With the person you are currently with? What city? Where exactly, what spot were you on and when did you knew that he or she was The One? How and why did it happen, sorry if I am being nosy, I am curious as to how love happens.
How as in where were you in life that made conditions right for long lasting love to happen? Why as in what made this person right for you? Were you the woman who got him to stop playing the field? Were you the man that got her to stop looking at other men?
Fell in love with the guy on the first day of 9th grade Algebra I class, in a small town in Oklahoma. Married him two years into college. Our oldest child is heading to her first year of college next month.
We just fit. Same family backgrounds. Same type of childhoods. He’s calm where I’m manic. It’s not a dramatic love story, but it’s worked for us.
It was one of those “duh” moments in life. My future wife and I had been dating for about a month, she was a senior and I was working and taking one graduate course. We were sitting on the green couch in her apartment. She asked me if I considered us “exclusive.” I realized I hadn’t even thought of ever dating anyone else since our second date.
With hindsight, it was obvious we were so rightly matched. It took me another six weeks to use the L word with her. Seeing her smile when I walked into a room was all I would need in life.
For him, first day of college. We were in the same lit class. I don’t even remember being in the class with him.
For me, it was February of our sophomore year of college. It was the first snow day my university had had in decades and my ex decided to ruin it by sending me the most horrific text messages I’d ever seen. My friends took my phone and Mr. R sang me Bridge Over Troubled Water in the middle of our dorm lobby because he knew that was one of my favorites when I’m upset.
We had only been dating about two weeks at that point but that was when I knew that this was permanent.
Funny, I’m discussing this on another board too. I don’t believe there’s “one”. How could there be with all the millions and millions of people in the world? But there are certainly those who work best with our “type”, though even that changes over time. A good match for me at 21 would not be a good match for me at 45. I met my current spouse at 39, he was 36. I knew we had real possibilities on our third date, when I spelled out all my baggage and what makes me tick and he just smiled. I knew for sure things would work out when he accepted my kids as though they were his own. And after 17 years together and 16 years of marriage, things just click. We’re great together and life is good. But had I not been in Seattle at the same time he was and had I not responded to his ad on a “friends only site” I hardly think that I’d be pining away for a “one” I’d never meet.
You are getting too close and personal. 
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You are getting too close and personal.
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We’re not asking what you were wearing. 
I suppose I am and I’ll share my story later probably but this was on my head because I was trying to explain to my son how to not get into bad relationships, something that he seems to have quite a talent for even at his young age.
So I was trying to explain to him why I thought he seemed to be falling into the same traps (so to speak) and how he should evaluate better. He sees love as a random thing, and it is, but one can tip the odds in your favor too, just like investing or playing cards, some people are just rolling dice and praying things go well while others are bring more intelligent about it.
I ended up explaining to him how and why his mom and I fell in love. Why her? Why me? Why then and there? I’m not sure we were ready but I can’t imagine being with anyone else at this point so even though it was flawed and bumpy it is still perfect in part because of all the roller coaster ups and downs.
I’ve also heard and read a lot about how guys who are “players” tend to fall in love for the girl who shuts down their games right off the bat. Probably fate. She just happened to be the right one in the right place when he was ready, and yes it works the other way around, I am not being sexist. She was the one who made him work for it, so to speak, and by that I mean she was the one who made him respect her. He had to earn her respect and that process made him love and value her whereas all the others got left behind. I’m probably reading too many of my wife’s Cosmo magazines. I’ll go back to Forbes and whatever else is laying around the house soon.
We were friendly for a few months (he was the RA in the dorm where I had my meal plan), I asked him out on a date, and that night I just knew. I told all my girlfriends the next day I was going to marry him and have his babies. That was a very uncharacteristic thing for me to say, so they knew I was a goner. I think we “knew” very early on and he bought me a ring within the first few months, though didn’t actually give it to me for a year. We were very, very young though. And lucky it turned out well.
