Who has a smart, ambitious, hard working kid but doesn't really like any area a lot?

Applying to College
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My kid like many of our kids is smart, hard working and ambitious (wants to do a Ph.D.). They are co-valedictorian as a rising senior doing full IB diploma with 4.0 unweighted GPA.

So they like school and are good at it. But they are completely at a lost in terms of finding their passion. They are leaning towards environmental/biological sciences as they don’t mind chemistry and biology! But there is no real love there. I worry that after doing a year of chem/bio (not just one class) they’ll discover they hate it!

So we have 4 months to find a passion (something we’ve been exploring for a few years now). Any suggestions?

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It is very hard to reconcile these two statements. What exactly would they do a PhD in and why if they do not know what they are passionate about?

Why?

Drop the PhD plans, first of all. You are not there yet. And then enjoy the ride. College is a great time to explore new interests and academic subjects your kid may have never even thought of. Try new things! You don’t have to have it all figured out by the time you graduate high school. Take a year or two to try new things, all kinds of new things. I bet something will click.

Not a terrible outcome, really. It’s productive to rule out what you DON’T love on the journey to discover what you DO love.

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Well, this is one of the advantages of the US style of education. He can (usually) spend two years exploring various subjects to decide what he wants to do before he has to declare a major. This is not uncommon even among those who think they know what they want to do. My D19 changed majors 3 times during her college years…

Does he have an idea of what colleges he is interested in? And how broad their gen ed requirements are?

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“Why?” might be the correct question.

Many, many students change their major after they get to university. Some students change their major more than once. It is not uncommon for a student to graduate from university and still not know what they want to do with their life.

We each try a bit of this and a bit of that, and over time figure out what path is right for us.

Some students arrive at university thinking “premed”, take a couple of lab courses, and discover that they love lab work. Then they might for example switch to research. I know someone who graduated with a degree in CS, worked for a software engineer for two or three years, and then went back to law school. Now they mostly deal with patents (mostly software related patents). I used to know someone else who graduated law school, worked for a prestigious NY law firm for one week, and discovered they hated it. They went back to university and got a master’s in a different field and work in that field now. I used to know someone else who got a bachelor’s degree in math, then got a master’s in acoustics, and works as an acoustics engineer. There is a lot of math involved in making sure that every seat in a concert hall has good sound quality. Changes in focus are very common.

And university is in general a good place to get exposed to multiple options. This can of course help a person decide what they want to do.

And whether to do a PhD is something that can be decided way in the future. It is not unusual for someone to get a bachelor’s degree, work for a year or two or three, and then figure out what sort of graduate degree, if any, makes sense for them.

One daughter when she was a junior in high school admitted to me that she was concerned that she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life, whereas her friends did know what they wanted to do. I pointed out that yes her friends might know what they want to do, but in six months they will want to do something else, and in the end they will probably end up doing something else again. This is normal and very common (and she did figure it out).

Your kid will figure out what they want to do when the time is right. This is not likely to occur in the next 4 months.

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Take a breath. Echoing others in saying that there is no need to develop a passion in the next few months. There will be ample time to explore different areas of interest and perhaps even find something new, unexpected, and exciting to pursue.

Not every student’s education follows a completely linear path. And that is OK.

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A 17 year old doesn’t need a passion. A 17 year old needs to explore. It’s why undeclared is a huge major and some colleges don’t let you declare until after 2nd year.

It’s likely that your student will also work in a job or jobs that they don’t even know exist….and they may not exist today.

A 17 year old is that. Don’t make it uncomfortable because it needn’t be.

Sounds like you have a wonderful student full of hope and promise.

Look back in ten years with surprise and amazement.

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Your student doesn’t need to find a passion in 4 months. Your student needs to develop a first year schedule of classes that sound interesting and then see how things unfold. Or if he’s a junior, find schools that allow exploration.

There are things he’s never been exposed to that might really excite him. He needs a process for finding them.

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My middle kid knew a couple of things she didn’t want to do, but not what she wanted to do. She went to undergrad, took some classes in things that she liked (which is a lot of things). Four years later, she had degrees in linguistics and applied math, with a minor in creative writing.

No need to decide yet, unless he wanted certain degrees that require a very specific path from the start (doesn’t sound like his case).

And she has gone on to a PhD program that combines her two degrees, though she didn’t know that was what she wanted to do when she was in HS.

My eldest knew exactly what she wanted to major in while she was still in HS, and what professional degree she wanted after that…and that is exactly what she did.

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They can enter most colleges with an undeclared major. That’s fine.

I would question the ambition to do a PhD (as a parent of a PhD!). Depending on area of study. The academic job market has changed and opportunities for tenure are much fewer in many subjects. The time spent means low pay, no social security etc. And in some cases you come out both under and overqualified.

Why is your child thinking about a PhD, especially when they are undecided on what area to focus on?

