face.