<p>My son attends an all boy school. He does, however, know some girls in his various music activities. He is not very experienced with girls, and is on the shy side (like his father I might add). He has no desire what so ever to go to the senior ball. We’ve discussed it (including who he could potentially ask) but he just genuinely does not want to go. So, why do my friends continue to bring it up? One annoying neighbor (who keeps asking if he’s going) even went so far as to suggest he take her son’s girlfriend! Why do they all care so much more than him?</p>
<p>Many people look at things like proms as almost manditory - My d turned down two invitations to prom last year, really not wanting to go. Said she thought it was too expensive, too stressful, and “just not worth it”. Her grandmother was shocked that she didn’t attend, but when I inquired as to why it bothered her, she really didn’t have an answer. My s attended both junior and senior proms, had blast in the limo, but was totally bored/let down by the prom itself. Perhaps people feel it’s an important high school memory to have, that somehow it proves you were on the right track socially or something. I don’t know, other than some people are much more nostalgic than others, I guess. I, personally, don’t think it’s a big deal. Busy-body friends/neighbors are one of my pet peeves.</p>
<p>I am both a fellow sufferer and a sort-of offender. S didn’t go to Jr/Sr prom last year, and is not going tonight. I worried - way too much - last year that he would feel left out, and offered ideas for how he could go (around here kids go in stag groups if they like). But he didn’t. This year, he has a girlfriend, but still not going. Robs me of a desired vicarious hs experience and photo op :(.</p>
<p>But, I’ve gotten over it. Anyway, if you talk to a bunch of adult friends, as I have, tons didn’t go their prom and apparently lived to tell the tale!</p>
<p>Weenie – be comforted that your son is not the only one in this situation. I am in essentially the exact same situation. I go to an all-boy school, and my senior prom is looming quickly. </p>
<p>Like people’s daughter, proms are WAY too expensive and stressful for me; I simply don’t like dressing up in expensive clothes that aren’t comfortable, going out to spend $100+ on a meal, engaging in awkward conversation for four hours (no girlfriend here), and then going to the social event that I dislike most – the dance. It’s just not fun for me.</p>
<p>But, like your son, I’ve been getting all kinds of pressure from all sides to go to the prom. I have at least five friends who are CONSTANTLY badgering me to go. My mom’s also pressuring me a little bit, although she’s more understanding than my friends.</p>
<p>When I ask my friends why they want me to go so badly, the only answer they can give is, “Well…uh…it’s your SENIOR PROM…so…uhhh…yeah…YOU HAVE TO GO!” They can give no compelling reason. It’s just weird. </p>
<p>Here are the reasons I think that my friends might be pressuring me, and I imagine they apply for your son, too:</p>
<p>1) They genuinely enjoy my company, and they’d like me around on prom night. They also don’t want me to feel left out.
2) They want me to have fun, and they simply can’t comprehend that someone else could have a differing opinion of how fun prom is.
3) They feel unsettled when someone challenges such a widely-held view that the prom is worthwhile and fun. It’s a gut reaction of defense, perhaps.</p>
<p>jmmom…my son is going, despite disliking what he calls “the rituals of high school.” His friends are attending, and so he’s taking a friend from debate. But as we live in the country, and out of the way, I will also be robbed of my “photo op” unless I track them down like tabloid paparazzi. His was a last minute decision, and he was leaning more towards not going. Ironically, he has been asked to co-emcee the naming of the prom court. I don’t know that I would put him in front of an open mic given his feelings on prom court candidates. 
