Why am I doing so poorly in college?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi, </p>

<p>This is my first time here, but you people seem helpful, so I was just wondering if you could help my understand what is wrong with me. </p>

<p>See, in high school I did very well. In the 11th grade, I got 5’s in the AP exam for chemistry, biology, calculus BC, physics mechanics, english (plus some more exams in the 10th and 12 th grades). Also, I got high SAT scores (800 math, 730 reading and 710 writing.) However, I did not do well in the class (mostly B’s in the above subject). </p>

<p>I am not saying this so show off, but to say that I was expecting to do good in college, too. I also wanted to attend an “elite college” but I got rejected by all of them. </p>

<p>Anyways, in college, it was like a hit a brick wall. </p>

<p>All the science classes are becoming impossible for me. I have failed genetics, organic chemistry, failing biochemistry, getting low grades in other science classes. </p>

<p>I was going to major in biology, but since that is so hard, I’m majoring in psychology. Psychology is one of the easiest subjects here. </p>

<p>My parents are stressed out, and I’m not sure just what is wrong with me. They think that I’m doing poorly on purpose to anger them, or that I am not trying hard. </p>

<p>But all of a sudden understanding complex subjects is almost impossible. </p>

<p>I am understand easy subjects like psychology (mostly memorization here), art, and stuff, but not chemistry or biology–and those were my best subjects in high school.</p>

<p>I took ADHD medication, but that only made my social anxiety worse and did not help at all. I have absolutely no friends. All I do is go to college, and then come home straight away. Same as in high school. I have never been to a party or anything. That is actually my fault, since, honestly, the people at my college (a third tire state school) are really very friendly. Many people have tried to become friends with me, but I cannot make conversation. (I was diagnosed with mild aspergers.)</p>

<p>I do feel lonely, and feel like I am missing out on a big part of life, but mostly, I am concerned why my intelligence seems to be in decline. </p>

<p>My sister, by contrast, did much worse in high school, but is now doing very well in college (she actually attends a very elite school). I know many people who did poorly in high school do very well in college.</p>

<p>Many students don’t even attend classes, and yet get A’s. But I attend every class, and I am failing? </p>

<p>What is wrong with me? Do you know similar stories? Is is because of social isolation? I don’t talk to anyone nowadays…I feel like my brain is deteriorating. </p>

<p>I do not feel sorry for myself, because all my problems were self-made. I fell like I am wasting my life and opportunities. </p>

<p>Now, I’m a senior, and I have no clue what to do. I was planning on med school, but that obviously is unlikely. Masters seems unlikely too, but I am applying just in case. I don’t know any professors, or did any research. I feel like I will only be able to get a job at a place like Wal-Mart or something…</p>

<p>Thank you if you could provide any advice or insight.</p>

2

<p>Have you been tested for “Executive Function” ? This is the work that the frontal lobes do that say things like “it’s class in an hour and now is the time to review those notes”</p>

<p>One of my sons did well enough in high school. He was part of the IB crowd and went from class to class with the same team of kids. Most of the kids were in all the same classes and discussed when things were due and got together to study, prepare, etc. </p>

<p>In college he found that, on his own, he didn’t do nearly so well. </p>

<p>You can be super bright and just terrible at Executive Function. </p>

<p>I can recommend “More Attention, Less Deficit” (Tuckerman, I think) and Brain Rules by Medina. Both recommend tons of exercise to help with focus and follow through. </p>

<p>The testing that was so amazing in seeing how our guy’s brain worked were:</p>

<p>Delis-Kaplan Executive Function System (D-KEFS)
Auditory Consonant Trigrams (Brown Peterson Task)
Rey Complex Rigure Test</p>

<p>all administrated by a psychologist who specializes in adolescents.</p>

<p>Also, my guy had tried one ADD med in high school and it just make him feel agitated. We have since learned that there are some 40 different medications (and then different doses) so there can be quite a bit of trial and error before finding the right combination. </p>

<p>If you were my kid, here’s what I’d be saying you should try:</p>

<p>1) Specific testing to see if you have Executive Function challenges
2) Conversation with Dr. AND pharmacist to see if a different medication might help
3) Abundant daily exercise (tough in winter, but get going. You might feel better within just a few days)
4) A break from school should be considered. Many, many people get burnt out from being a student. Can you work as a ski bum or a waiter or a nanny? (I’d stay away from Walmart – too depressing!). Americorps? Coast Guard? Visualize something that gets you outside and learning new things. (Green or outside time is soothing). Work at the farmer’s market?<br>
5) Stop by the professors office hours – some may brush you off – but all it takes is one who says “I’ve noticed that you blah, blah, blah” and you may pick up some very important insight as to where things are going off the rails. Or an instructor may say "I had another student who had these challenges and he turned it around by. . . "<br>
6) Get every kind of assessment you can think of – are you a visual person? (piles of stuff everywhere so you can see it?) or an auditory learner? The more you know about who you are, the more likely you will figure out what class settings will work.
7) Have you tried a computer science class? This highly logical work has been a Godsend to my son. Much, much better than his classics class. </p>