One more thing: interning and volunteering can help clarify goals, as in some cases can a job. They can make good use of summers as well.

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Why? Why can’t your child just start college by taking classes that interest them? They don’t have to declare a major for two years. Also, why are YOU finding your child’s passion?

A 17 or 18 year old doesn’t need to decide right now what they want to do with their life. Your child needs to figure it out so give them time.

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How many of us do something completely unrelated to our pre-defined interest?

I was going to be a sports journalist - no doubt about it. I studied journalism at a top school.

Both myself and most classmates - epic fail.

Yet I pivoted - and I’m sure most others did - and something else comes your way.

So even if you ‘know’ up front / it doesn’t mean the finish line won’t change.

This is life - it’s not meant to run in a straight line. That’d be boring.

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Just adding to the pile–I changed my major junior year of college, still ended up at a top PhD program in that new area (arguably the best in the world for my subfield). And then ended up going to law school anyway (also arguably the best for my legal field), and became a successful lawyer.

My brother was a Math major, started a Masters in Public Health, realized that wasn’t for him, a friend recommended dental school, and now he is a successful dentist.

This is just two anecdotes from one family, but it is repeated many, many times across a variety of successful professionals. The idea you would know enough about your own aptitudes, own interests, and what is available in the world by the time you are starting college such as to be able to pick your whole future educational and career path with any sort of certainty is not realistic. Maybe, a few kids do follow a pretty linear path. But so many others have a lot more to learn and experience before they can really know what makes sense for them.

So in practice, I think this means a couple things at this juncture for a kid who is not sure what they want to do.

First, make sure your college is comfortably affordable, which to me means not too much debt. I think it is really, really helpful to be able to make choices about what comes next after college without large loans that need to be serviced.

Second, choose a college (or sometimes subdivision within a college, like a School of Arts and Sciences or similar) where you are comfortably well-prepared, and that is on an exploratory model where you just start taking classes and then declare a major later.

Fortunately, this is often not at all a tough combination in the US, as many in-state publics, privates with good need aid, a variety of colleges with robust merit aid, and so on are on that sort of model.

Then as another poster said, you just pick a reasonable first term schedule, and go from there.

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One thing to note here is that if any subjects with lots of introductory level prerequisites are of interest, then the student needs to get started on them early to avoid unintentionally closing off those subjects.

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sounds like a perfect candidate for a Liberal Arts College/Education

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I would not worry. At many colleges, students don’t declare a major until junior year.

Perhaps find a college with a strong core course requirement where students are required to take courses across many areas. Some find that area that piques their interest, or a professor who they really connect with, or subject matter they really like.

And remember that college major doesn’t necessarily align with careers.

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It took me until my late 40s to find my dream job. All the steps I took along the way were useful even when they seemed like detours. It’s really OK not to know. Also your kid DOES have an interest area - they know they like STEM. Have them go to school and major in biology/chemistry -any related field and see what sparks an interest. I promise that there will be that one professor who really speaks to them. It’s one of the great joys of working in academia -watching that spark awaken -and sometimes even being the one who helped a student discover it.
I know if feels different from a parent perspective —but I have a kid who is similar – she likes many aspects of Biology but none of them are THE ONE. She’s planning on majoring in some variant of Biology -but she says she will pick the specific type based on the strength of that program wherever she gets in. So chance is likely going to play a role in whether she heads off to Genetics, Healthcare, Marine Biology or something else!

And honestly - my other kiddo just finished his first year of college and has already switched majors once. My husband and I joke to each other that the science class he has to take next semester in Geology will end up taking him in an entirely new direction! Honestly, I don’t expect him to really know what he wants to do for a while. He’s one of those kids who is likely to get out of school, figure out he wants to do something entirely different -and go back to school. It’s really okay. He’s doing fine in school, and growing in confidence and that’s important too.

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My younger kid entered college undeclared. Then declared an engineering major. Then licked up a second major in biology. She completed the coure requirements for both majors.

Let’s just say…she will never be an engineer. She loved the coursework but couldn’t see herself doing the job (and she knew plenty about it…her dad is a career engineer).

Give your student a chance to explore, change their minds, etc. There is no need to find a “passion” before enrolling in college.

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At DS’ college, a very dynamic and respected prof taught Geology 101, which had a reputation as a great class. And needless to say, every term there were a few new Geo majors!

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To me it sounds like your child has a passion already - a passion to learn and nothing can top that in my opinion.

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I’m not sure I’ve ever found “my passion.” But I have a lot of interests, a rewarding career, beloved hobbies, loyal friends and a happy home life.

As a student I was a lot like your kid. I liked school and I was very good at it, with top stats. In college I liked my classes and found them all very interesting. I think I could have gone in many different directions and been happy in life. Perhaps I’m just wired to be more of a generalist rather than a single minded pursuer of just one passion.

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