My daughters (a junior) club coach last season became an assistant coach for a D3 college over the summer and has already had the head coach watch D play. They invited her to come watch a match and meet the team so we are going today. On the one hand, I’m glad her first visit of any kind is with a coach she already knows and likes. On the other hand, this is so new to me I’m nervous! I know it’s all very preliminary at this time and she doesn’t yet know what she wants to go to college for. Being it’s D3 I know there will be no official offers made but is there any secret language I should know to read between the lines? Anything to do or not do? D will only play in college if there is some financial benefit to doing it, she’s also a 4.0 (unweighted) so merit money is always a possibility too.
The answer to the title of your post is: because college admissions – and particularly athletic recruiting – is a nerve-racking process. I think it is entirely likely that the nerves will get worse before they get better.
For D3 schools it is a shade on the early side to make “official offers,” and I am not sure that they are “official” anyway. A D3 offer generally is a coach’s offer of support for the recruit’s application with admissions. There is nothing binding about it, other than reliance on the coach’s word.
That being said, go unto this D3 school and be curious. Ask questions about all the things that the school could offer your daughter. Do not be shy. Be direct. If the school is a step up from what your daughter could get into without the sport, ask specific questions about admissions including the most important one – “will she get in.” Ask about how the team is managed are there tryouts, cuts, etc. and where do you see my daughter fitting in. Ask about academics, including majors and team time commitments.
Listen very closely to the answers for hedges, side-steps and anything other than pure commitment on the part of the coach. You are lucky here to be the hunted rather than the hunter, and to have the luxury of quietly asking your club coach later for feedback.
There is no money for athletics in D3. It will either be financial aid or merit money. The benefit of being a D3 athletic recruit (aside from playing a sport in college where it is not a “full time job”) is that it is a separate admissions path.
Good feedback for D3’s other than “we want your daughter to play for us” would be:
“Has she taken the ACT/SAT yet, and what was her score? What is her gpa?”
“Send us film and keep us updated on how her season is going athletically and academically.”
“Send us her HS/club team schedule.”
“We will be at XYZ camp/ABC tournament/showcase and we would love to see your daughter in action”
Is this a sport where the HS season is the same as the college season? Also it sounds like the school is close to your home. Anything that calls out that they have specific personal interest is positive. You have a huge advantage with your club coach being an assistant, but at some point the head coach will want to see your daughter in action personally.
Do let your daughter take the lead in her interactions with the coaches.
While parents should be engaged, don’t be that helicopter/lawn mower parent. In all our interactions with coaches for D and S, it was clear when the coaches wanted to talk with the parents. They are usually very receptive to questions about process and next steps, expectations of student athletes (commitment/balance to team and academics), but I would reserve questions about your kid’s position with the team until you are pretty sure they are chasing your kid rather than the reverse.
My D is at the tail end of the recruitment process. She will be attending a D3 school, because those schools that were a great academic fit happened to be D3. She has committed to a school and the coach is supporting her application. But, until I see that congratulatory email or letter from the school in Dec., I will be on pins and needles. So expect to be a nervous wreck til Dec of next year. haha
My D started talking with D3 coaches in her sophomore year. She’s now a senior. While D3 does not give athletic scholarship per se, being a standout athlete with a 4.0 will differentiate you from other 4.0 students in a way that can result in significant merit award if the school offers merit ( and if the coach conveys to admissions the value said athlete would bring to campus). The administration must be able to justify why one individual got an award over another if challenged. And continued receipt of that award is in no way tied to continued participation in the sport.
Thanks @jmk518 - that is useful info!
`Technically, the NCAA prohibits any consideration of athletic participation in the award of financial aid in Division 3. That is not to say that some schools don’t push the envelope. Here is a relatively recent article on the issue
As far as advice, I agree with much of what @gointhruaphase and @BKSquared have laid out above, especially the part about letting your daughter drive the bus. I tried real hard to listen carefully and not ask any questions/engage with the coaches until it was clear that whatever discussion was happening between my son and the coach was done. Then try and ask specific, process type questions. “What is the general recruiting calendar”, “What are the next steps in the process”, “How does the recruiting process work with admissions/financial aid”, those types of questions. Other than that, relax and enjoy the trip.
Apparently, both coaches and athletes “commit” and “decommit” frequently, tho this was something we didn’t understand, and DD really lost an offer because she didn’t want to “commit” verbally until she was sure, and coach found someone else who was more immediately enthusiastic.
Saying that, the coaches in most conferences are friends and do talk, so a commitment to one might keep you from getting an offer or much interest from another.
With D3 nothing is in writing and all you have is the word of the coach, which may or may not be reliable. For my DD, she took her commitment very seriously, and didn’t make “conditional” promises.
So as a senior she is just deciding now between her 2 top schools. Both schools have said they would welcome her to the roster and tell admissions they wanted her thru ED1 or ED2, but she does not have a “slot” or full support. She could have been fully supported at other schools but she is choosing for academics first and sport second.
I’m proud of her for how she has come thru this arduous and stressful process with integrity and maturity.
@OldbatesieDoc, agree that without a slot and only a tip, at the highly selective schools you need to have an ED2 and an ED2 lined up given coaches sometimes limited influence. Our DD had a tip blow up in ED1 at a top-5 LAC, and was glad to have tip support through RD at several other top-20 LAC’s - it was a great learning experience for her, and she’s a happy student-athlete at a great school today.
The visit went very well - the school and it’s personality are a great academic fit, we had a meal with members of the team and they were all very nice. Funny thing is, on the way home a D2 school that she’s been hearing from called to ask her to meet with their admissions rep when they do a campus visit this week. So, another learning experience looms