Who else feels the same as me (regarding "being boring")?

College Life
1

<p>I think we’ve all experienced this one way or another, and I feel like I really need to get this off my chest, so here it is.</p>

<p>So you’re hanging out with a buddy, and you realize that you’re being boring. You realize that you are leaving a bad impression and that this is probably the last time you guys are hanging out. After you get home, you kick yourself for being boring and not as sociable. And then a few days later, you realize that your buddy of yours is trying out and hang out with different people (that is, trying to find people less boring than you were). </p>

<p>But then you realize that, your buddy was boring too. He was just as boring as you were, if not more. Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two people to be boring. It’s really annoying to be honest. It’s annoying that they need to find someone who’s not boring to pick up the entire conversation/outing. It’s like they have to go out and find someone else that’s out-going so they can validate themselves or something. That buddy of yours wasn’t engaging. He didn’t open up. </p>

<p>They go out to find someone not boring, someone who is engaging and is spontaneous to convince themselves that they aren’t boring when in fact, they were part of the problem. It takes two people to be boring. If one person isn’t boring, then the hangout won’t be boring. It’s like they’re hanging onto the other person’s coattail. They leech onto that non-boring person to feel relevant because they can’t be sociable without them.</p>

<p>Of course, this is different with your true friends and it doesn’t apply. Whenever you’re hanging out with your cousins or people you’ve know for a very long time, everything comes naturally and you guys feed off each other’s vibe.</p>

<p>That buddy of yours wasn’t engaging. He didn’t open up. </p>

<p>Why do boring people try to find non-boring people when they, themselves, are boring? Who feels the same way?</p>

<p>Of course, it’s natural to find people who are outgoing, but isn’t this just another reason why college is overrated, fake, and phony?</p>

2

<p>It’s “it takes two to tango” … not tangle.</p>

3

<p>I’ve been called boring by a lot of people. I don’t seek outgoing people. They actually usually annoy me. I also don’t have the other issues that you listed, like actively trying to be interesting as if it matters or that I should care if they’re having fun.</p>

4

<p>This post reminds me of that movie “I love you, man.” It was on cable this weekend.</p>

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<p><em>Moves on to a less boring thread</em></p>

6

<p>mmmmkay.</p>

<p>I’m not the most interesting person, but I never found it hard to find people I can talk to for hours.</p>

7

<p>

Seriously… I was getting tired reading that story.</p>

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<p>The easiest solution is too not place so much importance on what others think of you. </p>

<p>So what if little Timmy thinks you’re boring? So what if little Timmy thinks you’re the most awesome and interesting person to ever inhale oxygen?</p>

<p>In both cases, it doesn’t really give or take anything from you (except maybe ego). </p>

<p>It’s not something to sit and ponder about.
In fact, it’s quite boring.</p>

9

<p>lolwut…</p>

10

<p>Um…sometimes I get the feeling someone gets bored with what I’m talking about, just like I sometimes get bored when people ramble on about random stuff I don’t care about.</p>

<p>Just find people with the same interests as you and you shouldn’t have to write a book about being boring.</p>

11

<p>don’t have that problem. there’s always something to do or something to talk about, but my friends and I are trying to be social. </p>

<p>why does it matter if your friend is hanging out with other people?</p>

<p>this is weird.</p>

12

<p>Things I’ve noticed:</p>

<ol>
<li>People cannot not fill silence. They HATE awkward silences so they talk just to hear noise and to fill gaps. Or they just like the sound of their own voice, which is even worse because they want to “educate” you to no end. </li>
<li>“Boring” is definitely subjective. Usually you find someone boring because you can’t relate to/aren’t interested in what they’re talking about. </li>
</ol>

<p>So basically: don’t take this whole thing too seriously OP, your “friend” obviously just isn’t a good friend for you. Doesn’t matter who is “more boring” because you both need to find friends that you share interests with.</p>

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<p>Perhaps he didn’t hang out with you more than once because you realized that you’re a psycho.</p>

14

<p>It’s not that your buddy consciously seek out more outgoing people to prove a point or something. People just by nature like to be around interesting people and have a good time. I guess you wouldn’t want to be with someone with whom you have nothing to talk about. But again, don’t get too sensitive about the issue. Not every two people will click or hit it off and rest assured, most of us are somewhat awkward and uncomfortable with strangers. So just don’t give up, try to go out and meet people. I’m sure you will find many friends whom you connect with.</p>

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<p>This is a strange comment. I can’t trace through it logically.</p>

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<p>Did we read the same post? No normal person would respond that way about someone he was with being boring, and in such a bizarre manner.</p>

<p>Hence my post.</p>

17

<p>The reason the conversation comes off as stilted or boring, is because both you guys don’t know each other well and you are self-conscious about trying to impress the other person/ not seem boring.</p>

<p>Self-conscious anxiety, or feeling judged, or whatever, will stifle conversation, especially since you are probably filtering yourself a great deal, your true self.</p>

<p>You can talk about the most idiotic things and it’ll be interesting. The key is, honestly, not to care about what the other person thinks or how they are judging what you say too much. Even more basic than that, it to just talk openly and honestly. A human being who is being open and honest, truly, is extremely rare and always interesting. I’m not saying admit they are looking fat today or something like that, obviously you can avoid some ‘openness’ but otherwise don’t self-censor.</p>

<p>So, truly don’t care, and be open and honest. If those are true, even the most introverted person will start talking for their own amusement. They will try to entertain themselves, and in the process, entertain their company.</p>

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<p>i’m the exact opposite of this. Not caring what people think allows me to excel socially in initial interactions. But after we get to know one another the conversations run stale.</p>

<p>That said, I’m introverted and fairly antisocial and don’t like most areas of socializing anyway. At least not for extended periods of time.</p>

19

<p>sounds like you’re a pretty boring person.</p>

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<p>“Do not know each other”? So your view on epistemology is rooted upon the conversation participants knowing one another? What rubbish.</p>