I tell my 20 somethings that a lifelong match is made when the person makes you better, wants you to be well and happy, values what you value, and most importantly, you feel most like your real self, with no hiding your ugly parts, mistakes, or failures.
My DH of 30+ years I met in college, we had the same group of friends but I was crushing badly on another guy. I did, however, notice pretty quickly that I preferred my DH to just about everybody else. We spent hours and hours talking about everything. We were engaged by our junior year. To this day, I find him steady, strong, kind, sure, cute and he doesn’t mind that I’m stubborn, not-girly, cry too much, and have distinctly overprotective brothers.
Fell in love in freshman yr. of h.s DH was a senior. My Mom was so worried because of the age difference.
DH and I stuck together that whole year of high sch.
Tried to hang on but broke it off in his freshman semester of college.
Fast forward… I had just gone through a bad break-up with a guy I had been dating for more than two years.
I went home from college for Christmas break licking my wounds.
The next week I inadvertently ended up sitting right behind DH’s family at our church’s Christmas Eve service.
Hadn’t seen him in a long time. He was so handsome!
We talked on the church steps after the service. It was kismet. We fell back together as if we had never been apart. We saw each other every weekend possible. I knew I had the right guy for sure this time. The next Christmas he gave me an engagement ring.
We got married exactly 18 months after our Christmas Eve encounter.
We celebrated my 20th b-day on our honeymoon!
I finished my BSN at the state u. in the city where DH was employed.
My mother was sick with worry thinking it wouldn’t last because we were so young (20 and 23) and living 5 hours away from friends and family).
Needless worry. We are still together and have two sons.
Last week we celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary!
Twice, a few years apart, at Rose Hospital in Denver: On May 15 and March 13, when I first looked into my babies’ eyes. Love at first sight.
Love at first sight, here. Grad school dorm, opposite side of the country from where we’d both grown up. I walked in and he said something- and I knew. Meanwhile, my then bf was glaring. Took a month or so to unload the bf and have an official date.
He did have some rep as a player. I didn’t do anything to change him, the relationship was just good, from the start. He had grown up near where my grandmother lived and we had some of the same frames of reference- had often gone to the same Chinese restaurant as kids, like the same byways and little historical corners.
Sure, it was bumpy- he finished that degree and went home. But there was something fated about it, we endured the distance, visited, I eventually moved back, too. My advice to my girls was the age-old sort, this will come out twisty, but some will know what I mean: you lose something of yourself in a relationship, especially one that seems promising, because you’re operating as “two,” not just yourself. So make sure this is the person you are truly willing to make those sacrifices for. And be certain the right parts of you remain and are celebrated by you both.
For us, it was when we were early in our college years (end of sophomore and end of freshman year.) Got married a few years after having been graduated from college.
I think it is now harder for the new generation to “settle down.” It is likely because it takes longer for them to establish their career. An anecdotal example, at the age when my child met his current girlfriend, I had already got married.
I dated the same woman for over a decade and never got married. Met my wife on Capitol Hill at a bar when she thought I was cute but was too shy to meet me. A pushy friend of hers literally shoved her into me and when she blushed and stammered an apology I told her not to worry about it and struck up a conversation.
They were there because a cabbie couldn’t find the address of a party and had racked up a big bill driving around trying to find it. I offered to save them the cab fare home and drive the 5 girls back to where a few of them lived and where my future wife had left her car. They agreed and then I realized my friends had left and accidently taken my car keys with them. I felt horrible and offered to pay for the cab if I could ride with them, and I asked if future wife and her roommates would actually drop me off at my house which was on their way home after we picked up her car. One or two were a little hesitant but agreed.
As the cab pulled up I realized I didn’t have any money. I had told my friends I didn’t want to go out, partly because I didn’t have any money, and they convinced me to go out by offering to pay for all my drinks. When I realized I didn’t have any money I asked them to wait a second while I ran to an ATM and got cash. A few of them said to “leave this loser” (I can’t say that I blame them). Future wife insisted they wait and then dropped me off at my house after she and her roommates picked up her car following the first cab ride.
