Hey I have a question out of interest and because I’m a bit disappointed in my North American college experience so far. It’s NOT fun to me. I will eventually go back to Europe after studying, but as long as I’m here, I really wanted to use the time. The reason why I study abroad is to experience the North American culture, and travel lots, have unforgettable study abroad experiences. Forget it! Not with these people, it’s not possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I do like to drink on weekend nights, but without getting wasted or partying wildly. I even smoke weed here occasionally (not a thing in Europe!) and try everything. But why do their whole lives revolve around party and getting totally wasted and senselessly hooking up (instead of having real relationships??). It gets very boring to me.
So anyway, I just wanted to know, is that kind of immaturity normal at North American colleges/University? I know my high school system in Europe is way harder, so I had to study very hard from an early age that college almost seems like a relief compared to high school workload and difficulty. Could it be that they never experienced that and could breeze through high school drinking partying etc? Also I traveled a lot for my young age, maybe they just still live kind of in their own little world because they don’t have the experiences and adventures I had?? (sounds mean lol but it could be true because it gives you another perspective)
I wonder if it’s just my college, and I wonder why are 19 year olds and people in their twenties still like this? Is it possible to find real friends, who are just more down to earth/more adult?
I don’t mean to criticize anyone but I just have that question because I live like 8400km from everyone I like and love, so I really need one real best friend like my old high school friends, not just superficial drinking-partying friends who would drop you in an instant.
My university is literally having a riot tonight because the team comprised of students from this university threw an oddly shaped object better than another team.
“As with any group of people, some live with different standards.” No I wouldn’t say with any group of people. It’s not like with any group of people because most people outside of University aren’t really like that.
Oh and btw my University has a middle good ranking, I couldn’t go to a big, famous State University because I pay International tuition (three times more tuition than Canadians).
It is unlikely that “all” of your peers are exactly the way that you describe. People enter college with all different levels of maturity and experiences. Unfortunately there is this image of the “college experience” in North America that includes wild partying at fraternity houses and Greek activities, as part of the sporting events, and whatnot. There are so many young people who ascribe to this image and they don’t want to miss it. It is what it is, but if it isn’t for you then you can choose not to partake of it. If you want to meet more like minded peers who are not into the party scene, then go to the places that those peers hang out. Maybe it is the free campus movies, the coffee shop on campus, the art museum, the laundry room at 8 AM on the weekends because all the partiers are in bed and there’s no wait for the laundry machines, or whereever.
Maybe you just know the wrong people. I go to a college well known for its party culture in the US and yeah a lot of people get drunk on the weekends, but there are also plenty of people who do other things (like me). If your university is decently sized, I doubt you can make any solid conclusions about EVERY group of people there. Remember that you are interacting within a subset of people within a single college in a single province of Canada. What you experience is hardly representative of all colleges and college students in North America… It’s like saying if I studied at one university in Europe, I’d know what all universities in Europe were like.
Personally I think stress can be a big factor; I know some of my acquaintances go out to get drunk on a Friday night because they’re stressed out and tired from a heavy course load during the week.
Not being well traveled probably isn’t a factor. I know plenty of intelligent, mature people who have never traveled outside of their country of birth.
As for making other friends, if you’re living in a dorm there’s bound to be some residents who are not drinking- try to find them. Join extracurricular activities, go to non-alcohol related events (usually they’re organized by the university), etc. Give it time.
I think yours is a good observation and an important question. I don’t know about what goes on in Canada but I have a few thoughts about the states. It is JMHO, but I think our culture gives our youth few responsibilities, coddles them, most have easy lives and we hold their hands way too long. Even the laws don’t allow them to grow up. For example, in my state kids can’t even drive after 9pm until they are 18 years old. This is the same age they can go to war. Really, we can send them off to get killed but they can’t go to a 7pm movie and drive home before 18? When I was young the legal drinking age was 18. Now it is 21. We are delaying this so long that we’ve made it a big deal and something they wait a long time for and romanticize. Few kids hold jobs these days. Instead we encourage travel sports and participation in school. There is nothing wrong with that but the responsibility and humility one learns from an unskilled part time job as a teenager is very valuable. Today’s youth and twenty-somethings are attached to their parents by their cell phones and rarely make a decision on their own or actually spend time handling things on their own. Instead, they call their parents and often times the parents are solving the problems for their adult children. Today’s young adults don’t want to sacrifice, have roommates and pay for their own apartments but instead continue to live with their parents. By sacrifice I mean not having all their luxuries such as Iphones, toys, nice cars, $$ to go out on the weekends. I rarely see adult children living at home holding a second job. I think is some ways American kids just have it too good so they don’t mature. We’ve created a culture of 20 somethings (and older at this point) who feel entitled and often display immature behavior.
