<p>The role of a parent in the college-selection process is to ASSIST their child with the process, not CONTROL it. However, a friend of mine says that she knows several parents of Ivy-aspiring high-schoolers who are so obsessed with having their children go to an elite school, that THEY take control of the college-selection process instead of allowing their high-schooler to control it. She even goes as far as to say that some of these Ivy-obsessed parents “brainwash” their children at a young age, leading them to believe that an Ivy is the “only way to go.”</p>
<p>She loves to use examples of many parents in her neighborhood who claim that the college decision is totally up to their child, yet they will say “my son has wanted to attend Harvard ever since he was in 7th grade.” She assumes that kids like that have been “brainwashed” by their parents at an early age. </p>
<p>With all due respect to my friend, I don’t buy what she’s saying. I believe that it’s just one more example of “Ivy bashing” and jealousy, because all three of her children attended TIER 3 colleges!!! Also, she attended a STATE school, so what would she know about Ivy League colleges? It’s like someone who owns a Volkswagen trying to understand what it feels like to drive a Mercedes! </p>
<p>Parents of most Ivy-aspiring high-schoolers are very bright, and highly educated individuals who know more about life than most parents. They are much too intelligent and have too much wisdom to try to take control of the college-selection process or “brainwash” their children into picking a certain type of college. I would go as far as to say that “Ivy-type” parents would be the last ones to try to do something like that.</p>
<p>Do you think that parents of Ivy-aspiring high-schoolers try to control the college-selection process, or worse yet, “brainwash” their children into thinking that Ivy is the “only way to go?”</p>
<p>some kids actually do aspire to attend an ivy school from an early age. my youngest son had a significant older family friend that attended an ivy. he actually was about three or four when he said he would attend said ivy. i always kind of chuckled about it…and guess where he is today? bingo. some kids do know what they want to do early on…it doesn’t always come from parents.</p>
<p>Oldbutwise, there are parents who do that and others than not, you can’t put everyone in the same sac. Usually, foreign parents (like me) have heard more about the Ivies abroad than other colleges, so unless they take time to learn about alternatives to the Ivies, they believe the only acceptable place to their bright kids are the Ivies.
Don’t forget that not everyone could attend the Ivies even if they are the brightest kids around, some parents can’t afford to send their kids there and they opt for a full ride to the state university saving their money for graduate school.
I believe that there is a social pressure to send your kids to the Ivies; many people can’t understand why if you have an extraordinary student he/she could go anywhere else.</p>
<p>I meant that some people believe if you have a bright kid, he/she should apply to the Ivies. In my own experience, my S applied to just one Ivy, he was accepted with an early write, but once he visited the other schools he was also accepted, he didn’t want to enroll in the Ivy. Many people told me that I shouldn’t allow that, he was making a mistake, but since he is very happy now and loves his college, I’m glad that I let him decide. It is his life and his future not mine, isn’t it?</p>
<p>Most parents (including mine) left the process entirely up to their children. In fact, most of my friends would laugh hysterically at the thought of their parents on this board. Then again, I came from a high school so mediocre that the counselors hadn’t heard of the Moreheard Scholarship, even though we’re in-state. Not too many applying to Ivies. :rolleyes:</p>