<p>A few weeks ago I was sending out some invitations and letters for a project I’m involved with. One of these sets went to a couple where the husband was an MD and the wife was a PhD and we knew that because our contact database has such education info so we knew their background. </p>
<p>Anyway, to make a long story short we addressed the husband’s invitation to Dr. X and the wife’s invitation to Mrs. X. I did that because a co-worker in our office said that only medical doctors should be addressed by the title Dr. and PhDs are only addressed as such if they’re a professor and the correspondence is in relation to their professional capacity.</p>
<p>I met the couple at the event and we were chatting about the invitations, we had them hand done with nice calligraphy, and the wife sort of jokingly mentioned that she had been ‘demoted’ on the invitation since her husband got addressed as Dr. and she didn’t. When I repeated the advice from my co-worker she seemed slightly taken aback and said that was nonsense. The conversation quickly moved onto other things, but I think I may have offended her my not addressing her as ‘Dr.’. </p>
<p>Was she right and how should have she been addressed? Dr. too?</p>
I have never heard such a thing. I think it’s quite well established that a PhD or and MD should always be addressed as Dr. Lastname in the first instance until you’re on more informal terms. Someone with a PhD is Dr. if an honorific is being used, they’re not Mr., Mrs,. Miss or Ms. </p>
<p>If there’s a need for a distinction to be made (such as in a clinical setting in a hospital) then you’ll usually see no honorific used with the degree listed after the name. So in a research hospital you’ll probably see clinicians with white coats that say Joe Blogs, M.D. and medical researchers with white coats that say Joe Blogs, Ph.D… However, they’re both equally Dr. Blogs.</p>
<p>I’m a PhD and consider myself quite informal when it comes to such formalities. I introduce myself with my first name, not as Dr. Lastname. If someone came up to me in an informal setting, being a bit pompus, and introduced themself as Dr. Lastname, I’d probably just say “I’m Dr. Lastname but please call me Firstname.” </p>
<p>In a formal setting where an honorific would be used (such as on an invitiation, letter, formal introduction) I’d expect to be introduced as Dr. and not Mr., but again on a day-to-day basis I, and most MDs and PhDs I know just go by first names.</p>
<p>The short answer is your co-worker was wrong. If the person has a PhD or MD and you’re using an honorific then it’s always Dr. (unless they’ve told you otherwise).</p>
<p>Most reasonable PhD’s and MD’s I know are happy to answer to their given names, such as “Bob” or “Jenny”. But assuming you want to use a title, you should use Dr. for both. PhD’s are particularly sensitive about being ‘demoted’, especially if it becomes “Dr. and Mrs”.</p>
<p>How would you address a social invitation to Condoleeza Rice, who has a Ph.D? I’d guess this: write to Dr. Condoleeza Rice, not Ms. Condoleeza Rice.</p>
<p>I think your coworker made a mistake. I wouldn’t worry that the recipient might feel offended, since she already let you know with gracious humor what she’d prefer next time. I’d leave it at that. </p>
<p>If a male accountant is married to a female medical or PhD., write to
Mr. and Dr. Lastname. Or, Mr. John and Dr. Susan Lastname.</p>
<p>We hear about this in religious communities where there are female clergy married to men in various walks of life. It should be: Mr. and Reverend Smith, or Mr. and Rabbi Cohen. </p>
<p>If they keep two different lastnames, then: Mr. Joseph Brown and Reverend Sarah Green. </p>
<p>Your coworker might not be used to any honorific titles held by women, but the logic is rather clear. I think you are kind to think about it now, and your coworker is speaking nonsense. You’re fine.</p>
Although in that case she’s also the Secretary of State so depending on the situation she could be Madam Secretary instead of Dr. Rice. </p>
<p>My favorite is when writing a letter to the Ambassador of a country instead of closing with “Sincerely,” your supposed to use “Your most obedient and humble servant,”</p>
<p>In the instance of addressing correspondence to the two of them assuming they both use the same last name it is correct to say:
Dr’s. Susan and Jonathan Brown. The ladies name is first. If her name is hyphenated it is,
Dr’s. Susan Jones-Brown and Jonathan Brown, and if she uses a different last name it is,
Dr’s. Susan Jones and Jonathan Brown.</p>
<p>Ph.D.s are Drs. they are Doctors of Philosophy; M.D.s are Doctors in Medicine.
