Dh and I finally are working on our wills. The lawyer has asked us to come up with what she calls the Titanic scenario … If dh and I die together along with our kids, and assuming there are no grandkids yet, decide where we would want our money to go.
I’m curious … assuming you’ve done a will and went through the same exercise, where did you say you wanted your money to go? Siblings? Nieces and nephews? Charity? Friends?
Right now, DH’s is to his mother, but he knows he needs to change that. He needs to make sure if her husband of 10 years survives her, he doesn’t get it. He will make his 2 siblings his beneficiaries. Our most recent will was before she married.
Right now, mine will go to my 2 siblings since my Mom is gone. But I have since become estranged from one and not close at all to the other, who is an idiot. But I feel sorry for him.
I need to change mine soon, also. At first I was considering leaving mine equally to nieces and nephews. But since my brother doesn’t have a job and all sorts of issues, I might consider leaving it in a trust where he gets an annual sum during his lifetime, but that’s it. After his death, then it would get distributed to nieces and nephews in total. The thing is I’m not close to any of them either, just feel sorry for them for having a crappy Dad.
I think it depends on your family situation. DH and I are close with our sibs and neither is particularly wealthy so we have them (or their kids if they predecease) in the unlikely event we have no surviving kids or grandkids. That may change as we get older and everyone’s situation changes.
We just update our wills and talked about the titanic scenario. Nieces and nephews first. Then if they or their descendants aren’t alive, it’s split between a college scholarship at D’s school and an arts venue.
We decided if we all died we didn’t care what happened to our money or stuff, so left that part blank on the will. Neither my mom’s nor my dad’s will had that either. Probably my sister and H’s brother would get it. It could be fun sitting “upstairs” with popcorn watching them try to work together.
I am an only. Dh only has one sister, and she only has one daughter. I have two cousins (both also only children) - one with one child and one with no children. In our Titanic scenario, dh’s portion goes to our one niece (his sister’s daughter), and my portion goes to my younger first cousin who has one son. We have “yours, mine, and ours” assets.
OK, what each of us has in mind has been mentioned here.
Dh right now (we will finish this up this weekend) calls for it to be split among our nieces and nephews (seven). He’s the baby of his family by 14 and four years so it feels unlikely that his siblings will outlive him, especially given their health.
I am the baby by seven and eight years. Again, my sibs wouldn’t likely outlive me. And, if I’m being completely honest, neither my sibs nor nieces or nephews live lives/hold beliefs that I support (that reads harsher than it is, but I don’t want to go into specifics). When I die, I already planned on giving a small set amount to various entities – our local PBS and NPR stations, for instance – reducing my kids’ inheritance by that amount. But if I have a reasonable estate and no direct heirs, I would like to expand my philanthropy and give almost all of the funds to those entities plus the scholarship programs that helped my kids in college at a time when we had so little money. I love the idea of helping kids like mine get stellar educations.
In the OP’s scenario, if our best friends (son’s godparents) survive us, the money goes to them. Otherwise, it all goes to a couple of charities and the University of Michigan.
We didn’t specify in the will, so state law will prevail. Someone will have to step in and be the executor, it could be a stranger. Assets would go to siblings if they outlive us, or split among nieces/nephews otherwise. They can figure it out without us.
I am struggling on the same thing. All of my nieces and nephews are doing well and have parents that are financially stronger than us. I am thinking of leaving the money (if we all die at once) to the Natural Land Institute to preserve wild land. That is near and dear to my heart. I am not sure if dh is on the same page.
My H and I do not have a will but need to make one. Thank you @conmama for giving me something to think about— I hadn’t thought of a scenario where all 4 of us died at the same time. I’m going to talk to my H about getting a will together.
DH and I had different opinions on this so we split the assets. His half of the estate will go to his mom/brother/niece and nephews. My parents don’t need it and I wouldn’t want it to pass farther down the family tree so I left my half of the estate to a hometown charity with which I volunteered for many years. I realize the chance of this doomsday clause is very remote, but I like the idea of leaving it all to charity.