Me: hiring and working with all contractors, choosing furniture, and making all house decoration, remodeling and renovation decisions. Thank God DH does not care at all – it’s difficult enough for me to figure out what I like, and it would be a major pain to drag him through showrooms. When we travel together, I am always the driver, unless the trip is very long and we need to take turns. We are both good drivers, but I enjoy driving more than he does, and he is much better at giving directions, or he just takes a nap. I cook, and I am in charge for all kitchen stuff. He can buy groceries, but only if I make the shopping list, otherwise I do that. I also organize everything else in our house.
DH: takes care of all bank accounts, bills, and taxes, and deals with all insurances. He is also in charge for planning all vacations and travel (after we decide where to go, but often the idea is also his). I don’t care at all what hotel we stay at – both of us don’t like fancy hotels, restaurants, etc. and we prefer some of the cheapest airline tickets, so he does not need my opinion. He also does laundry.
Each of us take care of our own car maintenance, washing etc. And we have similar spending preferences and priorities, so no one controls the budget – we just make our own spending decisions, unless this is a very big ticket item (like buying a car). We did look together when we shopped for a house and a vacation place, but luckily we have same taste, and were able to make the decision very quickly.
Works for us, but I see a very different family dynamics amongst our friends. Who is in charge in your family?
Mr. B is the President and CEO of the Bunsen Inc. I am the CFO, CTO, CSO, head of the HR, and everything else under the Sun. I present him with data, and he says go or no go. When we are short on staff, Mr. also serves the function of Chief Pest Relocator and Chief Toilet Unclogger.
There is no “boss” in my marriage. We each contribute different things to the relationship. Sometimes one gives in or compromises in a disagreement; sometimes it is the other.
If I felt like I were “the boss,” I would probably not be able to fully respect my DH.
See the red and white dog in my picture? She’s the boss. He (or she) who barks loudest, wins. And she is far louder and more demanding than any of us. :o3
The one in the avatar. She dictates what we do and when… and she knows that she runs the house
Human-wise, me. Mr R is too shy to call and make reservations or do anything over the phone. I take care of finances because I am the hyper-worrier about those things and insurance and whatnot all goes through my work so it makes sense for me to take care of that. With that said, I’d never make a unilateral decision about anything big or anything like that. It works for us
@mycupoftea ours is just over a year. We adopted her in July when she was somewhere around 7 months old (she was found as a stray in Detroit). Once she got used to living in a house, it took her about 48 hours to train us to be her servants :).
No boss. Some of the roles are designated, but others just don’t get done. For more than the simplest joint decision, we each have perfect veto power. Thus many plans are in the air and few come to fruition.
Of course, what I REALLY meant to ask is how the roles are assigned in your household. We are very lucky that each one of us loves to do what the other one hates, and vice versa. I would be miserable if I had to compromise on some of the decorating choices in our home - I am very particular about what I like (or don’t like). But I would also be miserable if I had to deal with our paperwork…
