<p>When did it become a parent’s job to get their child into college? I remember filling out all of my college apps with my GC and the only thing my dad did was give me copies of his tax forms and sign the check for app fees. I did all of the research and even visited area colleges with my friends whose parents were just as uninvolved in the process.<br>
Now, I’m obsessed with my D doing well in high school and she’s just a freshman. Her summer days are filled with sports and summer school. I feel I’ve taken her childhood away (as I knew it.) Soon, she’ll be joining a study group to refresh her Alg. skills for Alg. II. The more I put on her plate, the more she takes on. Am I crazy to be doing this to her?<br>
Then there’s my S who will be a junior. When I asked him if he’s looked over his PSAT scores to see what he needs to study - his reply, “Mom, summer vacation just started.” Arrgh!
And before I start sounding like an overbearing college-obsessed mom, I must add that I live in an area where the high schools have 3500+ students and GC’s handle 400+ each. The school is just too darn big and resources stretched too thinly. But I do wonder if I’ve created this situation relationship with my D & S or if its just the way the system works nowadays.</p>
<p>Back in my day, almost all of the kids who were going to a 4 year college went to one of two big very affordable in state universities. Who needed Mom and Dad’s (or the counselor’s) help?</p>
<p>And if that same result would make my kids happy, then college app season would be a breeze. But if the kids want more, then it gets a lot more complicated fast.</p>
<p>Here’s what happened to me. It was Spring of '81, my junior year of high school. </p>
<p>ME: Dad, can I have a check so I can register for the SATs?
DAD: SATs? What are you doing that for?
ME: Well, I kinda need to take the test so I can apply to colleges in the Fall.
DAD: College?!?! Hmmm. Well, OK. I guess that’s as good a place as any to find a husband. </p>
<p>And it just went down hill from there. I was accepted at the one and only school I applied to: the second biggest public in the state. (With no help from either of my parents.)</p>
<p>It was a mediocre experience. Not anything I’d wish on my kids. (But I did find a husband. ;)) </p>
<p>I learned some lessons and I’d like my kids to benefit from them. After all, isn’t that what it’s about? Making things a little bit easier, a little bit better for the next generation?</p>
<p>
You’re new here, aren’t you, Lilmom? 
There are a lot of us here who would have chained your S to the kitchen table with a study guide!!</p>
<p>Seriously though, with a large school and overworked GCs as you describe, you had better take over and become your kids’ GC if you don’t want this thing to end with “If only I’d…”.</p>
<p>That said, if you aren’t already obsessed, you can get that way in a hurry from hanging around here, so be careful. To start with, what kind of schools might your S and D be looking at…oos (out of state) publics, lac’s (liberal arts colleges), state university, very selective universities?</p>
<p>Where I went to high school, less than a third of the kids went on to college on a full time basis right out of high school. The majority of those who did went to a junior college, satellite campus of a major state system, or a local school. There was not much talk about getting accepted as it was pretty much taken for granted since those admissions were non competitive. You just had to get your app in before the last minute or you could get shut out of classes.<br>
As for the few kids who did apply to private colleges outside of their immediate areas, they almost all did so under the supervision of their parents. And again there was usually a strong connection to the college. The parents usually had the connection and would suggest those colleges. That much has not changed these days. When we lived in the midwest and in an enormous school district with more than 700 kids in theraduating class, though the % going to college was more than the inverse of my class, most kids went within a hour of home or Big State U. About the same % went to out of the way private schools. I think things have changed somewhat but there are still many areas that have not. Now here in the NE, though, again most kids are staying fairly local, there is much more variety in choices. In son’s private school, there are many, many schools represented, with the top schools most often named, our in-state unis hardly ever.</p>
<p>lilmom, I’m with your son.</p>
<p>I know, I must be something of a delinquent. My D read, did pet sitting and babysitting and watched movies for a lot of her high school summers. She went to a competitive public high school, worked hard due to a demanding schedule and was exhausted by the academic year’s end. D has always put a lot of pressure on herself. She needed to decompress for a while each summer–then she volunteered or did odd jobs. </p>
<p>Our D never did a test prep course and her SAT self-study consisted of 3 practice tests out of a friend’s SAT book (just found that out this week). She tests well and thought she’d try once with little prep and see where she stood. We agreed with this–but it was during her junior year and she could have retaken the test. Admittedly, her math score showed the lack of prep, but she had a 800 on CR. She never retook the SAT.</p>
<p>Maybe if your son gets a little down time and then checks for online prep courses. Our library has a couple to choose from and they can be done from home. It’s a easy and free way to get a baseline and see where your son might need to focus any prep.</p>
<p>Hey my son just finished his freshman year. You and I will navigate this process together. I started our on the prep school area of this board and recently graduated here. The guidance dept of my sons current private school is overworked and unable to do what they should be, IMHO. So i hope by reading these boards for the next year or so I will be able to “guide” my son into the right college for him.</p>
<p>My son takes Russian Math, is doing several sports camps this summer, in a summer sports league, volunteering, and spending very little time resting or sleeping late. A smart kid who performs right below that level where he will not have to worry about college admissions. He took the sat’s in 8th grade and performed in the 75% of college seniors taking the test, so I don’t think I need to worry about that . He is an A-/B+ student though and that does worry me. I don’t want him going to HYP, unless he wants to, I just think laziness on his part may limit his choices. Anyone recommend a good college for history majors?? His favorite subject, although he excels in math and science he has no interest in them. </p>
<p>good luck to you.</p>
<p>Freshman can get involved in a lot of activities; they seem to have abundant energy, and often the classes at school aren’t extremely difficult. But beware of wearing out your child before junior year; that’s when many start an challenging program of AP classes and the like, and they need to be prepared for the grind of homework and testing that junior year brings. It’s not a year when a student can afford to burn out.</p>