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<p>I went to Kings Dominion to see Molly Hatchet the night of my senior prom. I think my friends and I had just as much fun.</p>
<p>I attended a few proms as the date of a junior or senior. But I skipped my own senior prom. I had a boyfriend from another school who would have been more than happy to go, but I just had no interest in it. I didn’t have a lot of friends in my class, and it seemed like an expensive way to do a lot of standing around with people I didn’t generally hang out with. As an adult, I have no feeling that I missed out on anything. Now, as the mother of a boy, I think it sounds like something he would absolutely hate.</p>
<p>I went to my senior prom last night. After being coerced into going (dateless) by some friends, the dance itself really wasn’t fun for me. The music actually wasn’t that bad, but I don’t like to dance…so I ended up sitting most of the night. It kind of seemed like a waste of time. I had fun hanging out with my friends before and after, but I could have done that anytime…so I don’t know if it was really worth it or not.</p>
<p>I decided to go at the last minute last year (the night before, I bought a dress off the clearance rack so I could go), and it was ok - actually, I probably had a little more fun than this year.</p>
<p>I’m just not a dancing person. I don’t feel like I have the rhythm to dance, so honestly there’s a lot more enjoyable things I can think of to do. It’s really up to him, though…if he doesn’t want to go, don’t make him.</p>
<p>So nice especially to hear from kids about their prom feelings. While my son may feel pressured about it (in spite of my efforts to deflect some of this), all I can think about is how I would feel on prom night if he was going - knowing the whole time that he was feeling awkward and probably miserable. I just hope I’ve never put a kid or a parent in this position. It does make one more careful about the questions and prodding that can sometimes go on in casual conversation between parents of peers.</p>
<p>Its just not his thing…just keep saying that…just not his thing…</p>
<p>My S went last year with a girl who asked him - had a nice time - went with a group. This year (he’s a Senior) not going even tho’ he has a GF - they just aren’t “into” that kind of stuff…fine with me and DH as we would be the ones shelling out the $$$ since he just started a job last week.</p>
<p>My H took me to my prom - and started an argument with me as we got there…because he didn’t want me to know he couldn’t dance (and still can’t)!!</p>
<p>Someone pointed out that you could take a weekend vacation for the cost of prom. Dress + limo + tickets + make-up + hair + shoes + dinner - yeah, I could go away for a weekend for $500 and have a blast.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to prom. No interest. No date. No friends who would do anything that night except sit on their date’s laps and use the baby voices. My parents said they would pay for it - really thought I should go. Six years later, I’m still happy that I didn’t go. You can have good memories - and you can also have bad memories. In my heart, I’m sure it would have been boring at best (just waiting for it to be over) and horrible at worst - no one to talk to, just sitting there like a 3rd wheel, which had happened at other dances.</p>
<p>If need be, tell the busybodies that S is using what would be prom money for an exotic vacation or something.</p>
<p>My son has zero, no, (perhaps negative) interest in his prom. My wife thinks it is tragic, that he is missing out. As the prom approaches the school has announced draconian measures to assure no “substance abuse” will occur. Everything short of breathalyzer. Kids will be individually greeted (and assessed) at the door by chaperones and police, they will be escorted to the bathroom. I am surprised anyone is going!</p>
<p>S#1 had no interest in going to the prom and did not go. We’ve just returned from renting a tux for S#2 who will be going but does not know how to dance and is convinced he’ll make a fool of himself. He does not seem too worried about it, though. But his brother is ever more convinced he was right not to go.</p>
<p>My son isn’t going either. He never had any interest in high school dances nor in high school football games. I have gently suggested many times that he might want to go at least once, just to have had the experience. But no. He’s relieved to not be going to these events. I imagine that he and his girlfriend will go out to dinner and a movie, though. And of course, there’s the graduation parties to mark the event. I think the prom is very expensive and somewhat overrated, as evidenced by some of the above comments about boredom.</p>
<p>Of course, y’all are going to see this routine again - and it will be on steriods. It’s called a wedding. The people who get all excited about prom will be picking out wedding dresses a week after getting engaged; the ones who don’t care will let their fiances do the work - or elope. </p>
<p>Thought I heard enough of it six and seven years ago. No dice. You cut off the head, and three grow in its place, except there aren’t any Greek warriors around to slay the wedding monster.</p>
<p>Perhaps they are simply interested in your son and they know it is time for the Ball/Prom. When you say he’s not going, they mistakenly want to help out by offering that “…he could take so and so…” After this happens once or three times, it seems like everyone is butting into your/his business. The next one who asks doesn’t know that it has become a “sore subject”. This may not be the case, but it seems pretty innocent to me…</p>
<p>LOL…MY son is the exact opposite…he’s a party animal. Last year as a sophomore he announced himself as an emergency date"for hire" that is available for any junior girl who got dumped or whatever at the last minute.Don’t you know he got taken up on his offer…by a girl he knew from Key Club who “got dumped”. His feeling? I have a suit and I know how to dance…
This year he’s going to his junior prom with a girl who has been a friend since god knows when (same suit)…and announced his availability for the senior prom!!!</p>
<p>^ hahaha! good for him!</p>
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<p>Prom was pretty cheap for me, actually…I think I spent under $100 total. There’s no tickets to buy because juniors do all the fundraising for it, and I got a free limo ride because my friend’s dad paid for it. My dress was on sale for $45, jewelry was about $25 (yay for fake rhinestones!), and I used some old shoes…I did my own hair and makeup. Then, dinner was paid for by my male friend/date, but I don’t think it was more than $10 anyway.</p>
<p>Yes, I am very very cheap, but I definitely wouldn’t have gone for $500 if it had cost that much, considering my whole experience was just sort of…ok.</p>
<p>Same story here, OP. S attends all-boys Catholic school. No junior prom, no senior ball. He’ll probably spend the night IM’ing his 100 new freshman friends.</p>