<p>I just transferred to this college, Quinnipiac this semester. They house all transfer in this off campus apartment complex they bought a mile off campus. There are 8 buildings, and 7 of them are all transfers, the other one is returing students without housing. I’m in the non-building, and my roommate is a returning student. On the third day, he invited me to play volleyball with his friends, who didn’t really attempt to initiate conversation with me, even when I tried to with them, and he has never invited me to anything since. I tried to get him to do stuff, he was always busy. The apartments are not interconnected. I tried to meet the other people in my building, they didn’t seem interested in being my friend. I then tried to meet other people in the apartment complex, and they don’t seem interested. I’m not a mean guy, I’m rather nice, outgoing, and like to party too, as they do. My Facebook doesn’t have a wall, which I’ve hidden because I was scared the few posts would make me look like a reject. I tried hanging out in the quad, playing wiffleball with the other transfers earlier in the semester, and they never really tried actually talking to me. In class, I’ve tried to meet people, but they seem not to have an interest. I joined a political club, and its hard to meet people there, and the people I try to talk to, don’t try to initiate conversation with me, or ask me anything when I attempt to make conversation. (I would join more clubs except they all meet at the same time.) This is common with a lot of people. Is it that I don’t fit in here? I’m kindy preppy-ish, the people at this school less so. I rushed a frat, even got invited to their little “formal pre-bid night dinner” and for some reason didn’t get a bid. I’m also really short, 5’2’’ being generous to myself, and I mention this because I am a MALE at this height, which is usual, and is usually seen as unattractive. I’m actually really smart, got over 2000 on my SAT, and only transferred here because I was at a CC and wanted a real education, and was only there because of special circumstances, tho I tell people I went to Hunter College. Is my height what makes people less likely to like me? Do I wear too many polos and not enough casual stuff? Is it my dark hair? WHAT IS IT? I can make small talk with people, about sports, school, politics, so why can’t I make friends here?</p>
<p>Perhaps the Quinnipiac students lack social skills and are insecure.</p>
<p>Height may be a reason, but probably is not THE reason. </p>
<p>I agree with post above. your school people seem cliquish. seems much harder to be a transfer than a freshman. Look for people that seem alone and try to befriend them. Then extend out. </p>
<p>show people you’re interesting. Start doing something totally interesting around them alone and theyll prob join you in watching or something. Maybe like some new video game or something.</p>
<p>nbafan135, I try really hard to talk to people who I see alone around where they stick us transfers. When I see people at the shuttle stops (because we have to take a shuttle to and from campus), I always try to start a chat and make small talk. It lasts long, that is if I work to keep it going. They never try to return it when the convo ends, or when they see me again, even though they likely, or SHOULD remember me. Only 50 or so people live where the school shoves the transfer students. </p>
<p>What can I do to be more “interesting?” Should I mix up my clothing style, spruce up my facebook?</p>
<p>Assuming that politics interests you, stay active in your political club and do things like volunteering to help with their projects. Surely in an election year, the club is involved in some projects. If not, help organize some. People often make friends by working on projects together. Doing this particularly can help shy people because they have something to talk about.</p>
<p>If the political club doesn’t work out, check out the other organizations that meet at the same time.</p>
<p>I doubt that it’s your height that is turning people off. I, too, wonder if the students at your college lack social skills . This particularly may be true if it attracts lots of students from extremely small towns. I’ve met people who have come from one stoplight hometowns who were overwhelmed at going to a college that had far more people than did their hometowns.</p>
<p>Hey, I’m a transfer too, don’t worry about it… just meet people who seem down to earth man. If you are outgoing and not awkward you don’t have anything to worry about. I was actually annoyed when I had to go to oreintation and had every dang freshman asking for my phone number.</p>
<p>The fact that you tell people you went to Hunter when you didn’t is kinda telling me that you are not being yourself. Also wanting to change your look. Be who you are and be proud of it. People can sense when you are not being genuine. Tell the truth, be who you are and project confidence. Are you into sports or do you like working out? The school gym could be a place to make connections. Go to the library to study. Try and get out an about. Does your school have any trips or outings to get involved in? Going out with small groups can be a good way to get to know people. Just get as involved as possible and be true to yourself. That is the best way to attract others.</p>
<p>I agree with LilyMoon. You can’t keep up a facade forever.</p>
<p>(Just a random comment about the Facebook wall: I don’t think how few posts you have is a measure on your popularity, some people just don’t like using Facebook.)</p>
<p>Hey Lakrosse:</p>
<p>I feel your pain my man. A few of my buddies from HS had to do the whole transfer thing and it wasnt “super” easy for all of them but they made out just fine in the end. I think a lot of the issue is being at a school where the other students may not be like you. One of my friends transferred simply because he wanted to be with more people with similar interests, style, likes/dislikes…etc. When he was looking for a new school he used a tool called ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ to research and compare schools, read student reviews, figure out his chances of acceptance and other cool things. This way, he really got a sense for the campus and students before even going. I think that if you were considering another potential transfer, a place like this would be where you should start…Good luck!</p>
<p>My daughter knows a young man from our town that has transferred to her school. He is two yrs older than her and they hang out a little. He too has had a hard time meeting people there ( NEU ) He is a normally very social guy too, so go figure.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things, so maybe if you just give it a little time, it will get better.</p>
<p>I know it’s hard but I wouldn’t change you. Quinnipiac is known to be very “cliquey” and the students sometimes seem to be all the same type. My friends daughters were from the area and used to come home many weekends because they weren’t big drinkers and couldn’t find anyone to hang out with. Certain clubs though eventually helped (it can’t hurt to look at a few you might have overlooked) and getting a job.It might take more time, but there are people like you there also. Sometimes you can try too hard…don’t care about your facebook (most students names aren’t real friends) just continue to be friendly and look for things you might be interested in.
I’m concerned by all the trouble they are having with racial/anti-semitic incidences the last few years. This year there were 2 last spring I think and today on the news, there was another incident:
[WTNH.com</a>, Connecticut News and Weather - QU racial crimes investigated](<a href=“http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=9241336]WTNH.com”>http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=9241336)</p>