<p>Example: My hs boyfriend. Super-smart, super-hard worker, a good kid, etc. Parents were divorced. Father had gone to Wash U and UCLA, was well educated, had a great job, a mover and shaker in the financial community. Son got into Northwestern for chemical engineering. Father refused to pay (mother couldn’t). No reason … well, except he was now cycling through various flavor-of-the-month women, and it was more important that they go on around the world cruises and that he buy them diamonds. Meanwhile, not only was son completely on his own financially, son went off to Chicago without a proper winter coat / clothing or a suit, which my parents wound up buying because they took pity on him. Son went hungry on the weekends (which I didn’t know at the time) since he didn’t have money for meals (much less money to take his girlfriend out, which wounded him deeply even though I didn’t care). I don’t know all the details, of course, but I sure did know enough of THAT situation to be disgusted by the father’s actions. And I still am. Judgment? Yeah, on that one, you bet.</p>
<p>New cars, or inexpensive used cars? There is quite a bit of difference between an average priced new car ($28,000), a cheap new car ($12,000), and a cheap used car ($4,000 or less). Note that retail car transactions involve more used cars than new cars, so the average car purchase (including used cars) is likely to be of significantly lower price than the average new car price.</p>
<p>What I observe is that kids who get cars while still in high school are often driving cheap used cars, or hand-me-down cars from their parents (although the latter sometimes coincides with the parents buying another car for themselves).</p>
<p>Sometimes, parents buy their kids cars (or retain an old car instead of selling it when they buy themselves another car) for the parents’ convenience.</p>
<p>Wasteful? There are so many things in our society which are wasteful, but assuming that the colleges I sent my kids to use the tuition dollars to pay faculty and make sure that the janitors who mop the floors of the labs, and allow librarians and archivists and the person who preserves centuries old musical instruments to earn a living, I’ll respectfully object to the use of the word “wasteful”.</p>
<p>Your public school education uses tax dollars paid by your neighbors to do some of these same functions. Maybe they consider it a wasteful use of their dollars, and think their tax money should go for parks or repairing bridges.</p>
<p>Call me out on the fact that I don’t compost my banana peels. Or that I subscribe to two newspapers a day and have home delivery. These are wasteful habits and I own up to them. But describing paying for private U’s as wasteful? That’s a new one.</p>
<p>I am so very sorry about your mother. We have a parent who has needed 24 hr care for 15 years and it is very expensive. Fortunately the parent has the assets to cover these costs. My husband and I probably won’t. Regardless, I have already made clear my wishes. I refuse to end up in that situation and I’m not doing financial planning with that in mind. Like with college expenses, this is a personal choice. I’m not suggesting anyone else agree with my decision. It’s enough I’m comfortable with it. imo</p>
<p>I don’t know all the details of how much aid (if any) he was granted (when the parent was clearly wealthy and simply refused to pay), how much the father actually coughed up when push came to shove, or how much he made through work / study or the other jobs I know he worked. </p>
<p>This was my high school boyfriend. His father’s lavish spending on flavors-of-the-month and refusal to pay for his education was a sore subject for him and it was made all the sorer by the fact that I was at the same school, had no such worries, and how he was both embarrassed and grateful to my family for buying him a proper winter coat and a proper suit, so what was I going to do, rub it in by inquiring about the specific dollar amounts?? I know what happened conceptually as I described above and that’s all I needed to know.</p>
<p>I will add my condolences about bookmouse’s mother, and good wishes for things to go as well as they possibly can.</p>
<p>When collegehelp started this thread, and from posts continuing through #143, I had the impression that the cousin’s parents were reluctant to take out a loan for $80,000. However, post #378 clarifies that they already <em>have</em> taken out the loan, and makes it clear how they had the means to do that. So the answer to the original question about why people are reluctant to do it is: They probably don’t have the option to shuffle around money that they actually have, by taking the loan while leaving sufficient retirement funds untouched (which the cousin’s parents were able to do).</p>
<p>Actually, I completely missed #378 due to still thinking about #237, alleging that one meets such a superior class of people at private schools.</p>
<p>I thought the first example was some family he knew who were 12 years into a loan they can manage. Then relatives who don’t want to go that route. Then 378 goes back to the first family. By now OP should understand that what works for one, doesn’t make for universals. Especially since their loan terms are not available today and they have paid down enough to have reduced their monthly cost. Something like that.</p>
<p>Book mouse, I’m also sorry when unexpected expensive long term health need or other surprises take resources that have already been expended. It’s always tough to figure out how to best do things. None of us has a great crystal ball. </p>
<p>I’m glad my sibs and I were able to all go to college and grad/pro school and my parents are able to live comfortably and travel as much as they want and have all their med expenses paid for by dad’s former employer and Medicare. I’m also glad that so far all of us in the family have been able to send our kids to colleges that are a great academic and all around fit without anyone appearing to have serious financial strain in the process.</p>
<p>I went to Cornell from 1977 to 1981 and it was close to doable if a student really wanted to do it. I came very close to paying my last two years myself … largest subsidized loan possible … work 10-15 hours a week during school … work 2 jobs in the summer … work during winter break … etc. I was pretty close to having it all covered myself … and at 15-20 hours a week during school and I could have covered it myself (Cornell was something like $6700 my frosh year and $8100 my senior year)</p>
<p>Today with a $60k tab a student can not get anywhere near paying themselves without major drug deals.</p>
<p>I would really like to believe the essays and letters of recommendation sort out the students wanting to attend certain schools to meet the superior class of people It is difficult enough for me to come with terms with educational elitism. I don’t see a way around that issue.</p>
<p>ucbalumnus, my DH worked his way through Penn (79-83). Had a Ben Franklin scholarship (back when BF included merit within need), GSLs and jobs. Had to graduate in 3.5 years because he didn’t have enough money for the eighth semester. Got zero money from parents. I had to take him out to buy an interview suit (at Sears, which was all he could afford).</p>
<p>Actually, it was more a question about what Northwestern’s list price was back then. I know that working one’s way through college (without any parental support, even if disqualified from financial aid by wealthy parents) at the in-state public was not that unusual back then, but I had the impression that the expensive private schools were too expensive for that to be realistic, even back then.</p>
<p>Post #237 includes the claim about the superior class of people at elite schools as well as the example family’s use of the loan as a financial management tactic to avoid selling other (plentiful) assets.</p>
<p>ucb, COA at Penn broke the $10k barrier the year DH graduated. His BF award was full tuition, and he took out Staffords (GSLs at the time) and worked 20 hrs/week to pay room, board, books and personal $$. He had a couple of summer internships that paid reasonably well ($10/hr in 1982 was pretty good $$) that helped him get by.</p>
<p>Duke was $8k the fall of 1979, which put it out of my reach. In-state flagship was $2800 – I was able to do that, barely.</p>
<p>I worked my way through college too…it was about $900 a year for tuition/room/board at an Ohio public university from 1969-1973. I graduated with a grand total of $1000 in debt which was all canceled because I worked in a very low income, rural area in a special education field. </p>
<p>It cost my daughter more than $900 for her first term engineering books.</p>
<p>$900 in 1969 dollars is $5,742.07 in 2013 dollars, according to [CPI</a> Inflation Calculator](<a href=“CPI Inflation Calculator”>CPI Inflation Calculator) . That would be a cost that a student can self-fund with work earnings* and direct loans today – it is in the range of expected student contributions at many schools that “meet full need”.</p>
<p>But today’s price for the same university is undoubtedly far more than $5,742.07.</p>
<p>*Despite the likely reduced earning power (in inflation-adjusted dollars) of high school graduates / college students today compared to 1969.</p>