The next morning she was supposed to host a Christmas cookie swap and I had heard her roommate say that she was going to skip helping like she had promised in order to go out with a guy she had just met. She had told me what complex they lived in and mentioned that it was a corner unit. I showed up and looked for her car and knocked on the door (hoping it was hers!). When she answered she was surprised and happy and not at all afraid that I had somewhat stalked her. I had the ingredients to make Mimosas and told her I was there to fill in and help her prepare for the party.
We spent the day prepping for the party and then I had to go to work but things were going so well that I told her I would come back on my dinner break. I might even had gone back after work too! We saw each other nearly every day after that but I already knew she was the one. I think I knew that very first night when I saw that she was the nicest (and cutest) woman that I had ever met. Within a month I had lost my job yet we were already talking about how we would try to work it out so that we could stay together if I had to move. Six months later I was still unemployed and proposed and she still said yes. Six months after that we were married.
Another 25 years and 3 kids later and we are still madly in love.
^^^ ahhhhhh
:x
H was on my volleyball team. I realized he was the one when he stood by me when my relative needed to be grounded due to something he did in HS (my folks were out of the country and had left me to supervise). My other relatives said I was being harsh and unfair but H said it was kinder to help set relative straight now and avoid heartache later. We were engaged about a year after we met and married the year afterwards. We will be celebrating our 30th anniversary next year–maybe we’ll let your kids join in the celebration.
The first time we met was at a work meeting. We worked at the same company but I was at a different location in another state. I admired him and his work. He was married and older than me. Years later, I got transferred and ended up in the same office building. Once I found out he was divorced, I was open to getting to know him better. We hit it off and we were engaged after dating exclusively for a year. Timing is critical. When we first met, he was separated and it was only later that it could work for us.
I met my girlfriend at a Best Buy while she was sitting alone, ignored by other guys. Her entire body was perfect and I knew I had to do something. Eventually, I worked up the courage to ask about what she was capable of doing and how fast. After 35 minutes, I bought her and left.
We’ve been together for 3 years now, but I’m going to have to replace her before going off to college!
H and I were in Peace Corps and H had just been transferred to the village where I was working. (I had seen him around a couple times–tbh, I thought he was kind of annoying; my neighbor had met him in the village and told me he was gay. . .) The guy who was training H dropped him off at my house while he saw to some business nearby. H and I had the most interesting conversation–we found out that we had a lot in common (extremely/coincidentally similar families, same religion, etc.) He was so intelligent and entertaining. When the other man came back to pick up H after a couple hours, it was much too soon. After H went out the door, I said, out loud to an empty house, “There’s SOMETHING about that guy.” I had to sit down–I almost fainted! (Never happened to me before or since–not at all the kind of thing I would do or say.) H had asked me to meet him for lunch the next day, which was inconvenient and I thought sort of impulsive and “forward” on his part, so I didn’t show up. He asked me to meet him a couple more times and I stood him up. (Why? For various reasons I wasn’t ready to get into a relationship at that time.) Five months later, he asked me out again. I intended to meet him, but had forgotten about a dental appointment I had to keep. (No phones, no way to communicate change of plans.) After the appointment, I was on a hot, crowded bus on the way home. The bus stopped right in front of H’s house and I made a split-second decision to get off and apologize to H. We stayed up all night talking. I had to walk about 4 miles to work the next morning. I was just walking on air. After that we spent all our time together. It was like I met my other half/he met his.All other relationships just faded into the background/paled in comparison. (We complement each other, we are opposites). Got married 7 months later. That was 28 years/8 kids ago. Are we soul mates? No. Do we have the perfect relationship? Not by a long shot. But I never loved any other man before or since. Sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t gotten off the bus that day.