H and I are both Ph.D.s and I’d have (and have had) something to say if letters were addressed to Dr. lastname and Mrs. lastname. Socially, however, we don’t use our titles.</p>
<p>I also have been taught that PhD is not used in social situations. However, I would not have carried that thought through to addressing an envelope, since that does require an honorific. We have friends who are both doctors; he is a PhD and she is an MD. They hyphenate their names. I know I struggle every year with how to address their Christmas card. Now I know. Thanks. (I think I usually cop out and use only their first and last names - that is what their return address label uses.)</p>
<p>On a slightly different topic, I struggle with how to address medical doctors that I know socially! If I knew them before they became doctors (as with the woman above) I have no problem using their first name. However, if my doctor goes to my church, for example - where everyone else is known by first names - should I still address him as Dr.?</p>
<p>While I’m at it (can you tell I’m socially inept?) I have a couple more doctor questions for you folks who seem to know. Recently, I went to a new doctor who has a physicians assistant. I was seen by both. The doctor introduced himself as Dr. X, and immediately proceeded to call my by my first name. (He was younger than me.) I didn’t really care, but I feel a bit strange when someone uses my first name, but insists on a title in reverse. His PA, a woman about my age, introduced herself by her full name. What do I call her? (When I called to make a follow-up appt., I used her first name.)</p>
<p>I dislike it when people call me by my first name without my permission, especially younger people. But then, I feel strange when people call me “ma’am.” Mrs. lastname is what I expect to be called, except in professional situations where Dr. lastname is in order.</p>
I’ve corrected people like that, regardless of age: “Actually, it’s Ms. SoandSo.” (Technically, since I have a JD, I could have said, “Actually, it’s Dr. SoandSo.” My friend, who has a PhD, did.) It is beyond presumptuous, particularly in a social setting, to insist on the title as if the title made one “better” or more deserving of honor, than the other. Very European, perhaps, but not American.</p>
<p>I agree-- it is a funny, occasionally slightly awkward position to be in. At the office I use my “Dr.” title, and if patients ask me if they can call me by my first name, I usually say something like “most people call me Dr. XXXXX” . My last name is pretty easy, so it’s not like when I was in grad school, and if I saw young kids, they tended to call me "Ms. <<firstname>> b/c my maiden name was a real mouthful). I also use “Mr. or Ms” when greeting adult patients.</firstname></p>
<p>Anyway, when people ask me if I use my Dr. title elsewhere, I usually joke “only when I want good dinner reservations”. That said, on invitations I receive in the mail, they commonly say “Mr. and Dr. XXXXXXXX” which I kinda like. I don’t get horribly offended if they use “Ms”, but if given the opportunity, I like to be the one to offer them to use the different, less formal salutation. I guess it is a matter of courtesy, and as Marite said, it feels a little presumptuous for someone to use an informal greeting (ie like “tu” vs “vous” in French). </p>
<p>Currently there is a proposal made by the AMA that only MDs and residents be allowed to use the “Dr.” title. It is being ironed out, but it is insulting. That kinda petty stuff is unnecessary, but it does feed the sensitivity some Ph.D.'s might feel, if their degree, training, etc are minimized, making them feel slighted. An honest mistake is an honest mistake, and it isn’t offensive. The AMA proposal is the latter.</p>
<p>Addendum-- should anyone care, this is a snipit about the AMA’s legislative proposal to restrict the use of the “Dr.” title (by the way, the word “doctor” has its roots in the latin word for “teacher”)</p>
<p>American Medical Association House of Delegates Resolution 303 (A-08)
Restricted Use of the Titles “Doctor,” “Resident,” and “Residency”</p>
<p>Resolution 303 seeks to restrict the title of “doctor,” “resident,” and “residency” in medical settings to apply only to
physicians, dentists, and podiatrists</p>
<p>Gee… why don’t they just use the title MDeity and be done with it? (jk)</p>
<p>When I earn my PharmD in a few years I’ll expect to be referred to as Dr. Soandso when the situation calls for an honorific. After 4 years of professional school + a residency I think I’ll have earned it! :)</p>
<p>That AMA proposal is ridiculous, IMO. If they want to distinguish MDs or DOs they should come up with an appropriate title themselves.</p>
<p>I’m confused by what’s wrong with the AMA proposal. Is the purpose to help with patient confusion? I personally don’t think a pharmacist should be called Dr. unless they are a doctor - it certainly shouldn’t be on a nametag so that customers think they’re dealing with a doctor.</p>
<p>The AMA’s proposal is all the more silly considering that the honorific Dr. doesn’t actually belong to the medical profession and was in fact stolen in an act of jealousy from those they’re seemingly trying to now restrict from using it. (see Wall Street Journal Article Below) </p>
<p>If you’re walking around in a hospital where someone collapses and yells for a “doctor” I really don’t think there is exactly any confusion that they are in fact requesting an MD and not a PhD! If the AMA wants to propose legislation, how about starting with working towards cleaning up the mess that is our nation’s healthcare system rather than such vanity nonsense! </p>
<p>Once an MD suggested that I was not a “real Dr.” because I had a PhD. When I explained the facts to him surrounding the title needless to say he felt a bit dumb and his face turned an interesting shade of red. I said something to the effect of “Well, you see it’s actually you that’s not the ‘real Dr.’, but I have enough class to not say that to you.” ;-)</p>
<p>
That sort of thing really annoys me (not just in that situation but in general). It’s a big breach of etiquette to introduce yourself in a formal manner and then proceed to address someone else in an informal manner. In that case I’d have probably said something like “It’s Dr. Lastname actually, but you can call me Firstname” just to put them in their place. If they called me Mr. (because they’ve never met me before and thus didn’t know I was Dr.) I probably wouldn’t care… but call me by my first name, then yeah I’m going to say something. </p>
<p>Perhaps the only time when it would be acceptable is when you’ve got a kid (e.g. in school) and they call an adult Mr/Mrs but the adult calls them by just the first name. </p>
<p>
I think the most acceptable and least controversial rule to follow is that if the situation requires an honorific then it’s always Dr. (there’s no distinction between MD and PhD in that regard). There’s no situation where you’d intentionally address an MD as Dr. but a PhD as Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss. Although I certainly agree, in day-to-day social situations people shouldn’t be using honorifics at all regardless of their degree (unless they want to come across as pompous and vain). </p>
<p>
A PA dosen’t have a doctorate degree and thus wouldn’t be Dr… With an honorific, they’d be Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss. However, in the situation you described it sounds like just the first name was fine if that’s how she introduced herself to you.</p>
<p>Sometimes it might jsut be easier to ask the person how they would like to be addressed. That said, someone asked my mom that once, and she replied, “your highness” :)</p>
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