<p>Hang in there. You are most likely a Doberman trying to be a Mini Chihuahua and, no matter how you try, you just don’t fit into those teeny outfits and tiny handbags. Fine. Go find a place to be a Doberman – or a Labrador who likes lakes or a Toucan who likes rainforest fruit. Quit beating yourself up for being different. Start figuring out who you are and where people like you succeed.</p>

3

<p>Microsoft has an entire section of folks with Aspergers. They find they make excellent programmers. Start with where Asperger’s folks succeed career wise (there’s got to be some info on that) and see what appeals.</p>

4

<p>My daughter does not have Aspergers or ADD, but she did have straight A’s all through school, got 5’s on her AP tests, Merit Scholar finalist, graduated at the top of her class, etc, but is having a tough time doing the work at college. She even got a 21 on a calc test! After getting a 5 and an A in calc AB and BC last year. (She did do better on the next test and luckily the prof drops the lowest grade.)
Even though she did work hard in high school, it was far less challenging than college has been so far. Just want you to know, it’s not just you.</p>

5

<p>Are you taking all science classes? How did you do inmother classes</p>

6

<p>I am glad that you reached out to ask for help. I also am disappointed that it seems you have been not in a good place with your education for a long time and no faculty or staff have stepped up to help you. I am a professor and at my university faculty step up to help students who are floundering and to help the students figure out what is going on and get linked to support staff who will assist them. Many students do not get diagnosed with learning disabilities or Asperger’s until the arrive at college. Counseling staff at universities are trained to help students through this discovery process. I hope that you and your parents will take on the project of figuring out what is really going on. The best clue that I see in your posting is that you have been diagnosed with mild Asperger’s. Apparently the person who made that diagnosis did not follow up with you to connect you in with resources that would assist you in implementing changes in your life that would enable you to maximize social and academic opportunities in light of that diagnosis. If you check out the posting under parents called “I think I have Asperger’s” you will see some good suggestions there (along with some unhelpful stuff). I think the key thing is that psychologists are in the midst of exploring Asberger’s and its relation to what is sometimes called the autism spectrum.<br>
You also could have a learning disability that is creating issues in processing information even though you are extremely bright. For you, what is most important is to continue to seek out not just a diagnosis but psychologists and other professionals who can offer support to you so that you can find your social and career niches. You should have had this support in high school. It seems to me that letters your teachers wrote when you applied to college suggested that you would not excel, notwithstanding your excellent test scores. Those teachers should have seen that you got referrals to professionals who would have been able to work with you to get you situated in a setting in which you could experience academic success. It appears to me that they were very ignorant of their responsibilities or of students who learn differently and experience the world differently. That is disappointing. You have been let down by lots of people. You deserve better.<br>
Here are some suggestions for getting started now: if you have not already done so, contact your office of disability services on campus. They usually work in conjunction with the counseling office and should be able to refer you for free or sliding-scale testing. If your “third tier” university does not have well-staffed and knowledgeable offices for disability services/counseling, then I recommend you locate the nearest research university with Ph.D. programs in clinical psychology and a medical school. Your state should have a medical school and a university that offers the Ph.D. in clinical psychology and has a clinic open to the public. You need to be referred to someone with expertise in adolescent mental health and/or neurology. It may take some phone calls, but they should have experts in the psychology program’s clinic and/or the medical school who can do additional diagnoses and make referrals for support. If you do not have health insurance, most state university medical schools and clinics have an obligation to see people who live in their state under Title 19 coverage, without regard to ability to pay. Your parents and you should share your posting with the persons you contact – you have some self-reflections that are thoughtful and insightful and should help professionals get some initial insights into your situation. It may take some persistence to link up with experts who actually know what they are talking about. There is no reason for you to think that you have no chance at a career that actually interests you. Professional assistance will help you identify career areas that are a match for the unique person that you are. At some point in this process as you complete your education you will be supported in going on to graduate school in an area that matches your strengths or employment will be recommended. If your state has a strong vocational rehabilitation program, skilled professionals can work with you on job placement. They will go with you into a job setting and help an employer and you work together to find a good match. The key is for you to get connected to people who know what they are doing and how to help you access and get integrated into support networks. Good luck!</p>