Of course there are always exceptions. Yes, many youth in our country are truly underprivileged and grow up in horrible conditions. Everyday I also see youth and young adults doing amazing things, being responsible (probably like most kids whose parents read this board), and displaying maturity and independence. But I do think the OP is on to something…there is a general maturity problem present in our culture.
OP, are you at Vancouver Island University? If so it is a very new school with low admission standards. The students there may not be academically inclined. It is a naïve mistake to assume that your fellow students are representative of students at the stronger schools in Canada and the US.
Had you chosen UBC, Toronto or McGill you would be having a very different experience.
Unfortunately, North American youth do not have the same sex education in both school and at home that European kids do. I recently saw a film for parents put on by Planned Parenthood that outlined the differences starkly. Europeans talk with kids more frankly, and they also talk about love and relationships and how to have a satisfying sexual relationship. In North America we mainly talk about mechanics and how to not get pregnant or a disease. The result is that American teens have sex at a younger age, have many more partners than European young adults, and are more likely to have sex outside of a loving relationship. Oddly, because we talk about things less, our kids are more promiscuous. This doesn’t mean that everyone is like this, but you are going to have to look harder at your university to find people who are ready and able to enter loving relationships than you would in Europe.
@UNYMomhttp://chartsbin.com/view/xxj I’m not sure how accurate that map is today, but it seems like that teens in Europe and the US/Canda/Mexico have sex beginning at a similar age.
I do agree that the US needs better sex education, though, in terms of discussing health and preventative measures for pregnancy. I still think OP’s observations are being very skewed by the limited amount of people he/she’s interacted with at their college.
Okay, first of all, smoking weed is totally a thing in Europe. I studied abroad in Amsterdam and it’s legal there.
I think maybe you just need to find a group of students you click with. American students, like European students, are diverse and varied: some are going to be concerned with drinking and partying and some are going to prefer other social interactions and settings. You just need to find the students who are more interested in other settings.
Also, don’t assume that the hard-partying and drinking students are somehow less loyal people or good friends just because they like to party.
Juillet, Amsterdam doesn’t represent Europe. I’m not Dutch but Swiss and literally no one in my whole country smokes weed (because you would be in BIG trouble lol).
And yeah I know hard-partying students could be good friends but I made the experience that they relatively fast drop you after a while when you don’t participate. These friendships never stay for me because they like getting really wasted and dancing wildly at ladies whole I’d honestly much rather sit somewhere drinking wine and beer (I don’t even like wodka or whiskey), getting drunk to a level where it gets funny, but not disgusting.
I’m not against partying like go ahead if you all like it, but personally I wake up after parties like: What was that…it wasn’t fun.
When you are in your middle 50s like me, you will really come to understand just how young 18-22 year olds are, even yourself. However, I am sure that there are others who are more like you, don’t prefer wild partying and enjoy other cultural activities. You just have to be open to finding them.
In the US, helicopter parenting is a big thing. It has its pros, but micromanaging kids and treating them like children their whole lives until they leave for school, they don’t know how to act any differently.
Sorry to break it to you, but people definitely smoke weed in Switzerland. My mom is from there and I spent a lot of my childhood there. It’s not nearly the same scene as the Netherlands or Germany but it’s a bit naive for you to say that literally “no one else in my whole country smokes weed”.
But yes, generally in America parents micromanage their kids much more and we have less responsibility at a young age. That means when we go off to college and we aren’t under our parents’ wing anymore, a lot of kids go crazy. You wanted the North American college experience…that’s it.
“Sorry to break it to you, but people definitely smoke weed in Switzerland.”
Now what. Is this turning into a discussion about weed right now? Ok well: They do not do it where I live! I am fairly confident that I know it better than you, or how long did you live in Adelboden?
And even if some do it in big cities, it stands in no relation to weed consumption on the west coast of Canada!! And yes, I sometimes snook weed here but I don’t feel comfortable, it smells and tastes bad and has no effect on me.
