I don’t and the kids are not interested. I’ve heard many others express similar thinking: lawyers, doctors, professors, computer people, etc. If we don’t encourage our own kids to get into our professional fields, whatever field we do encourage seems have no bases or is due to our ignorance of that field.
Then “follow your passion” is more of experiencing life (which is what life is about).
H and I have two kids and we are both CPAs. Our S became an accountant but the impetus came from him and the profession really is a very good fit for his aptitudes. I imagine he felt a bit of comfort going into the field H and I are in, but I really don’t think that was the deciding factor. Our D is studying to become a speech pathologist which looks to be a great match for her interests and abilities. Everyone needs to find his/her own path.
I would love too but so far, none of three children shows any interest in our professions, despite the connections we have that could start them in a nice place. We will see.
DH does medical research. It used to be more basic science, but he had to move to cancer research when grant money got so tight. They are talking about cutting the NIH budget again - if passed as proposed I think there would be no new grants. He would never ever encourage going into his field.
I’m an architect. You have to love what you are doing because it doesn’t pay well. But I’ve found that a sole practitioner who is willing to do a lot of remodelling and additions can keep busy. It was easy to work part-time when the kids were little by meeting clients during school hours or evenings and weekends when dh could look after them. As they got older I grew the business.
We are not encouraging our kids to go into our professions. Because they are exposed to the conversations about the “family businesses” from birth, they are getting exposed to those worlds. It wouldn’t surprise me if one or two of them finds a similar profession, if not the same one exactly, just because they have that in-depth knowledge of the ins and outs.
Because I was forced by parents to choose a profession or major in college that I didn’t like at all, and because i’m still doing that job (Stockholm Syndrome), I feel strongly that they should choose what’s in their hearts, even if it’s not “practical.” They’re passion plus some practical planning should help them through. If they choose the arts, for example, I’m also teaching them the Frank Zappa mantra that “art is making something out of nothing, and then selling it.”
I retired from the government after a combination of military and civilian service. While I think a stint in the military would be a good experience, I do not push my boys in that direction, only to pursue it if they are interested. However, I do not recommend they follow in my footstep and go working for the government. While the current benefits are very good, it’s unlikely they will survive the next four years intact. Add to it the constant attacks of government employees by politicians. It just isn’t worth it. I hate to say that, but my discussion with current feds tells me many feel the same way.
My son has declared his major in the same field that I studied and have worked in, and a minor in a field very related to what his mother studied and has worked in. We did not encourage this, and I am in fact a little weirded out by it, but if it is what he really wants to do, we’re fully behind him.
(maybe he really is our son afterall, have always worried he got switched out at birth…
My Dad was an Electrical Engineer and so was I. I was not pushed, just exposed to it as a career.
My DD1 is a Math Teacher (still STEM related) and DD2 is doing pre-med.
I’m a lawyer (by training – I haven’t practiced law in more than 20 years). If my kids could get law degrees for what it cost me, I’d be all for it. And I think they would have both been on board as well.
But they can’t. Now even public u’s charge huge tuition for in-state residents. I attended a UC for roughly $700 a year tuition in the mid-70’s, which would be an inflation-adjusted figure of around $3200 annually. My alma mater now charges state residents $49K/year in tuition. No young adult could reasonably come up with that on their own- so no way to get the degree without massive debt. But no guarantee of employment in law, and neither I nor my progeny would have any interest in working at a high-priced law civil law firm. My D has two close friends who are now lawyers, both in public interest law. One is a public defender, the other works for a nonprofit agency. The public defender is a graduate of an Ivy that offers LRAP (loan repayment assistance) as long as she is in public service – followed by federal loan forgiveness after 10 years… but when I told my son about that several years ago, he called it indentured servitude. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to come out of law school with that kind of debt hanging over me – it really limits options.
So no–way too expensive to get the training, for a high-stress career with uncertain employment prospects down the line. I think it’s too bad, because I think our government benefits from having public servants with legal training (so they understand the laws they are responsible for implementing) – but I would never have wanted to see my kids take on that type of debt.
My best friend’s parents would only pay for college if he became an engineer like his father. He didn’t and is swimming in debt (and living with me for pennies). After his grandparents pass away, he plans on cutting off contact with his family because not only did they hang him out to dry on college but they relentlessly mock his decision to be a teacher.
My dad was a plumber and for a while I followed him. He only encouraged me to obtain trade skills, never pressured me to go into a trade.
Mom was a banker (regular community bank, not one of the high paid banking jobs). She wouldn’t have wanted me to follow that path…
I’m a historian and my partner works in early childhood education. I really can’t wait to see what my future children decide to do. I would never pressure them to become a historian or a teacher like us. Kids should find their own path, whatever that may be.
I encourage certain kids to get into all three of my professions (depending on whether I’m looking at myself as a lawyer, an educational counselor, or an entrepreneur). I’m not among the many cynical lawyers who think that law school is a mistake for everyone. I am thrilled to see SOME kids making that choice.
After my D watched how many hours I put into a teaching job, she ruled it out!
I wouldn’t actively encourage my daughters to go into law, because of the poor job prospects these days. But I think it’s a great and noble profession. If they wanted to do it, I’d just try to make sure they had their eyes wide open. My ex encouraged our younger daughter to go into a science (he majored in one as an undergrad) but has said not-very-supportive things about her plan to get a Ph.D. (he dropped out of his Ph.D. program).
H and I are both lawyers who love our work. Unfortunately, none of the kids so far seem inclined to follow us. Oldest son is a mail carrier and hopes to get into the union end eventually, D has a masters in special ed but discovered she hates it and will soon be starting as a customer support specialist at an educational technology startup, where everyone else is also a refugee from teaching. Middle son was thinking about law school but now wants to take the real estate salesperson course (H owns a realty brokerage). Next one down is also taking the real estate course but has an opportunity to become an orthotist. He will start training next month. Youngest son is graduating HS this year and is going for a BFA in theater tech and production.
I feel a little sad that none of my kids thinks might profession is worth emulating. I have so many friends whose kids are joining them in law and it makes me a little jealous.
I would encourage them (and have encouraged them) to do something they love and find rewarding. H is a writer and I work in the non-profit world currently. Amazingly we raised a math/physics loving son and an artist daughter.
I am encouraging my son to discover and follow his own dreams. No suggestions, no pressure from us. That said, it would not be entirely surprising if he went into one of our fields (education, psychology) as both suit his personality. He is a natural born teacher and that has been evident since he was four years old. I can see him as a college professor, high school social studies teacher, etc. If he picks law, he may start as a defense attorney or something but I would not be surprised if he eventually becomes a law professor. I can also see him working for a think tank of some sort. Or maybe he will discover a new field in college that is very different from anything we do-- e.g., something in business. Who knows? Right now, it is time for him to have fun exploring the liberal arts and immersing himself in the life of the mind. Somewhere along the way, a career choice (or at least an initial one) will become clear to him… as it did to both my husband and me… for both of us very different from what we might have thought we’d do when we first entered college.
I am a nurse practitioner and my ex is a physician, D absolutely wants nothing involved with providing patient care.
All D says is she wants a job working on a computer in a cubicle that is not boring.
My father desperately wanted me to go to law school. He knew I’d be good at it, and I probably would have. But as a child when I went to work with him on a school holiday, it didn’t seem like an atmosphere I’d enjoy, with crusty old men smoking cigars and rifling through mounds of paper on their desks. I might have considered it if he’d had sat me down and explained to me the different types of law careers. He was a litigator, and I just couldn’t see doing that.
@brantly -
Crusty old men smoking cigars was what I found when I went to the bowling alley with my dad, back in the day. Some of his friends were lawyers and I loved hearing their shop talk. I became a litigator.
I loved law school and have one whom I suspect would love it too. But it IS expensive to go now.
Maybe one of my sons will be a home education parent at some point. 